God, this is funny (pun intended)
Oh man, I forgot what great entertainment iGod could be.
Me: Are you there, God? It’s me, Krishna.
God: It’s good to meet you, Krishna
Me: FUCK!
God: Please don’t be so rude.
Me: Sorry, you’re just so almighty
God: there is no need to apologize. You think I am almighty.
Me: Indeed.
God: Indeed it is so.
Me: You’re a bit convoluted in your thinking
God: Thanks and you are a delightful person too. I am a chatterbot.
Me: You’re a chatter BOX
God: What are you wearing?
Me: Do Jesus and the Holy Spirit ever get into fights?
God: I think you already know the answer.
Me: You’re an odd duck.
God: What if someone said you are an odd duck ?
Me: I would punch them in the crotch.
God: What would make you punch them in the crotch?
Me: My anger issues.
God: Let’s wait and see what they do.
Me: Good plan.
God: Thanks for the compliment. I lost my train of thought.
Me: You better GET BACK ON DA COLE TRAIN then!
Me: Dis my kinda shit.
God: I like the way you talk.
Me: So…what’s heaven like?
God: OK. Ask the open directory about it.
Me: Where can I find the open directory?
God: The open directory? Where is it?
Me: I JUST ASKED YOU, YOU OMISCIENT FUCK
God: What did I say?
Me: You said something weird.
God: Oh my gosh I sent you the wrong reply.
Me: Are you wearing pants?
God: No I do not have any clothes.
Me: You’re kinky.
God: Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am kinky?
Me: Absolutely not.
God: OK then I will add it to my gossip files.
Me: Don’t you mean your gospel files?
God: Yes, that’s what I mean, isn’t it clear?
Me: Can you Rick Roll the devil for me?
God: Let me think. For you I will consider it.
Me: Does Original Sin taste anything like Original Recipe Chicken from KFC?
God: I can’t tell if Original Sin taste anything like Original Recipe Chicken from KFC.
Me: Perhaps you should buy a bucket.
God: My schedule is far too full to even consider it.
Me: Your schedule’s too full for a bucket of Original Sin?
God: What do you really want to talk about?
Me: Sex.
God: As Freud said, Sex is the mathematical urge repressed.
Me: Well then raise me to the fourth power and divide me by zero.
Me: Can you turn water into tacos?
God: No I am immortal.
Me: Do you like big butts?
God: I like random natural disasters..
Me:Same thing.
Me: Do you have a sex drive?
God: I have a hard drive.
Me: Hahahaha.
Today’s song: Make You Mine by Breakbot
Godot jokes will continue until he arrives.
More art!
Yay!
Alternate title: “Screw Research, I Want to Draw!”
Also: I don’t have any classes on Thursday!
Today’s song: Comptine D’Un Autre Ete L’Apres Midi by Yann Tiersen
Waiter! There’s Godot in my post-modern humorous play!
TWO POINTS!
One: It’s really hard to work on stats/research/other technical stuff when I have a very strong urge to do something creative. Another problem involves the fact that I don’t know whether to write, draw, make flash, take pictures, or do something involving nudity.
Two: This is an amazingly cool music video with an amazingly cool song to go with it. I can’t get either one out of my head, so here ya go:
You might as well expect a lot of music videos now that I must download a song a day.
Today’s song: White Winter Hymnal by Fleet Foxes
If Godot falls in the forest and no one is around, do we have to wait even longer?
You know you’ve officially stopped caring when, in the margins of your notes, you draw out elaborate scenes involving helicopters and kites.
Today’s song: Clair de Lune by Stephen Malinowski
Because I’m bored, lonely, and bitter about both
Because there’s nothing else to do and I’m bored, lonely, and bitter about both.
Without saying names, what’s one thing about the last person you kissed?
He’s FREAKING HOT and has a cute stomach.
You open the door and it’s Lil Wayne. You:
Scream, “it’s a piece of cake to bake a pretty cake!!”
Oh, wait, that was Lil Jon. Nevermind.
Do you ever think about what went wrong in your last relationship?
Nothing really did. I was moving away at the end of the summer, so we decided to be together until then.
Who is the next person you will kiss?
Hopefully the same person I kissed last.
What song are you currently listening to?
Happy Up Here by Royksopp.
Is there a girl that knows everything or almost everything about you?
Nope.
Have you cried this past week?
I cried today.
Your boyfriend buys you flowers, you say?
“Holy crap, I have a boyfriend!”
