Tag Archives: gears of war

Shall I compare thee to a bed of nails?



Hi people. Today I shall provide you with (gasp!) a list of my favorite games of all time. I’ve been gaming a lot lately, due to the fact that school has yet to begin up here.


I grew up on this game, so it has become part of my soul. This is one of those retro early ‘90s FPSs with no story and horrible (read: awesome) graphics. I was so damn good at this game when I was a kid.

Rock Band/Rock Band II
This game is for crazy people like Sean and myself who take it way too seriously. This game is for all college students who, despite having way too much to study for, are able to somehow play in a fake band for 4 hours straight every Monday-Saturday. In other words, this game is awesome.

Fallout 3
The most recent addition to this list, Fallout 3 is half FPS, half RPG, and it is for those reasons that I love it. It’s also got a lot of humor (threesome offers from soda enthusiasts and love letters from people who want to blow up your city, anyone?) and there are a lot of different ways to “make” your character. Awesome.
Oh, and Button.
Button rocks.

Cosmic Osmo
OH GOD RETRO! Another of those early ‘90s/late ‘80s games, Cosmic Osmo is a Mac (Macintosh, back then, I guess, eh?) game that’s entirely in black and white, which allowed for the world to be HUGE, especially for back in those days. Totally a kid’s game, totally awesome. It’s really hard to find now; apparently eBay copies are selling for like $300. It also can’t be played on Macs nowadays, which blows.

The Sims 1 and 2
The Sims is great. I always made my Sims as replicates of people I knew in real life, then I married people that I thought would go well together, and sometimes I would kill my enemies. Then I got a metric ton of mods and my Sims became orange, giant babies, 500-pound fat guys, skeletons, floating torsos, and were able to have ridiculous amounts of children (FOUR HUNDRED BABIES!). Fun times.

Gordon Freeman is like the Chuck Norris of video games. Alternate univerise alien creatures show up, Gordon’s all, “not in MY research facility, bitches!” Then he whips out his crowbar and weilds it in a way only an MIT graduate could. I wonder how bad his PTSD was after this incident? Like, every time someone mentioned the word “rotors,” did he start spazzing and chucking crowbars at fellow scientists?
That would be a great alternate sequel. “Half-Life 2: Mental Breakdown.”

The Neverhood
So have you ever seen a game made entirely out of clay? Well then you’ve obviously never played this. It’s sort of a puzzle game, in which you play Klayman, a clay dude (durh) who has to somehow get the true king Hoborg’s crown back from the evil Klogg. The music is rad, and the little touches this game has make it awesome.

Gears of War
Because “I ON DA COLE TRAIN!” is the best thing to shout in any situation. And because I like shooters.


So today Aaron and I were playing Guardian on Gears of War. I was Cole, as usual (of course).  His character is usually really talkative, but for some reason he was unusually quiet today. So I go, “you okay, Cole Train?” And INSTANTLY he goes “Good to go!”



Yeah, this goes on for about the rest of the month

Because I just beat Horde and Gears of War-related comics are few and far between.

Or possibly non-existant.

Those are Grinders, that’s why it’s funny.

Even more Gears of War insanity

Hahahaha…this is the game Aaron and I have been playing incessantly, cut down to 49 seconds. It’s really pretty accurate. Please note that I will be shouting “WHERE’S MY WIFE?!” a lot more.

More Gears of War blithering

I love how now that I have formed a special bond with Cole, the actual train that runs through Tyro Station (one of the maps on which Aaron and I always play Horde or Guardian) always mows over the Locust when they’re chasing me and always seems to pass through when they’re about to kill me from across the tracks.
It’s freaking great, I love this game.

Cults are fun

Hahaha, oh GOD, what have I done?

Now I know about twelve people who now love to shout “I ON DA COLE TRAIN!!” whenever I see them.
This needs to become an internet phenomenon. It NEEDS to.

Do whatever you can.

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