I’m tired of this monotonous charade!
I’m going to get a taco!
Waiter! There’s an Ethiopia on Djibouti!
It’s the weekend. Time for pondering!
Questions for said pondering:
1. Why do I have twelve spoons in my dorm room? (I don’t ever use spoons!)
2. What’s up with these summer sandals having friggin’ HEELS on them? (It’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever seen!)
3. Why do all the teeth on the right side of my mouth hurt?
4. I saw the most disturbing advertisement today—what is a “Hop on Cock” éclair? And why do I now want one?
5. Why is a raven like a writing desk?
6. Why is being a virgin portrayed as a curse in our society (in other words, why is being a slut portrayed as the epitome of awesomeness?)?
7. What do YOU see in the inkblot?
And finally…
8. What’s your favorite thing about me? Seriously. This is important for my egotism self-esteem.
My MySpace gets a facelift (about time!)
Why, hello there, people! Since I’ve finally been able to update my blogs, I figured why not go the whole way with a slightly new layout and a new bio section. I think it’s better. Therefore, you think it’s better.
I’m in your heads, all of you.
…
Get your minds out of the gutter!
Waiter! There’s an…aw, screw it, can I just get some pasta?
Haha, I’m so cruel. Poor Nick. This was at about 3 in the morning, mind you. He’s “Apathy,” I’m “The Roof.”
Who cares about apathy? says: will you help me get my english done, please? i’m so damn tired…
The Roof, The Roof, The Roof Appears to Have Spontaneously Combusted! says: Okay
Who cares about apathy? says: what’s “allegory?”
The Roof, The Roof, The Roof Appears to Have Spontaneously Combusted! says: Al Gore’s evil twin.
Who cares about apathy? says: shut up
The Roof, The Roof, The Roof Appears to Have Spontaneously Combusted! says: Seriously.
The Roof, The Roof, The Roof Appears to Have Spontaneously Combusted! says: He thinks global warming is a myth and felt that the 2000 election was entirely unfixed.
Who cares about apathy? says: lol
Who cares about apathy? says: you amuse me so
The Roof, The Roof, The Roof Appears to Have Spontaneously Combusted! says: I know :P
Who cares about apathy? says: i’m so tired i can’t think
Who cares about apathy? says: can’t get it done
The Roof, The Roof, The Roof Appears to Have Spontaneously Combusted! says: Oh, yes you can
The Roof, The Roof, The Roof Appears to Have Spontaneously Combusted! says: You’re smart as a whip
Who cares about apathy? says: come now, you know how i detest clichés
The Roof, The Roof, The Roof Appears to Have Spontaneously Combusted! says: Whatever floats your boat
Then later,
Who cares about apathy? says: oh gross
The Roof, The Roof, The Roof Appears to Have Spontaneously Combusted! says: What?
Who cares about apathy? says: i have a big bunion on my toe
The Roof, The Roof, The Roof Appears to Have Spontaneously Combusted! says: Why must you tell me this?
Who cares about apathy? says: lol
Who cares about apathy? says: what should i do with it?
The Roof, The Roof, The Roof Appears to Have Spontaneously Combusted! says: Name it “Paul”
Needless to say, he didn’t get his English finished in time, and I don’t know if he named the bunion Paul. And he’d probably hurt me if he knew I was posting this, but I don’t care! I’m trying to convince him to get a MySpace so I can bug him here as well.
Blog 339: in which I partake in an old fashioned interpretation of my dreams (Freudian style!)
So here we go: since I’m reading Freud’s “Interpretation of Dreams,” I’ve decided to take several dreams I’ve had over the past few days (ones that I had written down the morning after) and analyze them using Freud’s methods. I must say, a lot was explained:
Dream #1: “I was dreaming of the way I think—that is, I was looking at something which resembled ideas and thoughts crisscrossing and passing through a synapse in my brain…the words (intelligible) were colored various neon—yellow, pink, blue, green—and were swiftly shooting across the black synapse on dotted tracks. Then I thought of the phrase “orchestrated chaos” in response to how the mind works, and then went on to try to justify (or fail to justify) this idea. I went on to think that if one uses the concept of an orchestra, one must assume that there is a conductor present—a god figure. I do not believe this is so, but I could not, in the dream, think of another concept/idea to define the way the mind works.”
