So today was supposed to be a good day. I was supposed to go to the Faculty of Science awards ceremony and get my TA award thingy and everything was supposed to be great.
But instead I had a panic attack.
I’m calmer now (obviously; can’t write a blog in the middle of a panic attack), but I’m sitting in my office with a really bad headache and a really high degree of self-hatred. I mean, I’m never too thrilled with myself, but it’s been awhile since I’ve just felt so damn worthless.
What the heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeell.
Alright, so Dr. Chen had our grades in for 701 last week. I got a B+, which is certainly not stellar by any means. However, the fact that it’s a B+ and not an A- (or maybe even an A) is most likely due to my low score on the first midterm. Why did I get a low score on the first midterm? Because I’m me and I panicked on it, which caused me to make a really dumb mistake on a question I knew how to do. I was able to catch the mistake and fix it during the test, but doing so cost me so much time that I was unable to even answer one of the other two questions, which got me a super low score on that third of the test.
But we’re not here to talk about 701.
We’re here to talk about 601, the class that I was really worried about. Up here we need a B- to “pass” a class* but are only allowed to have two B- grades every two semesters. So really we all want B’s or better. Calculating my grade before the project, I pretty much needed a perfect score on said project to get a B overall. And even though I was feeling fairly confident about the project after I’d finished it last week, I figured there was no way in hell I’d gotten a perfect score.
So I checked my grade today and somehow I pulled off an A- in 601. As you might expect, I’m pretty pleasantly shocked. He must have really curved things at the end. Either that or my presentation ROCKED HIS SOCKS.
But I’m guessing he just really curved things at the end.
Either way, though, I’m relieved. I was really worried throughout this semester that I’d do so poorly that they’d kick me out. Seriously. I’m the only** statistics student from the United States, too. Gotta represent!
*A note for my American readers out there (which I think is almost everyone): Canada grades are different than US grades in the sense that for us US people, a B is equivalent to a grade anywhere from 80% to 89% (at least in most cases). Here it varies slightly by class, but a B in 601 is a grade anywhere from 76% to 79.5%. That may make it sound “easier” to get a B, but compared to US grading, they’re quite a bit tougher up here. Both UWO and UBC were like that, too.
**I definitely know I’m the only incoming US stats student, and I’m pretty sure I’m the only US stats student in the entire department right now, too.
Yaaaaay, my mom is here! Actually, she got here yesterday but it was late and she was tired but I had a minor mental breakdown and we ended up going to Denny’s at 11 PM and then drove around Stanley Park for another hour before we went home and crashed after M&Ms.
(Run on sentences make me look cool, yo.)
Today I unfortunately have a lot of school-related crap work to do today, but tomorrow we’re both taking the day off and screwing around. I’m taking her to Metropolis, a mall that could swallow about 30 Palouse Malls (not kidding) so we can take our minds off of our current situations, both of which suck.
I freaking love my mom, this is going to be awesome.
This week’s been like one long anxiety attack. I think my brain’s in one of those “I’m gonna spaz out for no reason” modes that involves near constant déjà vu-like experiences and a lot of general panic. Hooray. Hope this stops before BOSTON TIME!
I also had an extremely strange dream involving Matt, Maggie, Rebeca, and myself that centered around a large gym, a towel over which Matt was strangely possessive, an air vent, a promised orgy inside said air vent, and a lot of jealously/private making out. Matt was angry the whole dream, Maggie was on tranquilizers or something. It was…weird.
Also, read Lolita.
Today’s song: Overkill by Colin Hay