Put on your happy pants!
So the year is coming to a close, and I feel the best way to end it (on my blog, at least) is to make a list of my most-remembered memories from our little lunch group.
So without further ado, I present to you:
~* The Most-Remembered Memories List! *~
~ The “family tree” I made out of my deck of cards
~ That creepy bearded guy cornering me while I had a pad in my pants and asking whether or not my parents would approve of me being “inappropriate”
~ Crab humping! (and “over capacity” Jacob!)
~ Sticking my clarinet case down my pants
~ Taking off my bra and throwing it on Aneel (multiple occurrences)
~ The whole “that’s not Gangrene!” situation
~ Tampy!
~ The tampon machine
~ “Boxing” with Hunter
~ Pissing off Alan (multiple occurrences)
~ Throwing M&Ms up into the ceiling with Candida
~ Those cardboard stilts in the bathroom
~ Harassing Ballerina Boy (multiple occurrences)
~ Taking butt and crotch pictures with my camera phone
~ Those Easter eggs–whacking them with my head
~ My reading of To Kill A Mockingbird
~ Crab-walking down the hall
~ Writing the Valentine’s Day poem to Aneel’s brother
~ Taking off my panties while wearing a skirt and then doing a cartwheel (thanks, E’raina!)
There are probably dozens more. Do you guys remember something that I don’t? If you do, tell me and I’ll stick it on here!
Hunter, my dad, and Aneel’s issues
Part One: In Which I Discuss Hunter’s Deceiving Of The Attendance Lady
Although others (E’raina, Hunter) may discuss this as well, I want to put it up here first. So today we were all sitting at lunch and Hunter had his cell phone out and was on hold with someone (I dunno who). Then the attendance lady walks by and says, “Are you using your cell phone on school grounds?” (or something to that effect) and Hunter does this all innocent, straight-faced, “Um, I think my Grandma just died…my mom left a confusing message and I don’t’ know what it means”. She just looks away in shame and continues walking. It was so friggin’ hilarious!! Kudos to Hunter. You are going to hell.
Part Two: In Which I Discuss My Dad’s Ability To Mispronounce Everything
My dad comes downstairs last night and starts talking to us about how he and his friend Joe were going to go see a movie. We ask him how Joe’s doing, considering he had just had is carotid artery all cleaned out (apparently it was about 95 locked). Dad says, “He’s okay, his corotorraterated artery surgery was awhile ago.” We started laughing at him, since he NEVER can pronounce anything right. Oh well. It was funny at the time.
Part 3: In Which I Discuss Aneel And His Issues
Aneel has created a new word: elasticated. I will now define it for you:
Elasticated (adj.): being devoid of all elasticity, e.g. Aneel’s swim trunks
Aneel is having issues about an apparent “gray hair” that he found while trying on new swim trunks (not down there, you sickos!) and is worried that he is “prematurely aging”. So I say, “You’re not prematurely aging, you silly boy!” And then I recommended Just for Men.
I’m weird.
Aneel…doubting me?
Okay…so this is the actual comment Aneel left on my “Jell-o Candle” picture:
| Aneel | May 26, 2006 9:05 PM
WTF how in the world did you make a candle out of jello? I bet you didn’t I bet it looks like jello anyways it’s cool |
What a butt! Aneel, that candle was totally Jell-o! You know those little Jell-o cup doodads? If you just whack one on a table upside down a few times, it’ll come out. Then stick a wick in it and light it and voila! Instant JELL-O CANDLE.
I am disappointed in you, Aneel.
But I love you, anyways!
What?…why?…when?…confusion.
Rejection at every turn today.
Perhaps I’m just imagining it, but it seemed pretty real. I got a fortune cookie yesterday that said “your popularity will increase”. I figured it was right, considering my popularity could not possibly get any lower.
But I guess I was wrong.
Like I said, though, I could be imagining all this…
…but I doubt it.
But happy birthday, mom!! I love you!!
Why is it…
…that I have only 4 friends on Myspace? I’ve been here for half a month now. Do I have this uncanny ability to turn people away even on the internet?
Also, why is it that I tend to fall in love with fictional characters? In books, movies, and yes–even cartoons.
Why?
And on a semi-related note. Self-explanatory.
Apples and such
I was so pissed off yesterday that I forgot to mention Candida and the apple. You know that bottom part of the apple that is on the exact underside of the stem? That’s the apple’s anus. You do not eat the apple’s anus.
What did Candida do yesterday? SHE ATE THE APPLE’S ANUS!!! She is no longer the Candida I once knew.
That Candida is dead to me.
But we are still in love.
Brilliant!
I just had the greatest idea–I’m going to make a pop-up book about my freaky friends!! This includes all of you (Amy, Aneel, Candida, E’raina, and Shannyn!). And it won’t be just any pop-up book, all boring and monotonous–it’ll be insulting and obnoxiously strange!!!
I love my ideas.
I love my butt.
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