OH MY GOD I HAVE FOUND THE MOTHERLOAD.
I will now show you a few of my favorites, ‘cause I’m cool like that and I’ve been laughing all night because of these. You might get them, you might not, it depends on how much philosophy you know/how closely you actually listen to me when I go on my philosophy tangents.
Causes of Death for Philosophers
Anselm: Than which no deadlier can be conceived (I wonder if he realized how often that one single phrase of his would turn into random jokes?)
Berkeley: His girlfriend stopped seeing him (this has to be one of the greatest of all)
Descartes: Stopped thinking (of course)
Leibniz: Monadnucleosis (bahahahaha…)
Plato: Caved in
Spinoza: Substance abuse
Hume’s philosophy summed up in limerick form. Perfect.
That somewhat stout Scot David Hume
Said “this cosmos of ours has no room
For forces or powers
It’s just hours and hours
Of impressions, then ideas, till the tomb.”
Scroll down to the “Songs and Poems” section and click on The Monads. I want to find these guys and have all of their children (“The Missing Shade of Blues” is genius).
I love people who find humor in the things in which I find humor.