Have I done this survey before? I think I have. Whatever. Screw it.

200: My crush’s name is: Does my husband count as a crush? He’s more than a crush, though, so…

199: I was born in: The ‘Scow.

198: I am really: Horrible.

197: My cellphone company is: Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…uhhhhh…Shaw?

196: My eye color is: Hazel.

195: My shoe size is: Ten and a half in Saucony Kinvaras. Which are the only shoes I ever wear anymore, so yeah. Ten and a half.

194: My ring size is: No idea.

193: My height is: 5’2.5”

192: I am allergic to: Pineapples. Azmacort. Some sort of pollen.

191: My 1st car was: NON-EXISTENT!

190: My 1st job was: Wendy’s.

189: Last book you read: Oh god I don’t even know.

188: My bed is: Nice and soft and cozy.

187: My pet: Jazzy! She’s the best.

186: My best friend: I don’t think I have one. I don’t know if I even have any regular friends anymore.

185: My favorite shampoo is: Whatever the heck I use. I can’t remember. It’s in a green bottle.

184: Xbox or ps3: Xbox.

183: Piggy banks are: Something I’ve never seen in real life.


181: On my calendar: Nothing. I, surprisingly, don’t use a calendar.

180: Marriage is: Happy.

179: Spongebob can: Do a lot of things. Spongily.

178: My mom: Is the best mom in the world.

177: The last three songs I bought were? I don’t freaking know. I’m not doing my daily songs, so everything is a blur and time is meaningless.

176: Last YouTube video watched: A video about the kilogram, because of course.

175: How many cousins do you have? Five?

174: Do you have any siblings? Nope!

173: Are your parents divorced? Yes.

172: Are you taller than your mom? No. There aren’t a lot of people that are shorter than me.

171: Do you play an instrument?  Several.

170: What did you do yesterday? I ran! I screwed around. I cried. The usual.

[ I Believe In ]

169: Love at first sight: Yes.

168: Luck: Yes.

167: Fate: Sure.

166: Yourself: I’m a horrible human being, so no.

165: Aliens: What a sad universe this would be if the only life out there was contained on this one little planet.

164: Heaven: Eh.

163: Hell: Eh.

162: God: No.

161: Horoscopes: They’re fun.

160: Soul mates: Considering I’m married to my soul mate, yes.

159: Ghosts: Maybe not in the typical way they’re portrayed, but yes.

158: Gay Marriage: How…how do you “believe in” gay marriage? It’s not like something that may or may not exist. Gay people exist. Some of them get married. Gay marriage is…real.

157: War: War is real..

156: Orbs: Dafuq is an orb?

155: Magic: Nah.

[ This or That ]

154: Hugs or Kisses: No touchy.

153: Drunk or High: Neither.

152: Phone or Online: Online, bitches!

151: Red heads or Black haired: OH GOD THAT’S A TOUGH CHOICE. Um, red.

150: Blondes or Brunettes: Blondes, yo.

149: Hot or cold: I’d rather be too cold than too hot. This is frequently the case, so it works out.

148: Summer or winter: Summer.

147: Autumn or Spring: Ugh, neither.

146: Chocolate or vanilla: Vanilla.

145: Night or Day: I love the sun, but I am most awake at night.

144: Oranges or Apples: Apples.

143: Curly or Straight hair: I’ve always wanted straight hair. I hate my freaking hair.

142: McDonalds or Burger King: McDonald’s.

141: White Chocolate or Milk Chocolate: Milk chocolate. White chocolate is creepy.

140: Mac or PC: PC.

139: Flip flops or high heels: Neither.

138: Ugly and rich OR sweet and poor: Would being sweet and poor erase my current ugliness, or am I stuck with that?

137: Coke or Pepsi: Neither.

136: Hillary or Obama: Dated survey is dated.

135: Buried or cremated: Throw me in the burny-burny. Then take some of my remains and scatter them on/near Leibniz’ grave. I am 100% not kidding about this.