According to Freud, the material for dreams arises solely from experiences of the day prior. In other words, no matter what is in your dream, it has come from something you thought about/experienced/were reminded of the day before.
“passing through a synapse in my brain”
This probably comes from a discussion I had with Nick over MSN Messenger regarding his psychology 101 homework—the reading involving how the brain sends messages from one neuron to the next. Of course, we’d had this discussion a few weeks ago. However, I was looking through my conversation history last night before I went to bed, and I came across this conversation. Boom! Explanation.
“I thought of the phrase ‘orchestrated chaos'”
I think this leads back to my on psychology class. On the day before spring break, we watched a video on personality and how it develops over ones lifetime. The video used the analogy of an orchestra, showing at different stages a child conductor, a teen conductor, and an adult conductor. I remember thinking at the time the phrase “orchestrated chaos” as the phrase to explain early personality. Yesterday in band, as we were playing, the phrase came to me again. And that’s what reminded me of it.
“a god figure.”
This one’s simple: discussions today in Core about the origin of the world and the presence (or lack thereof) of a god.
Dream #2: “I was upstairs in my parent’s house, and I remember feeling like I was going out of my mind. I was throwing all these papers around and was flipping all these tables over. I was screaming at my mom, all the while thinking, ‘it doesn’t matter what I do—I’m insane!’ Eventually, I ran upstairs and hid under the bathtub. I was afraid that I had scared my kitten, Annabelle.”
“and was flipping all these tables over”
This is probably the most interesting link. I had to think about it for a little while to figure out where this came from. Then it hit me: The Simpsons. That night I was watching The Simpsons on TV and it was the episode in which the family is put on a reality TV show. Anyway, near the end, the abandoned Simpsons and other castaway reality TV stars rebelled against the cameramen, destroying their campsite and flipping over tables. I found it very strange that I dreamt about this.
“and hid under the bathtub. I was afraid that I had scared my kitten, Annabelle.”
This is another easy link. Last weekend I was at home and I accidentally knocked over a bunch of crap that I’d had stacked up in the closet. This scared Annabelle, who ran upstairs. I went up to look for her, and finally found her under the bathtub. On the day I had this dream, I had knocked some stuff off of my bed at my dorm. This reminded me of Annabelle, and I was glad she wasn’t there to get scared.
“From lesion to cohesion” (or, “websites with which to procrastinate”)
Let’s have some fun today, eh? I have a psych test tomorrow. Here are a few websites of interest (have I done this before? I don’t know).
Several famous books online. I love this place.
True fun. People rant against commercials.
Yes, I read fan fiction. Got a problem with that?
More fun. Find exact locations of cities on a map of the world.
Already posted this, I know.
Oh my god! Graphs and data!
One of my new obsessions. For all you ATHF fans out there.
Yay!
Career-a-size Me, Cap’n!
Okay.
So I’ve decided, I think, what I specifically want to do in the field of psychology. I know the majority of people majoring in psychology want to do clinical work. I, on the other hand, want to stay as far away from it as possible.
I’ve always had a thing with data and statistics—I like to analyze data, check correlations, and find percentages (what a total nerd, eh?). So I figure I want to go into quantitative and psychometric psychology, which basically deals with the design, execution, and validity of tests and the data received from said tests (tests being IQ, personality, and achievement tests for the most part). It sounds like stuff I’d like to do. Plus the $200,000 a year salary sounds pretty good, too.
Number 11!
Guess what, people? Today’s my 11-month anniversary at MySpace. You know what that means? Next month at this time I will have been here a freaking year. Sad, wonderful, and surprising, all at the same time.
