Immoratlizing this somewhere other than the forums
I’m going to immortalize this somewhere other than on the forum to which I belong, because I thought it was hilarious. This is what happens when teenagers attempt to argue, somewhat seriously, a completely pointless topic.
if one smelt it, have they really dealt it?
It has been stated the first to smell it truly is the one who deals it, as everyone is particular of their own gas secretions.
Scientifically though, it is possible to rip and run, and follow through with a silent run, confusing many as to who had farted.
But he who denies it, does he supply it?
Hypothesis: He who denies it supplies it.
Experiment: One of two people farts in a room. Two third parties blame each suspect of the deed. Both deny.
Proof: If there is one fart, yet two deniers, then the denier is not necessarily the supplier.
Experiment2: One of two people fart. Both suspects are asked by a third party if they did it. The guilty party confesses to his deed, while the innocent party denies.
Proof: If the supplier can choose to not deny it, then the denier is not necessarily the supplier.
Results: He who denies it supplies it is not a legitimate theorem.
its like schrödinger’s fart
either person could have farted until someone admits it
until someone admits it, the fart is in a quantum superposition
I have found that, at times, he who said the rhyme did the crime.
Interesting.
I see I have much to learn on the philosophical quandaries of flatus.
I did it. It was me.
Forums. They’re fun, aren’t they?
WOOO! Survey!
FRIENDS! A survey about you!
Yes, I suck at the top four “same sex” questions, give me a break! Most of the people I know real well are male.
Top 4 Same Sex
1 Maggie
2 Brittany
3 Shannyn
4 Jessi!!
Top 4 Opposite Sex
5 Rob
6 Sean
7 Nick
8 Aneel
:One:
(1) What’s this person’s sign?: Capricorn
(2) How did you meet?: Marching band!
(3) Are they with anyone else on your top 8?: Nope
(4) What’s their favourite food?: Nachos, most likely.
(5) Do they give the best hugs?: They give good hugs, yes
(6) Are you related to them?: Nope
(7) What do they want to be when they’re older?: Music archivist, I do believe (or something along those lines)
(8) Could you live with them?: That would be highly entertaining
(9) What’s their quirk that makes them so unique?: Her humor
(10) Have you ever written them a post card?: Nope
(11) How often do you see them?: Every week or so
(12) Do you / did you go to school with them?: College!
(13) What colour eyes do they have?: Blue
(14) Are they taller or shorter than you?: Taller
(15) Can they be stubborn?: Indeed
:Two:
(1) What’s their middle name?: Marie
(2) When you met, who spoke first?: We were both kind of talking…I can’t remember
(3) Are they single or taken?: Single
(4) Do they take life seriously?: She can
(5) What do they normally wear?: Sexy things
(6) Which parent do they look most like?: I don’t know, I’ve never seen her parents
(7) Are they a good writer?: I don’t know, I’ve never seen anything she’s written
(8) What’s their best physical trait?: Boobies!
(9) Do they have any bad habits?: Probably, but don’t we all?
(10) What TV show do they never miss?: I know she likes South Park and Futurama
(11) Do your parents like them?: Never met her
(12) What are they likely to be doing right now?: She’s on Messenger, that’s all I know
(13) Do they play guitar?: In games, at least
(14) Would they dye their hair?: She might, but her natural hair color is very pretty
(15) What reminds you of them?: Concert band!
:Three:
(1) What color hair does this person have?: Brown
(2) Do they have a cat?: Several, I do believe
(3) What accent do they have?: None
(4) Are they straight?: Believe so
(5) What’s the funniest thing they’ve said?: Shannyn says a lot of funny things; that’s why I love her
(6) Is their room always tidy?: I’ve only been to her house like twice
(7) How do they act to you when they’re upset?: You know, I’ve never seen her really upset I don’t think
(8) What’s their best subject?: You know, I don’t remember. Did you like English?
(9) Are they close to their family?: I believe so
(10) Do they drink?: Don’t think so
(11) Is this person a bit of a rebel?: In her own little way
(12) What’s the one thing you cannot imagine this person ever doing?: Getting really, really angry.
(13) Have you talked to this person on IM in the past 24 hours?: Nope
(14) What’s the last thing you did together?: Road trip last summer?
