Helpful handy tips for you clueless rec center ladies and gentlemen out there:

• Don’t use the inner/outer thigh machine as a place to park your butt for half an hour.
• Those little spray bottles with the disinfectant in them? There are like five of them in the whole gym. Please don’t take them individually back to your machine when you’re done. Spray the towel with them at the station, and take the towel only.
• The mats are for stretching or situps, not for standing in a circle with your girlfriends gossiping about the basketball team.
• Talking to your friend a machine over is very distracting and obnoxious to the poor soul stuck in between you two.
• Just because your locker is next to the bench does not mean you should spread all your crap out over the entire bench.
• Do you really need the 8, 10, 12, and 15 pound dumbbells at the same time? Please put them back on the rack if you’re going to do more than three reps with a different weight before going back.
• Yes, you’ve got nice arm muscles. Yes, your hair looks fine. Yes, your butt looks hot in those tight pants. Can you please step away from the mirror now so I can work my triceps?
• Can you people pry yourselves away from your cellphones for HALF AN HOUR? Good lord, we can’t be separated from our social crutches for half a second anymore.

That is all.