134: Singing or Dancing: Singing!

133: Coach or Chanel: Don’t care.

132: Kat McPhee or Taylor Hicks: I don’t know these humans.

131: Small town or Big city: Big city.

130: Wal-Mart or Target: Walmart.

129: Ben Stiller or Adam Sandler: Ben Stiller is pretty great.

128: Manicure or Pedicure: No touchy.

127: East Coast or West Coast: What country are we referring to here?

126: Your Birthday or Christmas: Christmas.

125: Chocolate or Flowers: Chocolate. Half the appeal of flowers is lost on me because of NON-FUNCTIONING NOSE.

124: Disney or Six Flags: Disney.

123: Yankees or Red Sox: METS.

[ Here’s What I Think About ]

122: War: It’s…bad?


120: Gay Marriage: Do it! I mean, if you’re gay. If you’re not, it won’t work.

119: The presidential election: The next one? It’ll be hell.

118: Abortion: Pro-choice.

117: MySpace: HA, does that exist anymore?

116: Reality TV: Reality cooking shows are pretty great.

115: Parents: Mine are good.

114: Back stabbers: They’re…bad?

113: Ebay: I haven’t used eBay in a looooong time.

112: Facebook: Blah.

111: Work: I like my work.

110: My Neighbors: I don’t know them.

109: Gas Prices: I don’t care about them personally, but Alberta is an oil province, so…

108: Designer Clothes: Give me gaudy Goodwill madness instead, please.

107: College: It’s my life.

106: Sports: BASEBALL

105: My family: My immediate family is good.

104: The future: Eh.

[ Last time I ]

103: Hugged someone: I hugged Nate this morning.

102: Last time you ate: Yesterday?

101: Saw someone I haven’t seen in awhile: Q U A R A N T I N E  B I T C H E S

100: Cried in front of someone: Yesterday.

99: Went to a movie theater: Q U A R A N T I N E  B I T C H E S 

98: Took a vacation: Q U A R A N T I N E  B I T C H E S (yes, I’m going to use this for every relevant question)

97: Swam in a pool: Q U A R A N T I N E  B I T C H E S

96: Changed a diaper: Ew, I hate kids, no thanks.

95: Got my nails done: Q U A R A N T I N E  B I T C H E S

94: Went to a wedding: Q U A R A N T I N E  B I T C H E S

93: Broke a bone: Never.

92: Got a peircing: Whenever I got that industrial, so…2008?

91: Broke the law: It’s been a while.

90: Texted: A few minutes ago

[ MISC ]

89: Who makes you laugh the most: Nate is hilarious.

88: Something I will really miss when I leave home is: I have already left home. I probably won’t see it again until at least next year. I’m sad.

87: The last movie I saw: I have no idea.

86: The thing that I’m looking forward to the most: The end of this freaking pandemic nonsense.

85: The thing im not looking forward to: Continuing pandemic nonsense.

84: People call me: My name. Super original and unique, right?

83: The most difficult thing to do is: To be happy. I’m…not good at that.

82: I have gotten a speeding ticket: Nope.

81: My zodiac sign is: Aquarius.

80: The first person i talked to today was: Nate.

79: First time you had a crush: Hahahaha, let’s not go into that saga, shall we? (Fifth grade.)

78: The one person who I can’t hide things from: I can hide things from everyone.

77: Last time someone said something you were thinking: My mom and I are always on the same wavelength. We’re creepy.

76: Right now I am talking to: No one.

75: What are you going to do when you grow up: I am an adult right now! I teach math/stats.

74: I have/will get a job: See above.

73: Tomorrow: Will unfortunately happen.

72: Today: Is unfortunately happening.

71: Next Summer: Will hopefully be a lot more normal than this one, holy hellbaskets.

70: Next Weekend: Will be the same old boring nonsense.

69: I have these pets: Jazzy.

68: The worst sound in the world: Babies crying. Kids crying.

67: The person that makes me cry the most is: Me.