I want an award.
U of I: the FEMA of universities
You know how I picked on the Honors Society in yesterday’s blog? Well, I’ve realized that it was a rather unfair thing to do. Therefore, I am extending my complaining to two other parts of the U of I. Enjoy.
My main complaint is with the websites. Mainly, the complete disorganization of every single department website. It is ridiculous. There is no consistency from website to website, and 90% of them are no help whatsoever. The English Department’s is entirely disorganized, the Philosophy Department’s was down for about half the semester, and the Statistics Department’s must be the most basic and unhelpful website yet. The only true thorough website I could find was the Psychology Department’s.
The next complaint has to do with whatever idiot made the layout for the summer scheduling. I’ve complained about this on here before, I think, but really…it deserves it again. What kind of moron makes it so that the first session and the second session overlap by about 10 friggin’ days? I guess it wouldn’t be so bad if any classes were offered at times other than 11:30-1:20 and 1:30-3:20, but they’re not! My god, how hard do they have to think to come up with this crap?
“Hey guys, let’s just sit down here and think of the most inconvenient and utterly moronic scheduling system we can, just to confuse and frustrate the student body!”
“Haha, yeah! And after we’re done we can all go down to One World Café and get lattes!”
“OMG!”
Why such incompetence? Why such useless confusion? They need someone who can organize things and make things run efficiently. They need me. I should totally try to get a job here.
Oh wait, last complaint (for now): the heating system in Wallace. I don’t know about you guys on the other floors, but my heating kicked off about two months ago, so it now remains a nice average 56 degrees in my room. Honestly, this is Idaho, people. You’d think the University here would realize that it doesn’t matter if it’s “spring”—it’s not gonna start getting nice and warm till around May, and even then there’s a possibility of snow (it snowed a year or so ago in May, if I recall).
Blog 334: in which the honors society gets it
I have a bone to pick with the U of I Honors Society. A big bone. And it’s not sexual.
So here’s a criterion for staying in the Honors Society once you’re admitted: you must take at least one honors class every other semester. No big deal, right? I mean, what are the odds of not finding an honors class that pertains to either my major or one of my three minors?
Well apparently, these odds are pretty damn big. There’s not a single honors class in any of my fields—that’s FOUR SEPARATE FIELDS—and I find that ridiculous. Utterly ridiculous. I find the idea of one honors class per year very reasonable, mind you. Where the reason flies out of the window, though, lies in the fact that there are only, say, six honors classes in total offered every semester. Two of these are 101 classes, meaning that, for people like me, they’ve either been taken or would be a total waste of time. The rest are in microbiology and/or math or they’re upper division courses that, apparently, can’t be taken by freshmen and sophomores.
Please. Come on, U of I. These are ridiculous restrictions for some of us (specifically, those of us who put our major’s priorities over non-related dribble that is needed to stay in an honor’s society).
Basically, it’s either get out in three years or stay in the honors society.
I think you know what I pick.
So unless my minors or my circumstances change, I’ll be “kicked out” of the U of I Honors Society by next fall.
Screw it.
No blog today, due to my feeling totally like crap. Sorry to disappoint—it seems to be the only thing I’ve been good at doing lately.
Seventh
You know what I miss? 7th grade. It was a fun time. I know none of you know (except for Aneel), but it rocked.
Haha, I remember messing around with Ross after school, and Jimmy, his son (who was a coat, I think) and Nell, Aneel’s puffy marshmallow coat. And then that whole thing with Ross throwing the snowballs at the white trash truck with the gun rack in the back. Man, that was hilarious.
Knowledge Bowl. Now THAT was fun. Me + Aneel + Ross = fail at every competition (mostly because we messed around and were always one person short of a full team) but hey—it was fun.
I miss it. It was not high school, and it was not catholic school.
Fix it!