(15) What’s their heritage?: Not sure
:Four:
(1) Is this person a good cook?: No idea
(2) Do you guys do everything together?: When marching band’s going, we have fun doing that
(3) What was the last thing you two laughed at?: Her boyfriend when he fell down the stairs.
(4) Do they have a myspace account?: Yup
(5) Is their skin darker or lighter than yours?: Darker, tanner.
(6) Do they bite their nails?: I don’t think so
(7) Name 5 artists on their iPod: I don’t even know if she has an iPod
(8) How do you cheer them up?: Shout “WIFEY!” and hug her
(9) Does this person care about healthy eating?: Don’t know
(10) Do they know how to PARTAY!!!: Haha, probably in a Jessi way.
(11) What do you like most about them?: She’s funny. That and we’re married.
(12) Do you love them?: We’re married! Of course I love her!
(13) What’s their handwriting like?: I don’t think I’ve ever seen it?
(14) How do they normally have their hair?: Pony tail, I think
(15) What smiley do they overuse on IM?: Never IM’ed each other
:Five:
(1) You guys go to dinner. Who pays?: Depends on whose turn it is.
(2) Where did you meet this person?: Pizza Hut on Vandal Friday
(3) Have you ever considered dating them?: Yup. And look how it’s turned out.
(4) Do people often think you’re together?: Depends on the level of gropage occurring.
(5) …ARE you together?: Yup.
(6) What’s the best thing about their personality?: He actually cares and he respects my boundaries. I don’t think he knows how much that means.
(7) Have you ever hugged this person?: Yes, a lot
(8) How often do you talk to this person on IM?: Almost every night
(9) Do you have their phone number?: Yup
(10) Do you hang out with groups of friends or just with each other?: Both
(11) Are they taller than you?: Haha, almost everyone’s taller than me.
(12) If you went exploring, would they be likely to get you lost?: Probably not.
(13) Do they confide into you a lot?: A fair amount
(14) What’s their best physical trait?: His eyes. His soft hair.
(15) Do they have any pets?: Jess has a cat.
:Six:
(1) What’s this person’s best physical trait?: He’s got the most beautiful hair I’ve ever seen.
(2) Does this person make you laugh a lot?: Oh my god, you have no idea.
(3) Name 3 artists on their iPod: Nightmare, another Japanese band that I don’t know the English name of ‘cause he never told me and it shows up in Japanese characters, and Deep Forest (thanks to me, haha).
(4) Do they give the best hugs ever?: I’ve only hugged him a few times, but yes.
(5) If this person kissed you, would you kiss back?: Haha, Rob would be so pissed.
(6) Have you guys dated in the past?: Ehhh…kinda. We went out once.
(7) Is this person a big sleeper?: He goes to bed late, but likes to sleep in.
(8) If they had a band, what instrument would they play?: Guitar, probably.
(9) What do you love about their personality?: He’s the wittiest, most intelligent person I think I’ve ever met.
(10) Can they trust you?: Yes. I hope he knows that, too.
(11) Are they single?: Think so…
(12) Do you find them physically attractive?: Sean’s hot.
(13) What’s their favorite movie?: He doesn’t like movies.
(14) Have you ever stayed at their house?: Just for a few hours.
(15) Would you take a bullet for them?: Of course!
:Seven:
(1) Does this person love food?: Hahaha, oh dear god yes.
(2) When was the last time you saw them?: Last week.
(3) How old were you when you met?: 18, he was 19.
(4) What’s their voice like?: Distinctive.
(5) When you first met, did you even consider getting together?: Nah, we’ve been platonic from the start.
(6) Would you now?: Nah, he’s in a relationship and so am I.
(7) Have you ever kissed them?: Nope.
(8) What makes them special to you?: Our personalities complement each other perfectly; we have the best conversations because we can prompt each other. And we’re both philosophy nerds.
(9) Have you told a lie for this person?: Once or twice.
(10) Do you think you’ll be friends forever?: Nick’s awesome. I sure hope so
(11) Do they ‘like’ anyone right now?: Yup.
(12) Are they playful?: Very
(13) Could you live with them?: Haha, that would be hilarious.
(14) Do you love them?: Platonically.
(15) What do they do best?: Philosophize and complain that they don’t want to teach philosophy as their career.