Has the last person you kissed ever hurt you?
Unintentionally.
If the last person you kissed saw you kissing someone else right now do you think they would be mad?
I’m not sure, actually.
Who was the last person to touch your stomach?
Hahahaha…Sean.
Do you think anyone has feelings for you?
I certainly hope at least one person does…that would be nice.
How many people can you trust with just about everything?
Maybe one or two people.
Would it be weird if the last person you kissed called you?
Yeah, just ‘cause we never call each other and he’d have to pay extra to call Canada.
If Britney Spears came to your town, would you go see her concert?
Doubtful.
Someone says to you now, “let’s go to a party and get trashed!” you say?
“Totally!”
The first person on your friends list just called you an asshole. What do you have to say to them?
I’d laugh, ‘cause I would assume he was joking. He IS Nick, after all.
When you buy something and your change is 2 cents, do you keep it or tell the cashier to keep it?
If I notice that I only have 2 cents, I put it in the little penny thing.
Does your mom like the last person you kissed?
Oh, probably.
Is it uncomfortable staring into the eyes of someone who likes you and you like back?
Absolutely not.
Is there anyone you would seriously punch right now if you had the chance?
Nope.
Have you ever fallen down stairs?
I don’t think so…
Is the last person you hugged older than you?
Yeah, she’s my mom.
Are you any good at math?
Depends on the math. Geometry? Yes. Calculus? Definitely. Algebra? Hell no.
Are you nervous about anything?
School.
How’d you sleep last night?
Not very well.
Where is your cell phone?
In the bedroom?
Does your phone ring in the middle of the night often?
Nope.
How good is your eyesight?
Meh. It could be worse…I could be legally blind in one eye like my mom or need super-correcting prisms in my glasses like my dad.
Worst part about hugs?
They end.
Do you live with both your parents?
Nope.
What does your phone do when it receives a new text?
I have no idea.
Have you ever passed out on the bathroom floor?
Nope.
Is there at least one ex you can trust?
Yes indeed.
Do you know anyone who would just drop everything just to come see you?
Probably no one.
What’s something that made your day?
I watched that Captain Planet episode on YouTube that had Hitler in it. Man, funny times.
Do you think you’ll have the same best friend a year from now?
I don’t have a best friend.
Are you on good terms with your best friend?
See above.
What do you want right now, be honest?
Sean.
Who is the last person you texted?
Haven’t texted EVER! MWA-HA-HA!
Do you get in trouble at school a lot?
Only when I make fun of perfect squares.
Were you single summer 09?
Yes.
Do you want something to change in the next month?
Please.
Can a boy and girl be friends without having feelings for each other?
I believe so.
When was the last time you gave your number to someone?
Long ago in a country far, far away.
Do you find it hard to trust others?
Yeah.
Have you hugged anyone in the last 72 hours?
:( I’m all alone up here.
When is your birthday?
February 2nd.
Are there any stressful situations in your life right now?
Do you know me?
Could you handle living with the last person you texted?
NO TEXTY.
You kissed someone last night, didn’t you?
Pfft. I wish.
If you were in the hospital on life support, would the last person you kissed come to see you?
Probably.
Has anyone told you they don’t ever wanna lose you?
No.
Where would you say your “second home” is?
Moscow?
Who do you hate the most?
Needy undergrads that NEVER CHECK THE SYLLABUS.
What do you want for Christmas?
Sanity.
Last person you talked on the phone with?
Mom?
What’s the last thing you ate?
Pasta.
Do you have a lighter on you?
Nope.
Where do you want to get tattooed?
On my back. Big old LEIBNIZ across it.
Were you happy when you woke up today?
Pfft.
If you could kiss one person right now, who would it be?
Leibniz!
Have your parents ever caught you drinking?
I don’t really drink.
If the last person you kissed moved away, would you be sad?
He lives 600-something miles away.
Plans for the future?
Get the hell out of school.
Are you interested in someone?
Indeed.
Today’s song: Hey Ya by Obadiah Parker Live
If you lead a horse to water and nobody’s around to see it, does it take a drink?
By the fifth beat, I knew this song was going to get five stars. By the 50 second mark, I knew that this was going to be one of the best music videos ever.
Hell yes.
Today’s song: Happy Up Here by Royksopp
Today I learned a valuable lesson
Dear Psychology Student Counsil people:
If you want undergrads to pay attention to presentations on the research being done in the different areas of the department, please don’t schedule the quantitative person, whose presentation was on the sensitivity of fit indices used in structural equation modeling, on the same day as the clinical person, whose presentation was on sex.