66: People that make you happy: Nothing makes me happy.

65: Last time I cried: Yesterday.

64: My friends are: Probably not actually my friends anymore. I am both forgettable and not good at keeping in touch with others.

63: My computer is: My bro.

62: My School: I’m surprisingly not going to school right now.

61: My Car: No car.

60: I lose all respect for people who: Aren’t taking this damn virus seriously.

59: The last movie I cried at was: Probably whatever the last movie I watched was.

58: Your hair color is: Black.

57: TV shows you watch: One of the TV stations up here, for whatever miraculous reason, shows Chicago Hope at 4 PM. I watch it religiously now that I’m stuck at home.

56: Favorite web site: I don’t know if I have one. The one I use the most is probably YouTube.

55: Your dream vacation: The Leibniz museum in Germany!

54: The worst pain I was ever in was: When I had appendicitis? I’m actually not sure.

53: How do you like your steak cooked: Well-done as all hell. Fight me.

52: My room is: Not a thing. I don’t have a room.

51: My favorite celebrity is: I’m all about Adam Arkin now that I’ve been getting my Chicago Hope fix. I really like him.

50: Where would you like to be: Nowhere.

49: Do you want children: GOD NO

48: Ever been in love: I currently am!

47: Who’s your best friend: I don’t know if I have one.

46: More guy friends or girl friends: More guy friends.

45: One thing that makes you feel great is: Nothing.

44: One person that you wish you could see right now: My mom.

43: Do you have a 5 year plan: Get the tenure. That’s…that’s it. And keep walking obsessively.

42: Have you made a list of things to do before you die: Eh.

41: Have you pre-named your children: I LOVE the name “Hugo.” I also love the name “Victor,” so that’s a problem. But I’m not having kids anyway, so…

40: Last person I got mad at: Myself.

39: I would like to move to: Nowhere. I love Calgary.

38: I wish I was a professional: Anything. Being a pro at something would be coolio.

[ My Favorites ]

37: Candy: M&Ms!

36: Vehicle: Car? Or do you want more specifics? A Jeep Wrangler with the plastic top.

35: President: Millard Fillmore!

34: State visited: Alaska.

33: Cellphone provider: I don’t think I have a favorite.

32: Athlete: Oh god, a bunch of baseball players.

31: Actor: As above, Adam Arkin.

30: Actress: Dunno.

29: Singer: Chris Martin from Coldplay.

28: Band: Coldplay.

27: Clothing store: Uh…no idea.

26: Grocery store: Superstore is great ‘cause it’s cheap, but it’s probably COVID CENTRAL right now.

25: TV show: Chicago Hope!

24: Movie: Sunshine.

23: Website: I’ve done this one already.

22: Animal: Cat.

21: Theme park: Have I ever been to a theme park? Disneyland counts, right? Disneyland.

20: Holiday: Christmas.

19: Sport to watch: Baseball!

18: Sport to play: I don’t do sports.

17: Magazine: I used to read Mental Floss.

16: Book: The Caine Mutiny.

15: Day of the week: I’ve always liked Tuesdays and I have no idea why.

14: Beach: Whatever that one was in Hawaii.

13: Concert attended: I’ve only ever seen OK Go.

12: Thing to cook: Spaghetti is easy as hell and is also probably one of the “fastest” things I can cook. I take 4 hours to make a salad and I’m not even kidding.

11: Food: Broccoli. Cheese. Cheesy broccoli!

10: Restaurant: Mongolian BBQ. I hope it survives all this madness.

9: Radio station: 106.1 in Moscow.

8: Yankee candle scent: ANOSMIA, BITCHES

7: Perfume: See above.

6: Flower: I like sunflowers.

5: Color: Orange.

4: Talk show host: I have no idea.

3: Comedian: Brian Regan! Ben Baily is great, too.

2: Dog breed: I don’t think I have one.

1: did you answer all these truthfully? I TRIED, OKAY?!?!?!?!?!

What sayest thou? Speak!

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