:Eight:
(1) Is this person cute?: In his own little Aneel way.
(2) Describe their hair.: Dark brown, short (last time I saw him, at least)
(3) Are they slightly sick-minded?: Slightly.
(4) What do you like about them physically?: I’ve always liked your eyes, Aneel
(5) And their personality?: Only one word can suffice: “Aneelish”
(6) Are they a flirt?: Oh my yes
(7) What’s their sign?: Aquarius!
(8) Have you ever thought about kissing them?: Nah, we’re platonic
(9) Do you think they might have a crush on you?: See above
(10) Do they give you lots of hugs?: When I see him. But it’s usually prompted by my groping him.
(11) Would you trust them with your life?: Maybe
(12) If they were famous, what would it be for?: Hahaha, pimp.
(13) Are they a good leader?: He’s too quiet
(14) If you had to save 1’s life, would you sleep with this person?: I don’t think that would make either Aneel or #1 happy, but yes.
(15) Can this person draw?: I think so
Is this a haiku? Nobody knows but Jesus. What a lame title.
Ah, internet forums, how I love you.
Take a forum that is 99% preteen and teenage males.
Have one of them start a thread about Haikus.
Laugh at resulting poems.
This topic is great,
You can write many Haikus,
this is a haiku.
I can write Haikus,
You also can write Haikus,
Let us write Haikus.
Haiku Haiku Hai-
Ku Haiku Haiku Haiku
Haiku Haiku Ergh.
I see what you mean
these poems are very odd
This is Sparta—aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
This topic is great
I struggle to fit in words
Dude, i hate you, fuck
rhyming, how clever
now it’s harder than ever
but alright, whatever
Fail at haiku,
Take the internet seri-
-ously, you lose sir
Cornucopia
Full of dry fruits and the like
Stunning proportions
When I was a young
boy my father took me in-
to the city to
See a marching band.
He said, “Son, when you grow up,
will you be the sav-
Ior of the broken,
the beaten and the damned?” He
said, “Will you defeat
them, your demons, and
all the non-believers, the
plans that they have made?”
What what in the butt
I say what what in the butt
That is a haiku
Clock Crew, you rock my socks off.
Hmm, well I wasn’t expecting this…
Claudia + Rob + date = end of “soap opera from hell week,” wouldn’t you think?
Ha.
It has barely freaking begun.
Please note that this is a “preferred readers only” blog, one that I would really like to remain a “preferred readers only” blog. That means keep your freaking mouth shut and your hot little fingers from scrolling down to this blog when in the company of others, okay? I come here to rant with the expectation that it will be kept among my close friends, not shown to the world out of context. I thought this was a thing of common knowledge, that preferred-readers only blogs would not be discussed forthrightly with others, but apparently I’m wrong, so I’m saying it now: keep your damn mouths shut about these, or they will become private. Got it? Good. [Edit from the far off future year of 2025: LOL I DON’T GIVE A SHIT ANYMORE; READ ON, PUBLIC EYES!]
So as my blog indicated a few days ago, I went on a very nice date with Rob. We hit it off, so we’re going out again. Sounds great, huh?
Enter the ex-girlfriend.
Apparently, she is still in love with him and has no qualms about telling me this over Facebook. She feels hopeless and alone. And I feel like an asshole.
I’ve tried to rationalize the situation—there’s nothing I should feel guilty about. A) I didn’t initiate this, B) I had no idea the situation regarding Rob’s previous relationship, and C) I had no idea they were freaking living together until about six hours into our date.
And yet, I can’t help but feel that I’ve fucked things up yet again with my amazing ability to, well, exist. It probably sounds incredibly emo, but I’m sitting here bawling my eyes out over this, ’cause I don’t want to be the bad guy. I don’t want to be the girl who “steals” the guy (even though I know…I know that’s not the situation here).
I empathize with her. I know what it feels like to still have feelings for a person when the relationship ends, especially when it didn’t end mutually. But I can’t imagine having the other person get into another relationship while you still have those feelings of love for them.
But what do you say to this person when you’re the one with whom that the person they still love has just started a relationship? “Sorry”? That’s not sufficient, and we all know it’s not.