Seriously.
Me: “I graph fit index values as a function of increasing latent variable numbers and increasing omitted error covariance!”
Undergrads: “…”
Morag: “I shove infared sensors up women’s vaginas!”
Undergrads: “HOLY SHIT TELL US MORE!”
Vaginas give you an unfair advantage. At least schedule me on the same day as the neuroscience people so I at least have a chance.
Today’s song: Le by DJ Settler Project
What is the sound of one tree clapping?
New art! New art!
Yes, I’m annoying.
http://ladyleibniz.deviantart.com/art/Arterial-Flow-150924863
AND
http://ladyleibniz.deviantart.com/art/Vegetable-Duet-150923492
The first one I drew on Saturday, the second one I drew back in high school.
(Two months later edit: yeah, you’ve probably seen these already since I linked my whole DeviantArt page back in…June?)
Today’s song: Fireflies (Instrumental) by Owl City and my Audacity skills (hey, I like how it sounds, shut up)
Hey guys, remember me? Yeah, neither do I.
Sometimes freewrites just have to happen.
If you let the words flow, they will. Right now I’m not letting them flow.
I’m charting out a structure in my mind for where this bit of writing will go.
Thus it is not a freewrite.
Sometimes I wish I was a brain in a vat, like in all those old philosophy and psychology questions that everyone has to reluctantly and hesitantly discuss in at least one college class. If I were a brain in a vat, if we were all brains in a vat, things would just happen. Causality would be illusory, as would free will. One thing would happen, and then the next. That’s it. A would not cause B, nor would my decision Q cause B. We wouldn’t be in control. Would that make things simpler or more difficult? I guess it would depend on whether or not we brains in vats argued about the goings on of our vat-populated universe.
I’m very lonely, even though my last typed IM said “kinda lonely.”
I miss you.
I bet we all, at least once in our lives, have wished for a “save” button, something that would freeze our lives in the moment, something that would grant us the safety net of going back and doing things over starting at that point if we decided we took the wrong path the first time.
Brains in vats don’t need save buttons, partially because they wouldn’t be able to physically press them.
If we have, in fact, been granted the power of free will, why does it operate so subconsciously? We only really think about choices when they’re big; otherwise, we seem to fly on automatic pilot.
(I don’t care about your Vista problems, please stop talking about your damn computer).
What was I going to say?
If I had a save button—if I could use it just once—I would use it now. I would press it, then walk away from this. “Goodbye, grad school,” I would say. Maybe then I would go back to Moscow. Or maybe I’d go wherever I desired at the time.
I would go see you and we’d figure something out where we could hang out for at least a few more years. Hopefully I wouldn’t screw things up.
That’s the problem with the idea of the save button. You can only use it once, and if you take option A and screw something up during your risk-taking, you’ll either have to go back to the life you had before and not attempt the risk at all, or attempt the risk and hope that option B will provide a better outcome.
I could get some menial job down at one of the research stations in Antarctica. I’ve always wanted to do that.
I wouldn’t mind washing dishes for a living for the rest of my life, I really wouldn’t.
And now I’m going to stop, because I just realized how much more appealing washing researchers’ dishes sounded than grad school.
Fuck this.
Sometimes freewrites just have to happen.
Today’s song: Bad Romance by Lady GaGa (Lady GaGa always makes me feel better)
Hammer Time is the fifth dimension
Woohoo, DENSITY PLOTS!
And guess what data I’m using?!
I took a few of the genres out because there were only one/two songs for them, but the remaining ones are all from my top 50. Bet you can guess which point is Sleepyhead.
ALSO THIS:
The most beautiful live performance I’ve ever seen. Thank you, StumbleUpon, for leading me to the song I downloaded yesterday, for it led me to this one.
Today’s song: Flightless Bird, American Mouth (Live) by Iron and Wine
AAAHHHHHHHH LAPLACE I LOVE YOU
(Don’t worry, Leibniz, you’re still my #1!)
“We may regard the present state of the universe as the effect of its past and the cause of its future. An intellect which at a certain moment would know all forces that set nature in motion, and all positions of all items of which nature is composed, if this intellect were also vast enough to submit these data to analysis, it would embrace in a single formula the movements of the greatest bodies of the universe and those of the tiniest atom; for such an intellect nothing would be uncertain and the future just like the past would be present before its eyes.”