Why hello there! Here’s a list I found at the Maxim website—”100 Things All Guys Should Know.” It is abbreviated here because I included only the things that I thought were really interesting/pertaining to everybody:
The best time of day to buy shoes
Late afternoon, when your feet have swollen to their largest size.
How to keep chisels and other bladed tools rust-free
Store them in wooden boxes. The wood absorbs moisture in the air, preventing rust.
How to win more coin tosses
Always call tails. On U.S. coins, the heads side, with its big, solid portrait, weighs infinitesimally more: In the course of 10,000 tosses, the lighter tails side will come up an extra 50 or so times.
The logic behind Mount Rushmore
Washington—the nation’s founding
Jefferson—the nation’s political philosophy
Lincoln—the nation’s preservation
Roosevelt—the nation’s expansion and conservation
The remedy for poison ivy
Baking soda and water. Lather, rinse, repeat.
The Seven Wonders of the Modern World (compiled in 1931, after we’d thrown up the Empire State Building)
-Empire State Building (U.S.)
-The Great Pyramids at Giza (Egypt)
-Leaning Tower of Pisa (Italy)
-Washington Monument (U.S.)
-Eiffel Tower (France)
-Taj Mahal (India)
-Hagia Sophia (Turkey)
How to relieve thirst in the wild
A pebble held in the mouth will stimulate saliva production and kill that dry-mouth feeling. Stay on the lookout for neon bar signs.
How to pick a ripe watermelon
Forget thumping on the hull or pressing the stem end: Color’s the key. The ripest, tastiest melons are an appetizing red on the inside, not that watery, why-bother pink, and that richness of color’s reflected on the outside. Look for a melon whose dark bands are wider than its light bands. The higher the ratio of dark to light outside, the darker the color (and the sweeter the meat) inside.
How to interpret equestrian statues
It is a convention—though one oft refuted—that the stance of the horse clues you in to the fate of the rider: If the horse is rearing, its rider died in battle; if only one leg’s in the air, he was wounded in battle; if all four hooves are on the ground, he died of other causes.
How to gauge the doneness of a steak without slicing into it
You can determine when a steak has finished cooking—whether it’s supposed to be rare, medium, or well-done—by giving it the finger. Press your forefinger into it lightly, as if picking up ink from a fingerprint pad, then touch your head and compare their firmness. A well-done steak should feel as firm as your forehead; a medium steak, as firm as your chin; and a rare steak, as firm as the end of your nose. Ain’t that cool?
Why Everest’s just tall enough
Mount Everest, earth’s highest peak, is 29,028 feet tall. If it were much higher, you couldn’t climb it without wearing a spacesuit. At around 35,000 feet, even inhaling 100 percent pure oxygen won’t suffice to keep you alive. Why? Because the extremely low pressure at that altitude lets nitrogen bubbles enter your bloodstream (the phenomenon deep-sea divers call the bends), which leads to embolisms and sometimes death.
Dear MySpace:
To all my beloved blog fans out there (all two of you!), I must state this for the record: MySpace dislikes me and my blogging. While I can still log in and access the messages, blog page, and friend requests, I cannot upload my blogs or respond to messages. So apologies to all. Obviously, I am writing this today in Microsoft Word. You probably won’t get to read it for a month or so.
Boredom + online palm reader!
Haha! I’m bored again. More fun! Today it’s palm reading:
-Your strong, deeply etched lifeline reveals a strong nervous system. In addition to that it reveals an equally strong physical constitution. The stronger the life line, the stronger the overall constitution, ensuring that there is stamina, vitality and good health.
-With the nervous system being more finely tuned, mental or emotional stress will play a large part in the overall physical well being.
-You are hard working, alert and work according to a planned scheme. You are quite willing to follow rules and regulations and also to have continuity in a family business.
-You are wise and intelligent. You carry out your activities with forethought and conviction. Sensitivity of nature becomes very noticeable. Your moodiness is often uncontrollable, in the sense that the company of people you may be in will dictate your moods.