And it doesn’t help that this whole twisted thing is playing out over MSN Messenger. Really. I’m talking to Rob, and I’m talking to her. Separately. It’s very, very unpleasant. And I hate it cause there’s no good answer in regards to what should be done (and don’t you dare tell me there is, ’cause there’s fucking not).
So yeah. It’s been a freaking great night.
The only thing that’s been keeping me sane is Sean’s amazing ability to make light of everything. Sean rocks.
More to come, guys, I’m sure of it.
Stay tuned.
Spinoza! Descartes! Am I going to have to separate you two?
Holy crap, I just went antiquing and found the COOLEST WRISTWATCH IN EXISTENCE!
The thing is like the size of a half dollar. No, it’s even bigger than that! It’s like two half-dollars! How absolutely impractical is that?! Plus, the elastic strap is too big to fit around my wrist, so if I’m going to ever wear this I’m either going to have to move it up further on my arm (thus looking even more super cool) or strap it onto my ankle or something. Maybe I’ll just tack it onto my wall as a miniature wall clock. Best. Find. Ever. Ooh! And I also got a little Pillsbury Doughboy figurine for free. It’s like a dog toy. Bliss.
And, of course, bliss = survey, so off we go!
1. How many songs do you have in your music library?
1,161 (I did a mass cleanup and I still haven’t put my Candide audiobook chapters back up).
2. What song best describes your life right now?
“Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger” by Daft Punk. Why? A) it’s awesome, and my life is going that route right now and B) the title (and thus about 80% of the lyrics) summarizes how I want to be in my life.
3. Where do you see yourself living in six months?
Actually, Sean and I were talking and he wants to get about seven people together and rent a house all together outside of campus. I’d totally go for that, cause I’m so freaking sick of the dorms. Plus I’ve got this insatiable urge to cohabitate with strangers all of a sudden. Yeah, I know, what’s up with that?!
4. What are you good at that few others are?
Pushing the limits of how many credits a person can withstand while still getting a 4.0 and not going insane. And taking business calculus at 8:30 in the freaking morning and not killing myself/my teacher/anyone else who dares cross my path.
5. Dominant or submissive?
Who, me? I’m waaaaaaaaaay too submissive. But hopefully I’ll find someone who likes that, if you know what I mean. Oh-ho! I’m naughty.
6. What’s your best subject at school?
Hell, I don’t know. I p0wned tests and measurements, can that count as a subject?
7. Any guilty pleasures?
Haha. I’ve officially sold my soul to Macromedia via Flash.
8. Would you rather be a math major or a business major?
Math major. No question.
9. Favorite video on YouTube?
Ooh, tough. Either Daft Hands or the Yogi Bear thing (both linked in my blogs prior to this one. Curious? Seek them out, good readers!).
10. What is the last thing that made you laugh?
Well, the last question made me reminisce about the Yogi Bear thing, and thus I’m watching it right now. So, “I didn’t know this was a fucking survival horror game! I fucking shit my pants!”
11. What color hair does the object of your affections have?
Red. He’s Irish.
12. What’s the sexiest item of clothing you own?
My orange toe socks with the purple toes and the purple, turquoise, and white polka dots. Awwwww, yeah.
13. Do you have any artistic talent?
Bahaha! Have you seen my Flash animations?
14. What’s your GPA?
4.0!
15. Favorite web comic?
www.xkcd.com, by far (the most recent one is oh, so very true, by the way).
16. Ever been pregnant?
Haha, the Immaculate Conception, part II!
17. Are you afraid of death?
Nope.
18. What song best describes your love life right now?
Oh god…can I just put “White and Nerdy” and get a good laugh from everyone?
19. What was the last thing you copied and pasted?
It was a huge chunk of text, I’ll just give you a cool-sounding part: “…channeling a myriad of doubt from its origins, but succeeding in…”
20. Do you have a favorite forum you visit?
Clock Crew BBS, bitches!
21. Any fetishes?
Mild fat fetish, but you’d probably never guess it unless I told you.
22. What is the best thing you’ve ever found on eBay?
THOSE FREAKING AUTHENTIC VINTAGE 1960s BELLBOTTOM PANTS, BABY!!!
23. Boxers or briefs?
On me or on a guy? Briefs for me, boxers for a guy.