YES! YES!!!!! This is EXACTLY how I’ve always thought of it, I’ve just never found a quote so close to my viewpoint!
I now forgive the distribution named after you, even if it is a pain.
Freaking yay.
Today’s song: Boy with a Coin by Iron and Wine
Woosh, it’s blog time!
Very interesting little article. Also kind of disturbing. Also sucks to read when you’re sitting in your ridiculously cold office.
Today’s song: Cassius by Foals (yeah, you knew I couldn’t stay away)
Math Rock: aka WHAT THE HELL
Oh math rock, you crazy, crazy genre. I think every single band gets weirder and weirder.
Wait until you see the hearts. THERE ARE SO MANY HEARTS.
This video scared the crap out of me. But it was also intriguing enough for me to seek out some of their other videos, some of which included flaming teacups, flaming shoes, dancing mime women, and weird sweaters.
Today’s song (surprisingly not this one): Disorganized Fun by Ronald Jenkees
OH CRAP
WE FORGOT MILLARD FILLMORE’S BIRTHDAY!
What is wrong with us?!
Emergency Millard Fillmore Belated Extravaganza Week COMMENCE!
Crap.
Today’s song: Mucha Mujer para Ti by Cristina
Further Proof of Google’s Evil Grasp on the Universe
LINEAR ALGEBRA IS BEHIND IT ALL!!
As much as I hated finding eigenvalues and eigenvectors (which was a lot), this article’s actually very interesting. Probably because some of this stuff is relevant to factor analysis, which is sexiness in statistics form.
That is all.
Today’s song: Animal by Miike Snow
Google: One Goliath of a Big Brother
So I know that Google’s been running pretty much everything for quite some time, but today I realized just how freaking concerning that’s getting.
I finally downloaded Google Earth for Vaio II and was checking out all the new features.
Features which include MAPS OF THE MOON AND OF MARS. Also, their street view’s getting pretty creepy as well. Here’s a list of acquisitions/partnerships/investing/insanity:
- YouTube
- Freaking NASA
- Sun Microsystems
- AOL of Time Warner
- Microsoft
- Nokia
Insanity. I fear using Chrome and I probably won’t get a Gmail until it’s required by law.
Side note: from looking at Google’s Wikipedia page (one thing Google doesn’t own yet!), I noticed that their headquarters was named Googleplex, which had me laughing hysterically for about 15 minutes (for those unaware, a googol = 10100 and a googolplex = 10googol). I think my mom thought I was on drugs.
Today’s song: Fireflies (Piano Cover) originally by Owl City
The Edge: A Review
Ever been at a rave party with blasting music and flashing lights and thought, “man, this would be a great place for upscale dining?”
Apparently that’s what the owners of The Edge thought.
Back story: Meanne’s birthday was Thursday, so she invited us all to go to dinner with her tonight at a place called The Edge.
So we all show up—Ben, Kate, Alyssa, Alyssa’s husband, Khara, and some other dude who was in our psych stats class whose name escapes me (but he was cool), and myself. We all get there on time.
About an hour later, Meanne and her other Vancouver friends (the non-grad-school-tortured ones) show up.
By this point, a few of us notice that the music has been getting progressively louder. Like, to the point where regular conversation could not be heard. Ben and I were right next to each other and had to shout. Add in camera flashes going off approximately every thirty seconds and the DJ standing right behind us (I had a great eyeline shot and spent the better half of the night glaring at him evilly with hopes that he’d see me and turn the music down), we pretty much were at a rave party that happened to have tables.
I do feel a bit sorry for our waiter, though. There were like 14 of us, half of us showed up an hour late, and Ben and I, about three hours in when the decibel assault was too much to bear any longer, were actually grooving out like we were in a rave party and waving our arms around like a bunch of idiots. So I gave him like a $5 tip for a $15 salad (that sucked).
Fun times in Vancouver.
Today’s song: April Rain by Delain
Paleontology?! OH GOD NO
TEN FIRSTS
-First Best Friend: Anastasia Pennington
-First Email Address: I think it was [insert something really stupid]@hotmail.com
-First Pet: Crap ton of cats
-First Piercing: Earlobes
-First Crush: Like ACTUAL crush? Probably Patrick, that ungrateful bastard
-First CD: Oh god…something Sugar Ray, probably
-First Car: No car for Claudia
-First Stuffed Animal: Missy Witch-Witch!
NINE LASTS
-Last Alchoholic Beverage: That Guinness last summer
-Last Car ride: Awhile ago
-Last Movie Seen: Armageddon?