-You are a person with a cold, unemotional nature. You are more likely to consider the practical aspects of marriage.
-You prefer not to reveal your feelings but to ponder about it, assess and decide how to deal with them.
-You may be healthy, wealthy and may lead an honorable life.
-Each bracelet signifies a lifespan of about 30 years.
-You are likely to contribute to the society and be remembered for it even after your lifetime.
Boredom + online handwriting analyzer!
What should I be doing? Studying for stats and various other classes. What am I doing? An online handwriting analysis. According to this one website, this is what my handwriting says:
-You are a practical person whose goals are planned, practical, and down to earth. You need to visualize the end of a project before you start. You find joy in anticipation and planning. Notice that I said you plan everything you are going to do—that doesn’t necessarily mean things go as planned. You feel you have the ability to achieve anything you set your mind to. However, you set your goals using practicality—not too “out of reach”.
-In reference to your mental abilities, you have a very investigating and creating mind. You investigate projects rapidly because you are curious about many things. You get involved in many projects that seem good at the beginning, but you soon must slow down and look at all the angles. You probably get too many things going at once. When you slow down, then you become more creative than before. Since it takes time to be creative, you must slow down to do it. You then decide what projects you have time to finish. Thus you finish at a slower pace than when you started the project. You have the best of two kinds of minds. One is the quick investigating mind. The other is the creative mind. Your mind thinks quick and rapidly in the investigative mode. You can learn quicker, investigate more, and think faster. You can then switch into your low gear. When you are in the slower mode, you can be creative, remember longer and stack facts in a logical manner. You are more logical this way and can climb mental mountains with a much better grip.
-You use judgment to make decisions. You are ruled by her head, not her heart. You are a cool, collected person who is usually unexpressive emotionally. Some may see you as unemotional. You do have emotions but have no need to express them. You are withdrawn into yourself and enjoy being alone. The circumstances when you do express emotions include: extreme anger, extreme passion, and tremendous stress. If someone gets you mad enough to tell him or her off, you will not be sorry about it later. You put a mark in your mind when someone angers you. You keep track of these marks and when you hit that last mark you will let them know they have gone too far. You are ruled somewhat by self-interest. All your conclusions are made without outside emotional influence. You will work more efficiently if given space and time to be alone. You would rather not be surrounded by people constantly. You are not subject to emotional appeals. If someone is selling a product to you, they will need to present only the facts. They should present them from a standpoint of your sound judgment. You will not be taken in by an emotional story about someone else.
-You exaggerate about everything that has a physical nature. Although you may not intend to deceive or mislead, you blow things way out of proportion because that is the way you view them. You will be a good storyteller. This exaggeration relates to all areas of your material world. You have a vivid imagination.
-You are selective when picking friends. You do not trust everyone. You have a select group of people that are truly close to her, usually two or three. You are careful when choosing her inner circle of friends.
-You are sarcastic. This is a defense mechanism designed to protect your ego when you feel hurt.
-You have a temper. You use this as a defense mechanism when you don’t understand how to handle a situation. Temper is a hostile trait used to protect the ego. Temper can be a negative personality trait in the eyes of those around you.
I’m so bored.
Remind me again why I hate group work? Oh yeah. People suck.
Group work is inefficient, boring, irritating, and utterly pointless. Especially when one is forced into a group of pseudo intellectuals and forced to sit and seethe in anger as they get absolutely nothing done. These are people who can easily rattle off dozens of French phrases and draw comparisons between Gandhi and Kafka but who are about as efficient as a sandpaper sled.
They think they’re so far beyond the classes they’re taking that they can just blow off the review questions and sail by with a 150% in the class. Wrong, you morons. You can spout French proverbs all you want, my friends, but will that help you pass a test in English? Obviously not, considering all three of you failed to get A’s on your last tests.
