I’M DOING A SURVEY TO DISTRACT MYSELF FROM HOW MUCH I HATE MY EXISTENCE RIGHT NOW


1) What was your dream growing up?
I always wanted to go to Antarctica. Always. I still do, but apart from becoming a glaciologist or something and going down there for research, I don’t think there’s any other way I could justify it. The more people that go down there, the more damage occurs.

2) What talent do you wish you had?
Not being a useless bag of trash.

3) If I bought you a drink what would it be?
Water, yo. Or Red Bull.

4) What was the last book you read?
Uhhhhhhhhh jeez. I don’t remember. Fun, huh?

5) Worst Habit?
That’s private.

6) If you saw me walking down the street would you offer me a ride?
Sure, but I don’t have a car, so…

7) What is your favorite sport?
BASEBALL BASEBALL BASEBALL

8) What would you do if you were stuck in an elevator with me?
DIE

9) Worst thing to ever happen to you?
E X I S T E N C E

10) Tell me one weird fact about you.
I can fold my entire outer ear into my ear canal. I do so quite often.

11) What if I showed up at your house unexpectedly?
GET OUT

12) If you could change one thing about how you look, what would it be?
E V E R Y T H I N G

13) Would you be my crime partner or my conscience?
Depends. Are we committing murder or are we going streaking through a park at 2 AM?

14) Ever been arrested?
Nope. Not even close.

15) If you won $10,000 today, what would you do with it?
Probably buy three of those $3000 speakers Try to save it. Maybe buy one speaker?

16) Favorite thing to do in your spare time?
Think. Walk. Do both at the same time.

17) Biggest pet peeve?
You know I’m going to say the sidewalk thing. Why can’t people treat walking like driving and walk ON THE RIGHT SIDE OF THE SIDEWALK? Is this really that difficult of a concept?

18) In one word, how would you describe yourself?
Worthless.

19) Do you believe in/appreciate romance?
I appreciate it, yes. I don’t expect over the top nonsense or anything like that, but kind, thoughtful little gestures are great. Nate is fantastic at that, haha.

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