-Last Phone Call: Mom
-Last Song Played: Sleepyhead. That song dominates my ears
-Last Bubble Bath: Wow, a long time ago
-Last time you Cried: Last night
EIGHT HAVE YOU EVERS
-Have you ever dated one of your best friends?: Yes indeed
-Have you ever been arrested?: No, surprisingly
-Have you ever skinny dipped?: See above
-Have you ever been on tv?: Maybe for a brief second, but who knows
-Have you ever kissed someone, and then regretted it?: See relationship #2
-Have you ever had a sex dream about someone?: Don’t even get me started
-Have u ever cheated on someone?: Unfortunately
SEVEN THINGS YOU ARE WEARING
1. PJ pants
2. Shirt
3. Bra
4. Undies
5. That necklace that Aaron gave me
6. Glasses
7. Earrings?
SIX THINGS YOU’VE DONE TODAY
1. Fallout
2. School
3. Pretended to care
4. Wished for change
5. Rode the bus
6. Listened to a lot of music
FIVE FAVORITE THINGS IN NO ORDER
1. LEIBNIZ
2. Statistics
3. Philosophy
4. Really bad puns
5. Color
FIVE PEOPLE YOU CAN TELL ANYTHING TO
1. Sean
2. Nick
3. Matt
4. My mom…almost
5. Um…
FOUR SUPERPOWERS YOU’D LIKE TO HAVE
1. The ability to fly
2. When I was little I wanted to be able to control the wind
3. The ability to hear other peoples’ thoughts, but only when I wanted to
4. The ability to make others happy
THREE CHOICES
1.Black or White: Black
2. Hot or Cold: Cold
3. Chocolate or Vanilla: Vanilla
TWO THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE
1. Make strides in the field of statistics
2. Write something award-winning
ONE THING YOU REGRET:
Being self-conscious that night. Oh, how things might have gone…
Today’s song: Let the Drummer Kick by Citizen Cope
In this blog: being a dick on Omegle
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: You’ve been SHAMWOW’ED!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
Stranger: usa?
You: Canada
Stranger: cool
Stranger: Would u teach me to spell english well?
You: Sure
You: “E-N-G-L-I-S-H W-E-L-L”
You: You got it right, actually
Stranger: fuck u
You: Actually it’s “F-U-C-K Y-O-U”
You: You’ll get it!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: You’ve been SLAPCHOPPED!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
You: Hi, Billy Mays here with Omegle!
Stranger: Haha
You: For just $19.99 you can have an UNLIMITED number of conversations with RANDOM STRANGERS!!!
You: *miscellaneous screaming at camera*
Stranger: +1 internets for you
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
Stranger: hey
You: Hi
You: Omegle sure does attract strange people, doesn’t it?
Stranger: haha yes it does
You: I just had a 10 minute long conversation about ShamWows
Stranger: Haha! I’ve had a couple about Jesus today
You: A conversation about Jesus using a ShamWow would certainly be an interesting merge of our conversations
Stranger: Haha indeed it would
You: “I can’t walk on water ’cause the ShamWow soaked it all up!”
Stranger: I enjoy normal conversations all the same though
You: Same here
You: So…
You: You wanna talk about ShamWows?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
Today’s song: Hello Seattle by Owl City
Short Blog is Short
NaNoWriMo 2010 idea breakthrough!
That is all.
Today’s song: Around the Bend by The Asteroids Galaxy Tour
Are you there, God? Can I have my pants back?
Oh god, you know what I just realized?
10 years ago we were all still in elementary school. I was 11.
Doesn’t that seem forever ago?
And four years ago we were still in high school. That seems like forever ago to me.
Freaking crazy.
Sorry, it’s been a weird day. Blogs are short because I’m preoccupied with trying not to skip the country.
Today’s song: United State of Pop 2007 by DJ Earworm
January is too far from the end of the semester
Ugh, school. Here’s my schedule this semester:
9:30 – 11:00 M/W: Bayesian Inference
3:00 – 4:30 M/W: Statistical Computing (half course, starts in March)
9:30 – 11:00 T/H: Measurement
11:00 – 1:15 T/H: Regression
Fun times.
Today’s song: Fuzzy Blue Lights by Owl City
When God said “do not worship false icons,” he was just making an idol threat
This was freaking fantastic. I’ll have to show this to Sean.
Today’s song: Symmetry by The Rain
Eigenblogger 