What’s worse is the fact that they look down upon people who have not been exposed to the things they have and therefore don’t know anything about them. Excuse me if Moscow’s public education is not the same as southern California’s, or wherever you prissy rich jackasses are from. If you’re so far above the rest of us, why are you even in college at all? Why can’t you just walk into the Dean’s office and pick up that PhD now? Oh, wait, I know why—you have to actually do WORK to get it!
Let me tell you something—it doesn’t matter if you know French, understand quantum physics, or know your wine. It is the understanding of new knowledge and material pertaining to the class you’re in that makes you smart, not the fact that you can list off all the Presidents and their wives or can recite the Periodic Table as if you had it in front of you. Be efficient. Be productive. Stay on the subject. Don’t apply crap that is not relevant.
And stop looking down on others who may not have had your rich-ass opportunities. Not everyone can afford private tutoring or have parents that will pay off the teachers to get their kids through 8th grade English.
Wait, did I write that last part down?
Google my name. I’m a German Yoga instructor.
Do you guys ever scroll through your past Google searches before you delete them and see all the weird crap you look up? I do, and I look up a lot of weird and random crap. This is about a fifth of it:
“disco latin”
“FM radio lyrics”
“GRE”
“Harvard”
“Hypothermia”
“Klinefelter’s Syndrome”
“Mystery Science Theatre 3000”
“Oenophile”
“Sadomasochism” (don’t ask.)
“Socratic method of inquiry”
“Spontaneous combustion”
“Trichotillomania”
“Why societies collapse”
“William Shatner”
Yeah. Just a little tidbit for you all. Enjoy it now, cause one day I’ll be gone and then how will you be entertained, huh?!
Hm, who would have guessed?
Hmm…interesting. Perhaps one could say that the chart is fundamentally flawed, but still…it’s worth checking out.
Fall 2007 tentative schedule of happiness
Huttah, fools! I think I’ve got next semester’s schedule figured out:
Monday
Geology 101 (9:30-10:20)
History 412 (10:30-11:20)
Music 319 (12:30-1:20)
Geology LAB (1:30-3:20)
Philosophy 320 (2:30-5:20)
Tuesday
History 102 (8:00-9:15)
Psychology 218 (9:30-10:45)
Psychology 430 (11:00-12:15)
Music 319 (12:30-1:45)
Wednesday
Geology 101 (9:30-10:20)
History 412 (10:30-11:20)
Music 319 (12:30-1:20)
Psychology LAB (2:30-4:20)
Thursday
History 102 (8:00-9:15)
Psychology 218 (9:30-10:45)
Psychology 430 (11:00-12:15)
Music 319 (12:30-1:45)
Friday
Geology 101 (9:30-10:20)
History 412 (10:30-11:20)
Music 319 (12:30-1:20)
Summer classes have yet to be finalized.
Ra-Ra-Rousseau!
Well, we’re back at the soul-sucking hellhole of college again. I really don’t like it here. Anyway, at least I owned my Core, English 258, and biology tests. Anything to get out faster.
Quick little blog here.
!Sdrawkcab
So I’m sitting here in my room thinking, “I should totally run for President of the United States.” I honestly think I’m efficient, organized, and capable enough to do a good job. I just need a slogan and some campaign posters.
Get your colored pencils out, people.
Why limit friendship by naming a SQUARE after it? Why is there no friendship CUBE, huh?
Woo! I dare say that this is the first real outside of school social interaction I’ve had since Christmas Break. Thanks, guys. You’ve brought out the child (or childish freak) in me yet again. And I needed that.
I’ll get those pics up as soon as possible. Just for you, Aneel!
Oh, and I got sunburned. How sad is that?
Evidence supporting my decision to cease majoring in theatre
Oh, man…this…wow. So I’m sitting here alone today and I decide to dig through all these old tapes of home movies and the like. I find this one labeled “Bomb Shelter Play” which was undoubtedly the one that held on it my having fun in our bomb shelter a few years ago by putting on a play. So I stick it in the VCR, ready to see how bad my acting skills were. Instead, I get an old magic show that my friend and I did back in…hm…it looks like it was from 4th grade or so.
