S.O.S.: what could it mean?
There’s this misconception that the phrase “S.O.S.” stands for “Save Our Ship”. However, the theory goes that the letters “s” and “o” are easiest to type out in Morse code (all dots for one and all dashes for the other), hence the reason they were chosen. I guess people wouldn’t want to be typing out, “Good day, fellow sea-farers. We are in need of assistance and we would appreciate you good fellows helping us out of a tough situation. Cheerio!” I mean, it just makes sense.
However, just because there’s this theory about what S.O.S. means doesn’t necessarily mean that that’s what is really stands for.
So I shall take it upon myself to list several “alternative” meanings of S.O.S.
And…go!
– Skim Our Soy Milk
– Spay Our Spaniel
– Sauce Our Spaghetti
– Spank Our Stripper
– Stomach Our Sauerkraut
– Stand Our Stench
– Spell Out “Sequester”
– Sanctity Of Sex (it’s in the Bible!)
– Slough Off Scabs (ew.)
– Sleep Off Sedatives
– See Our Sex-Parts
That’s all I could get right now–mainly cause it’s late and my eyes itch from allergies.
Which one’s your favorite? Vote now to be eligible to win $1 million!*
*Actual chances of winning: 1:1.0385030284 x 1028. This is due mainly to the fact that I do not have $1 million, nor do I have any way to obtain this large sum of money. Do you honestly think that if I had $1 million that I would be sitting here at 10:30 at night writing about the possible meaning of “S.O.S.”?” Me neither. I’ll shut up now.
Cardboard boxes ROCK!
Today was so fun! Hunter and I “raced” in a cardboard box down the hall and I mauled him and he tried to kill me and I almost lost my pants! Apparently he won, but I think it was fixed.
It was so cool! I think it should be an Olympic sport.
…
I’ll call it “boxing”.
Two poems about Aneel!
Okay. I was bored tonight and decided to take two poems that I wrote about Aneel (one in 7th grade and one last year) and put them up here to see what people think of them. Here they are:
Aneel (written in 7th grade)
Aneel shall die at twilight
You can almost hear him shake
He is overrun by evil
Never again to wake.
As chimes sound the hour
Fate tightens its noose
Aneel thinks with every breath
That he will not get loose.
He drinks his tea with caution
Eats his crumpet with care
For he knows, fortunately
That poison could be there.
The sky is getting darker
Light sinks beyond the hills
Aneel is schizophrenic
He needs to take some pills.
The ground is white as cotton
In a blizzard thick as snow
Aneel is mighty frightened
Not sure which way to go.
As twilight comes ever closer
It scares him evermore
Waiting in the dusk there
Is no major bore.
The demons are approaching
Crawling on the floor
The seep in through the keyhole
They creep beneath the door.
Aneel sits in his chair now
Waiting for his doom
For at the door this hour
Spirits creep and loom.
The sun sets and its twilight
Aneel is soon to die
But something gleams and glimmers
And catches Aneels eye.
He sits straight up in wonder
Of the sight that he beheld
Something that possessed him
Could not let him repel.
The creature was an angel
A guardian one, at that
Aneel know in his heart that
He had not come to chat.
The angel touched his head, then
And sucked out all his fear
And bent down to his level
And whispered in his ear,
What are you waiting for, son?
You know your time has come.
I have come to spare you
So take this chance and run!
The spirit left Aneel there
Sitting in a shock
Trembling from his hair
Way down into his socks.
Freed from this predicament
He slowly went to bed
And still his good head tingled
From that hand upon his head.
And this one…
Goodnight Aneel (apologies to whoever wrote Goodnight Moon)
Goodnight room
Goodnight moon.
Goodnight cars
Goodnight Mars.
Goodnight overstuffed backpack
Goodnight personalized spice rack.
Goodnight fancy new viola
Goodnight Special K granola.
Goodnight photo of German chick
And goodnight assignment for when Shannyn was sick.
Goodnight super strength sculpting gel
And Goodnight Algebra book from hell.
Goodnight torn and sewn up pants
What’s the capital of France?
Goodnight Co-Op fabrication
And Goodnight to The Sims Vacation.
And finally, for the best Karma
Goodnight to the Aneel Sharma!
There ya go. Have fun! And sorry, Aneel!
What?…why?…when?…confusion.
Rejection at every turn today.
Perhaps I’m just imagining it, but it seemed pretty real. I got a fortune cookie yesterday that said “your popularity will increase”. I figured it was right, considering my popularity could not possibly get any lower.
But I guess I was wrong.
Like I said, though, I could be imagining all this…
…but I doubt it.
