This just in: Cap’n Crunch promoted to Adm’ral
Cereal mascots have always fascinated me. Many of them are poor, deprived souls who just want to try the product they endorse (but are prevented by kids, circumstance, sugary villains, etc.). Others most certainly have mental issues brought on by the cereal they consume (a certain bird who really enjoys cocoa comes to mind).
And then there’s Cap’n Crunch.
First off, his full name is Captain Horatio Magellan Crunch, which is about as awesome as a name can get for a guy with no neck, a freakish cereal fetish, and who has been stuck at the rank of “Cap’n” for god knows how long.
Don’t get me started on the commercials. Says Wikipedia, “In modern TV ads, Cap’n Crunch is often seen riding his ship through a wall as the whistle blares.”
Sooo…Kool-Aid Man of the sea?
And: “He often comes in the middle of a predicament and uses his cereal to solve the problem at hand by ‘Crunch-a-tizing’ it.”
What I wouldn’t give to have that power.
Lab manager: Oh crap, SPSS is being a bitch (again) and we can’t get these analyses done!
Lab member: Our assignment is due in three hours! What are we to do?!
Me: *breaks down Kenny wall in a ship*
Lab manager: What the hell…?
Me: CRRRRRRUNCHATIZE!
Me: Join me for some high-sea, high-fructose fun!
Lab member: How would that possibly solve our problem?
Me: Cap’n’s orders!
*dumps cereal everywhere*
Lab manager: I doubt you’re a licensed mariner.
Lab member: Where did you get all this cereal?
Me: Set sail for dairy goodness!
*unleashes gallons of milk*
Lab manager: You destroyed my laptop!
Me: OOPS! All Berries!
Etc.
Yeah. I think he’s cool.
Today’s song: The Scientist by Coldplay
Admiral Ackbar should have worked for the Victor company
Life is weird.
Weird, weird, weird.
It’s even weirder when I try to cook and actually succeed in making something edible. I know it’s nothing too original, but I’d prefer semi-blasé over burning the house down. The stove in the basement here scares me.
Spinach scrambled eggs!
You will need:
- ¼ cup frozen chopped spinach
- 2 egg whites
- 1 tbsp. mozzarella
Dump the spinach in a pan and cook it. Add the egg whites and scramble to desired moistness. Remove from heat and add cheese. Tasty!
Shut up, it’s a slow day. And my butt hurts because my bike seat tried to surprise buttsex me this afternoon on the way back from Pullman.
Today’s song: Devil Eyes by Qua
The Edge: A Review
Ever been at a rave party with blasting music and flashing lights and thought, “man, this would be a great place for upscale dining?”
Apparently that’s what the owners of The Edge thought.
Back story: Meanne’s birthday was Thursday, so she invited us all to go to dinner with her tonight at a place called The Edge.
So we all show up—Ben, Kate, Alyssa, Alyssa’s husband, Khara, and some other dude who was in our psych stats class whose name escapes me (but he was cool), and myself. We all get there on time.
About an hour later, Meanne and her other Vancouver friends (the non-grad-school-tortured ones) show up.
By this point, a few of us notice that the music has been getting progressively louder. Like, to the point where regular conversation could not be heard. Ben and I were right next to each other and had to shout. Add in camera flashes going off approximately every thirty seconds and the DJ standing right behind us (I had a great eyeline shot and spent the better half of the night glaring at him evilly with hopes that he’d see me and turn the music down), we pretty much were at a rave party that happened to have tables.
I do feel a bit sorry for our waiter, though. There were like 14 of us, half of us showed up an hour late, and Ben and I, about three hours in when the decibel assault was too much to bear any longer, were actually grooving out like we were in a rave party and waving our arms around like a bunch of idiots. So I gave him like a $5 tip for a $15 salad (that sucked).
Fun times in Vancouver.
Today’s song: April Rain by Delain
WHY MUST CHEESE BE SO DELICIOUS WHY
I just found the best cheddar cheese on the planet: Original Bothwell’s mild cheddar. This is honestly the best cheese I’ve ever tasted. I think they should change the back label to “Ideal for French onion soup, fondues, scallop potatoes, omelettes and other gourmet dishes—OR JUST EAT IT OUT OF THE BAG ‘CAUSE IT’S FREAKING AMAZING.”
Yeah.
Also, screw fellowship applications.
Chez.
You know what’s really good like once a decade?
American cheese. On its own.
I bought one of those packages of 10 singles and am in love. It’s one of those things that, if you have it rarely enough, it tastes freaking amazing. Sure, it’ll make you feel nauseous for like an hour afterwards (I mean, come on, it’s plastic), but while you’re eating it, it’s awesome.
That is all.
It’s a Vast Dessert Conspiracy!
OH MY GOD.
This hadn’t even crossed my mind. This hadn’t even entered my thought processes even remotely, even after listening to Brian Regan’s rant on Fig Newtons today.
Freaking go here and read the comments if at first you don’t get it (I didn’t).
Choco LEIBNIZ.
Fig NEWTONS.