Lemme tell you something—I was having about as much fun as the variola virus in the New World watching this thing. I honestly don’t know how he put up with my evil dictator-like style.
I know none of you care, but I’m going to post this anyway. It’s some of the random crap we did. I don’t know if it was scripted or not (I honestly don’t remember doing this specific magic show; we did about 5 separate ones), but if it wasn’t…damn, that’s even funnier.
Here are several of the names/catchphrases we gave it:
-G.E.’s Magic Show: Things You Can See With Your Own Eyes
-G.E.’s Magic Show: Things You Can See With Your Eyes, But Not With Anything Else (wtf?)
-G.E.’s Magic Show: Things You Can See With Your Eyes…And Things…That You Can’t
-G.E’s Magic Show: Things You Can See…And Things You Can’t
And then there was this whole thing we did when we didn’t know the camera was on (this is me being a jerk):
G.E.: Oh, I got a better idea!
Me: I need a knife.
G.E.: I gotta better idea!
Me: A kitchen knife
G.E.: I got a good idea! I got a good idea!
Me: Hold on! (I leave for a minute or so, and come back in) I got a fork!
G.E.: I got a good idea.
Me: No wait…let’s do this. (I ramble on about my idea)
G.E: But I gotta better idea.
Me: (I ramble a little more)
G.E.: But I’ve still got a better idea.
Me: Oh come on! Let’s just do that—
G.E.: But I’ve got a better idea!
Me: Let’s do that, just come on!
G.E.: I got a good idea, I got a good idea, I got a good idea, I got a good idea, I got a good idea—
Me: Please, please, please, we did your book—
G.E.: I got a good idea!
Me: We did your book thing last.
G.E.: Yeah but we did the we did the….that uh…
Me: That catch thing.
G.E.: Yeah—
Me: And then we did that other thing which was your idea and the first thing which was my idea so we have to do my idea now and then we can do that.
G.E.: And then we can—
Me: And then we can do our homework! Come on! It’s perfect!
G.E.: It’s practically the same—
Me: No, no, come on please just this—
G.E.: I’ll do, I’ll do like “we can do some of that beautiful commercial music!” and then, um, I’ll turn on that music and then you’ll go “SHUT UP!” and you’ll like yaaaaaaaaaa and then you’ll throw the fork and it’ll go twannnnnnnng!
Me: How we gonna do that?
G.E.: I dunno.
Me: You’ll be over here…
G.E.: Oh, I’ve got a good idea!
Etc., etc. I think we didn’t do either of our original ideas.
Here, we attempt a potion sketch.
G.E.: It’s like “oh man, that smells too bad!”
Me: And then I breathe it in and I’m like “awwwww” and then I fart!
G.E.: Yeah!
Me: Phbbbbbbbbt! Um…let’s take a commercial break!
G.E.: I’ll go “phbbbbbbbt!”
Man, I can’t tell if we scripted this or not.
Me: Well finally, get on stage!
G.E.: Uh, here’s the—
Me: This is your magic show, remember?
G.E.: Here’s the trouble!
Me: Oh! Kay!
G.E: Now back to G.E’s Magic Show. Now…
Me: Here’s your script! Read it and…that’s my personal underwear! Let go of it! You’re Stupid!
-“Oh yesterday on the day of 1893 I saw this boy…and he loved me so much!” (G.E. reading from the “script”)
-“Oh black darkness is aware of you!” (Me covering the camera lens)
-“Dear diary: today, our magician took the longest time to get here! He has no point of contact with anything in the real world. Thank you diary for listening to me.” (Me)
-“Look! At! Yourself! You need…a MAKEOVER!” (Me)
Ah, the minds of fourth-graders. Are there any greater things in the world?
I can see where my classmates from elementary school got the material for my ridicule, though, that’s for sure.
Eigenblogger 