But happy birthday, mom!! I love you!!
Fear, questions, and a whole lot of “WTF?”
Weird things have occurred today, and I don’t really know how to explain them. Quick summary:
1) Something happened (not an actual event–just a feeling) when I was walking the dog tonight that made me think that I was put on the earth to change it. For the better or for the worse, I don’t know yet.
2) Relationships scare the hell out of me. I cannot make commitments, and I admit that. But I feel like such a pompous, arrogant loser when I seem to blow people off. The truth is, I’m afraid of people.
3) I am unlikeable, but for what reasons, I don’t know. I already knew this, but it became even clearer today.
That’s about all I can say. Hm.
Pretty profile!
Like my new profile colors? I do. I’m a happy little freak.
This is a short and sweet blog, isn’t it?
Wee.
Why is it…
…that I have only 4 friends on Myspace? I’ve been here for half a month now. Do I have this uncanny ability to turn people away even on the internet?
Also, why is it that I tend to fall in love with fictional characters? In books, movies, and yes–even cartoons.
Why?
And on a semi-related note. Self-explanatory.
My new best friend, Tampy!
Holy crap! I came up with the greatest machine thingy ever today!!
I had this silver hand fan with me at school for my Rube-Goldberg project for physics. During lunch, I tied a tampon (unused, of course, and don’t ask why I had one) to one of the fabric blades. The little doodad took off! It was so cool! Aneel, of course, was terrified of it, and, of course, it kept going over to him. If I get the fan back, I’ll take a video of it and put it up here.
I love my new friend. He rocks my socks.
“But I’m Socrates!”
Man, what a weird dream I had last night. This is how it goes:
I’m standing in a room with about 20 other people–one of which is Alan and one of which is Aneel. Alan is meditating. Aneel is sewing drapes. I walk over to Aneel and ask, “Is that the right kind of thread for that fabric?” and he answered, “Hitler would approve.” Alan started calling me “Socrates”.
Then the dream shifted to a hill–I think it was in France–and we were all sitting on a quilt. Then it started raining and we all hid under the quilt. However, I pointed out that the quilt was suffocating us not unlike a plastic bag would, and everyone died except for me and Aneel.
We walked to this odd-looking building, which was apparently a police station. Aneel told the cops about everyone dying under the quilt, and one of the cops looked at me and said something along the lines of “death becomes the person who dances with pants of steel” and then, “you will be executed for the murder of 19 people!”
So I shout out, “BUT I’M SOCRATES!” And then I woke up.
Hehe. What a strange dream. I need to stop taking drugs.
Apples and such
I was so pissed off yesterday that I forgot to mention Candida and the apple. You know that bottom part of the apple that is on the exact underside of the stem? That’s the apple’s anus. You do not eat the apple’s anus.
What did Candida do yesterday? SHE ATE THE APPLE’S ANUS!!! She is no longer the Candida I once knew.
That Candida is dead to me.
But we are still in love.
Incompetent people suck.
I’m so pissed off about this whole situation I went through today. Let me lay it out for you:
I’m Teacher’s Aide for Mr. Kaag during 2nd hour. He asks me to go copy some tests, so I go up to the copy room to do it. In front of me in line are the two most incompetent girls I’ve seen in…well, a couple minutes, considering I was at high school. Anyway, they’re these two ditzy, scantily-clothed, room-temperature I.Q. chicks are laughing obnoxiously while they’re trying to figure out how to make copies. I mean really, people, how hard is it? You put the paper you want to copy on the tray. You press in (at most) 3 specifications. You press “start”. Simple, right? Not simple enough for these Neanderthal-like girls, who somehow manage to jam the machine at least 10 times–each time bending over to allow me a clear (and very unpleasant) view of their butt-cracks. Of course, I tried to help them, but gave up after about the 5th paper jam and spent the rest of the time waiting for them entertaining myself by banging my head repeatedly on the desk.
I can just see these two chicks IM-ing their friends later that night:
hotgurl39: OMG i like tottaly jamed the copymachine at shcool today!!!!hottieluv: dude u shouldve like gotten help form 1 of those geeky ppl
hotgur39: being a TA is hard!!!!! :P im going to like mary a smrt guy
hottieluv: hed be like bill gates and be rich and he could by u teh car you always wanted. hey are u goin to teh mall today with me and ali
hotgurl39: duh! i need new shoes!!!!! lol
Finally (after about an hour) they half-ass their way through enough copies to allow themselves to go back to their class, leaving me with the message, “I bet it won’t work for you, either!”
I flawlessly copied 40 13-page tests without jamming the copier.