24. Do you spend more time on MySpace or Facebook?
MySpace, easily.
25. Any favorite series (television, animation, etc.)?
Colin Mochrie vs. Jesus H. Christ is a fucking classic. RAB’s right up there, too.
Hooray!
What remains to be said
Matt, this is a blog for you. Actually, it’s kind of an explanation. After some contemplation on the subject (about four hours), I decided I would make this a blog. Please note that it is a preferred readers only blog, which means four people can see it, and Maggie and yourself (obviously) know what’s going on anyway, and the other two people will not intrude on this, if they even know what we’re talking about.
For the sake of my sanity, I felt the little rant I went on tonight needed to happen. I guess my powers of repression are not as good as I once thought they were. I haven’t been able to talk about the whole situation since it played out, with you or with anyone else, really, so if it sounded like an overdramatic emo-esque rant, that is the reason why. And I’m sorry I had to bring the whole thing up again. I’m just one of those people who needs to mull over things for quite some time before coming to a logical, well thought-out conclusion. Basically what I’m trying to say is that I said what I needed to say to you because a) I needed to say it and b) I thought you deserved to hear it.
Now to the more important part: I probably came across as sounding like I wasn’t sure if I wanted to associate with you anymore. If I did, I want you to know that is completely opposite of what I want. I want to stay friends with you, and I don’t want you to feel like you have to change anything or do anything different around me. I think we had a connection there for a while and I want to keep that. I want to be the friend that you go to first when you have any problems (I think we were to that point for a little bit and if so, I want to maintain that). I like talking with you. I like hanging out with you. I love taking you and Misty to the drag shows and I especially want to continue any form of dirty dancing at said drag shows because I think we both enjoy that a lot (at least I do, plus I don’t think inhibitions or hesitations brought on by extraneous circumstances should exist on the dance floor anyway).
I want things to be the same, if you’re comfortable with it and you think it’s possible.
And I can’t decide whether or not to keep this little bit of divulgence or delete it (I’m typing it up in the hotel, obviously), but I’ll probably keep it.
I hope you don’t mind me blogging this, either.
Okay, that’s all I’ve got.
Party all night!
Dear lord.
I’m writing this down sometime on the bus ride down to Boise. Everyone around me’s asleep and I’ve seemed to have woken up for some unknown reason. So here I go with the blog for yesterday/last night/this morning/right now.
What last night entailed:
~Numa Numa dancing
~Freaking out multiple people inhabiting Ridenbaugh (via Numa Numa dancing)
~Quite a bit of lip-synching to Kansas’ “Carry On Wayward Son”
~My spending a good hour on Flash that led to a good 15 seconds of total animation
~Running around shoeless/shirtless in Ridenbaugh
~Running around shoeless/shirtless outside in the rain
~Making fun of Matt’s snoring
~Holly carp
~George Washington hating Maggie’s music
~Yogi bear, bitch!
~Instant messaging gone wild!
~My love affair with a phonebook
~Giving said phonebook a lap dance or two (or three)
~This masterful work:
“Will you wuv me?”
~The beginnings of what I believe will be a weekend-long struggle with losing my voice
Oh my. That’s all I have to say. Did I miss anything?
Waiter! There’s a Pisces in my Tropic of Capricorn!
Alright Matt, you requested “The Desert,” so I bring it to you here on my blogs in all its glory! I also decided to post it here because it’s been almost exactly two years since I made it.
But first, please take note:
- It’s very, very dirty.
- This is how my mind works when I’m hyped up on sugar.
- This is also how my mind works when I’m hyped up on sugar at 3:00 in the morning.
- No script. This was all pulled out of the air as I went.
- It’s not too clear at the beginning, but the “operation” I’m talking about is my sex change from female to male pumpkin.
- I’m honestly not sure if this is funny for people outside my little high school circle of friends who star in it, but I sure hope it is. Nobody’s really accurately portrayed, anyway.
Enjoy!
