Are you ready for another “what the fuck” dream?

Last night’s dream featured Elizabeth Taylor (who I’m pretty sure is dead?) who had decided to purchase the earth for TWO HUNDRED TRILLION DOLLARS.

In a big press conference that was broadcast worldwide, Taylor said that she wanted to convert the whole world to the same climate and geography as Montana because, as she said in the press conference, “I was born in Montana and I’d really like the whole world to know how wonderful Montana is” (I’m pretty sure she was English?).

Anyway, as I’m watching this press conference in the dream, I remember thinking, “hey, Idaho is basically the same as Montana already, so maybe she’ll just leave it alone,” which was an oddly specific thought about the protection of my home state when places like THE HIMALAYAS and ANTARCTICA were going to get converted to freaking Billings.

There’s a panel of scientists also at this press conference who are all most likely being paid tons of $$$$ because they’re all basically kissing her ass and telling her that it’s “completely feasible” to convert everything on earth – including the oceans, by the way – to Montana’s climate and geography. They keep saying it will make the whole planet better. One scientist mentions very briefly that making the whole earth into Montana may have some negative consequences, but only at first. After the planet acclimates in about 500 years, everything will be fine. We just have to get through what he calls the “Montana droughts” first. But yeah. After that? Smooth sailin’.

It was just a…weird dream. I’m usually able to figure out what thoughts from the previous day prompt certain aspects of my dreams, but I have no idea why Elizabeth Taylor of all people was in there and I have no idea why EVERYTHING HAD TO BE MONTANA.

Odd news.