Can it possibly be that the two great, independent inventors of calculus are both represented in tasty dessert form?
Answer: YES!
Fig Newtons were indeed named after good ol’ Isaac, who, according to Wikipedia, “liked figs” (not nearly as entertaining a story as the one behind Choco Leibniz, but interesting nonetheless).
What’s even freakier is the fact that both cookies were developed independently of each other in the SAME FREAKING YEAR (1891).
I think the one and only way to resolve the “who invented calculus first” debate is to find out once and for all whose tasty delight was created first. Unfortunately, the Fig Newtons website is entirely uninformative, and Bahlsen’s website (the company that makes the Chocos), while delightfully entertaining due to their obvious knowledge of Flash, has nothing informative, either.
So I guess the debate can’t be solved. At least by me tonight.
But wow…that’s really funny, don’t you think?
Choco Leibniz: The Best of All Possible Cookies
And if any of you get that joke, freaking congratulations, ’cause no one else has gotten it yet, save Sean.
Holy crap, you guys, you’ll never guess what I found!
So as a break from the insanity that is my Spring Break (at least it’s winding down a little, I think), my mom and I went up to Spokane for the day. Whenever we go to Spokane we make sure to visit Auntie’s bookstore, mainly because it actually has a good selection of books (unlike Hastings) and because you can actually buy things from there (unlike the library, to whom I apparently owe $161, but more on that later).
Today I had the pleasure of finding the book Calculus Wars, which basically describes the entirety of Newton’s and Leibniz’s feud over which one of them first invented* calculus. The fact that I’m reading a book about calculus proves how into Leibniz I really am, people.
But this isn’t the big thing of the day. I thought to myself when I got home, “you need to get some books on Leibniz, woman!” So I got online (Amazon.com), and typed in “Leibniz.”
This is what I found. This was like the fourth item down:
OMG!!
I am so incredibly amazed. I want these cookies. Like, now. I will do anything for these cookies.
In fact, I was so enthralled that I looked them up on Wikipedia. This is what I read:
“The brand name Leibniz comes from the philosopher and mathematician Gottfried Wilhelm Leibniz. The only connection between man and biscuit is that Leibniz was one of the more famous residents of Hanover, where the company is based. At the time when the biscuit was first made, there was a fashion for arbitrarily naming products after famous people.”
Dear god, that is funny. I’m so getting my hands on these cookies.
And I could make so many jokes about them with regards to Leibniz’ philosophy, you don’t even want to know.
*Now here’s a thing I’m wondering: they use the verb invented to describe the introduction of the use of calculus. If mathematics (specifically, calculus) is a tool for understanding the universe, if it is the key that we have for unlocking all understanding of all things, why do they say we invented it? Shouldn’t they say, if math indeed explains the fundamental workings of all we could possibly need to understand, that we discovered it, since a tool that explains how things work should already exist and not have to be invented, just discovered? Just a thought…
I’ve been waiting years for this
Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the statistically perfect pack of M&Ms!
How is it statistically perfect, you ask? Well, if you take a look at Mars’ website, you can find the percentage of all M&Ms that each color represents. 30% of all M&Ms are brown, red and yellow both make up 20%, and orange, green and blue each make up 10%. Therefore, in a bag of 23 M&Ms, we would have seven brown, five red, five yellow, two orange, two green, and two blue. For a perfect example of this, see above photo.
My day has just been made.
(And yes, I know this boosts my dork level to even higher levels; I don’t care!)
A Dutch man once touched an electrically charged French Petri dish. It was a culture shock.
Man, working in a fast food place for a while sure makes it obvious (or even more blatantly apparent, in this case) when other fast food places are giving you adequate service or really poor service.
Okay, so tonight Nick, being Nick, calls me up at about 10 at night saying that he was hungry and lonely and he wanted me to walk to McDonald’s with him.
Keep in mind I’m not getting anything, so I’m watching this whole process. We get there and there are no people waiting. We stand there for about three minutes before one of the female employees finally comes up to the front with this look of absolute annoyance on her face. The whole time Nick’s ordering she’s just glaring at him. It’s rule number 1 when you’re working the front: smile and act friendly towards the customer. Do not try to kill them with your eyes.
Just as he’s finished ordering a whole horde of people come through the doors, so we step back and wait, assuming that it will only be a minute or so. Well apparently, they didn’t have fries down when we got there (that’s another major rule—ALWAYS have fries down) so they had to put in a new batch in the fryer.
When she is finished taking orders (which were taken with the same evil glares she were giving Nick), she starts putting their orders together. By this point the fries are done (ding, fries are done, ding, fries are done!), but she seems to not be able to hear the buzzer (how, I don’t know) because she goes on doing whatever she’s doing for the other orders for about another minute (which is a long time for fries to be in the fryer past the time limit). Then, when she finally gets them out, she fills all the orders before Nick’s (even though they were after us), emptying all the fries out so that we have to wait EVEN LONGER to get ours!
It was frustrating. But Nick was totally clueless, so it was kind of amusing at the same time.
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