ARRRRGH!!!! I hate incompetent people. When I become President of the United States, I’m going to be sure to fire promptly anyone who shows even the slightest bit of incompetence.
Pissed off.
Brilliant!
I just had the greatest idea–I’m going to make a pop-up book about my freaky friends!! This includes all of you (Amy, Aneel, Candida, E’raina, and Shannyn!). And it won’t be just any pop-up book, all boring and monotonous–it’ll be insulting and obnoxiously strange!!!
I love my ideas.
I love my butt.
Shameless Self-Promotion, Ren Fair, and Jell-o
I am shocked. I made it to my 6th post without promoting my website!! HOLY CRAP!
Check it out; it’s really cool. I recommend “The Heart Project.”
On to Ren Fair: I had to work from 3-5 today at the Band Booster booth making snow-cones. Hooray. Jacob was there, so I had someone to torture. Snow cones are gross, but at least I didn’t get stuck stirring the nasty plastic cheese and the vomit chili. Ew.
Also, I took some…er…”creative” pictures of expired Jell-o today. Very odd. I shall post them sometime in the near future…SINCE I’M DONE WITH MY GOVERNMENT FINAL AND MY TWO AP EXAMS!!!!!
Crap, I’m tired.
2 AP tests in a row. I do not recommend it. Especially when the second one is U.S. history, and that’s the one you’re rusty on because you took the class last year but forgot to turn in the money in time to get the test so you have to cram in several centuries of information into your head in a short period of time.
Blah. Tired. Sorry this one is so boring…I’m just about ready to die.
One Life Lesson and AP English
Today I shared one of life’s lessons with my friends: never take a Gerber jar and suck your lips into it until it turns your skin purple and you have to walk around with a purple ring around your mouth for a week. Just thought I’d like to share that.
I also took the AP English exam this morning, which lasted for 3 hours. Not a fun time, but I think I did okay. Tomorrow I have to take the AP History exam because we forgot to pay in time to take it last year. Poop.
Must…study…Reagan administration…
I am the Master of the Government Final!!
I turned in my government final on Monday for extra credit, and Mrs. Hall told me today that I got a 113! What complete happiness. I was having nightmares that I bombed the final–but no! I am the government final master. Bow to me, all ye lower-graded government students!
On a completely different note…
So I’m sitting here watching a rerun of Top Chef (“Nasty Delights”) before the new one comes on later tonight. And I’m thinking, “It’s not going to be the same without Stephen to shake things up”. Sure, he annoyed everyone, but he was interesting–definitely the antagonist of the group. Oh, well. I think I’ll download the whole show onto my iPod. Besides, Stephen kind of reminds me of someone…right, Aneel? (hint hint)
On another completely different note…
I tried to give blood yesterday but couldn’t cause I’m anemic. I don’t know why I didn’t write about that yesterday, but I didn’t. So yeah. Also, we (my mom and I) were sitting in the car being bored, so I pulled out the car’s manual. I then realized that the chapter regarding “starting and operating your vehicle” was chapter 7. 7! Who the crap designed this manual, and why did they put such a basic (not to mention crucial) chapter in the middle of the manual? Hm.
The end.
My Butt’s on Fire!
I wrote a cool poem…
There once was a man with two egos
Who both enjoyed wearing Speedos.
With one a nice man,
And the other’s huge glands,
They made girls who liked threesomes yell “neat-o!”
See? I am the master. I should win the Pulitzer Prize. However, this isn’t too different in style and substance than one I wrote when I was in 4th grade:
There once was a tart
Who learned how to fart
And stunk up the whole neighborhood.
Then there was a time
When he learned to rhyme
And farted as loud as he could.
He shook all the buildings, structures and towers
He wilted the trees, grasses and flowers.
He made the fish die–salmon and basses
He made people faint with his powerful gasses.
Some army men died
And most their wives cried
And buried them under dead grasses.
Odd, isn’t it? Still…
My First Post on MySpace
Alrightythen! I finally got a MySpace. People will now find it easier to stalk me. Anyways, since I’m obsessive-compulsive, I had to start this on the 1st of a Month–I wanted to start this a week or so ago, but NO–that would be in the middle of April. I’m tired now and I want to go to bed, but NO–that would mean I would have to wait another month to start.
Anyway, it’s all good. I’ll be here posting my thoughts every day. At least, that’s what I want to do.
The odds of it happening?
50:1.
Meh.
*just discovered all the smileys*
….HOLY CRAP!!!
…this is the best day of my life! I’m changing my current mood from “anxious” to “jubilant”!!!
Eigenblogger 