The Desert I
The Desert II
The Desert III
The Desert IV
The Desert V
The Desert VI
The Desert VII
The Desert VIII
The Desert IX
The Desert X
The Desert Finale
The Desert Aftermath
Alternate Finale (watch this one after episode ten, then continue on to the aftermath)
Evidence supporting my decision to cease majoring in theatre
Oh, man…this…wow. So I’m sitting here alone today and I decide to dig through all these old tapes of home movies and the like. I find this one labeled “Bomb Shelter Play” which was undoubtedly the one that held on it my having fun in our bomb shelter a few years ago by putting on a play. So I stick it in the VCR, ready to see how bad my acting skills were. Instead, I get an old magic show that my friend and I did back in…hm…it looks like it was from 4th grade or so.
Lemme tell you something—I was having about as much fun as the variola virus in the New World watching this thing. I honestly don’t know how he put up with my evil dictator-like style.
I know none of you care, but I’m going to post this anyway. It’s some of the random crap we did. I don’t know if it was scripted or not (I honestly don’t remember doing this specific magic show; we did about 5 separate ones), but if it wasn’t…damn, that’s even funnier.
Here are several of the names/catchphrases we gave it:
-G.E.’s Magic Show: Things You Can See With Your Own Eyes
-G.E.’s Magic Show: Things You Can See With Your Eyes, But Not With Anything Else (wtf?)
-G.E.’s Magic Show: Things You Can See With Your Eyes…And Things…That You Can’t
-G.E’s Magic Show: Things You Can See…And Things You Can’t
And then there was this whole thing we did when we didn’t know the camera was on (this is me being a jerk):
G.E.: Oh, I got a better idea!
Me: I need a knife.
G.E.: I gotta better idea!
Me: A kitchen knife
G.E.: I got a good idea! I got a good idea!
Me: Hold on! (I leave for a minute or so, and come back in) I got a fork!
G.E.: I got a good idea.
Me: No wait…let’s do this. (I ramble on about my idea)
G.E: But I gotta better idea.
Me: (I ramble a little more)
G.E.: But I’ve still got a better idea.
Me: Oh come on! Let’s just do that—
G.E.: But I’ve got a better idea!
Me: Let’s do that, just come on!
G.E.: I got a good idea, I got a good idea, I got a good idea, I got a good idea, I got a good idea—
Me: Please, please, please, we did your book—
G.E.: I got a good idea!
Me: We did your book thing last.
G.E.: Yeah but we did the we did the….that uh…
Me: That catch thing.
G.E.: Yeah—
Me: And then we did that other thing which was your idea and the first thing which was my idea so we have to do my idea now and then we can do that.
G.E.: And then we can—
Me: And then we can do our homework! Come on! It’s perfect!
G.E.: It’s practically the same—
Me: No, no, come on please just this—
G.E.: I’ll do, I’ll do like “we can do some of that beautiful commercial music!” and then, um, I’ll turn on that music and then you’ll go “SHUT UP!” and you’ll like yaaaaaaaaaa and then you’ll throw the fork and it’ll go twannnnnnnng!
Me: How we gonna do that?
G.E.: I dunno.
Me: You’ll be over here…
G.E.: Oh, I’ve got a good idea!
Etc., etc. I think we didn’t do either of our original ideas.
Here, we attempt a potion sketch.
G.E.: It’s like “oh man, that smells too bad!”
Me: And then I breathe it in and I’m like “awwwww” and then I fart!
G.E.: Yeah!
Me: Phbbbbbbbbt! Um…let’s take a commercial break!
G.E.: I’ll go “phbbbbbbbt!”
Man, I can’t tell if we scripted this or not.
Me: Well finally, get on stage!
G.E.: Uh, here’s the—
Me: This is your magic show, remember?
G.E.: Here’s the trouble!
Me: Oh! Kay!
G.E: Now back to G.E’s Magic Show. Now…
Me: Here’s your script! Read it and…that’s my personal underwear! Let go of it! You’re Stupid!
-“Oh yesterday on the day of 1893 I saw this boy…and he loved me so much!” (G.E. reading from the “script”)
-“Oh black darkness is aware of you!” (Me covering the camera lens)
-“Dear diary: today, our magician took the longest time to get here! He has no point of contact with anything in the real world. Thank you diary for listening to me.” (Me)
-“Look! At! Yourself! You need…a MAKEOVER!” (Me)
Ah, the minds of fourth-graders. Are there any greater things in the world?
I can see where my classmates from elementary school got the material for my ridicule, though, that’s for sure.
Eigenblogger 