OH SHIT OH SHIT OH SHIT
Soooooooooooooooooooooooooo…
Remember my dream the other day? Remember how there was an explosion in Beirut in that dream?
It was the explosion in Beirut. The one that actually happened yesterday.
Like…I didn’t even make the connection until today. I read “explosion in Beirut” as a news story title on CNN yesterday and really thought nothing of it. You hear “explosion in Beirut” and you think, like, a car exploded or something.
It wasn’t until I saw a video of the explosion today – and saw how massive it was – that I connected the explosion in my dream to the actual explosion.
It is the same explosion. I’m not even kidding.
Like, this video?
That is what I saw in the dream. Almost exactly. Same angle, same intensity of explosion, everything.
That is creepy as fuck.
If there’s a similar explosion in France at some point soon, the end of the world is coming, yo.
Paper
Hahaha, I love this. What’s your paper title?
Mine is “Critiquing Silences as Performance.” That sounds like a real paper, actually.
LOOK AT THIS CLOUD AAAAAAAAAAAAAA
That is one seriously looming cloud. It’s supposed to storm later; wonder where it’s going to come from?
Edit: no storm at all, haha. Just a lot of wind.
So this was the most realistic-feeling and absolutely terrifying dream I’ve ever had.
The end of the world is coming and there’s nothing we can do to stop it. It’s irreversible. And much like the virus, the experience almost doesn’t seem real. It’s like watching a horror movie and waiting to see how the ending will resolve itself, all the time knowing that the movie is reality and the only resolution is the absolute end of everything.
We watch a live map of the world, waiting. Knowing that the end is coming. Knowing that we can’t stop it. We can only watch and wait. But there’s an expert with us, and he can tell us when it’s all about to be over. There’s a level of comfort in that, somewhere.
For a while there’s nothing. Then, an explosion. Beirut. It’s big enough that it can be seen from space. Live cameras in the city show the massive blast move outward from its epicenter with a speed and intensity that does not seem survivable.
Is it nuclear?
No. Not this one. The expert assures us that this is not the end.
Smoke fills the live camera views. Some cameras go offline. A shot from the ISS shows the explosion’s cloud breach the earth’s lower atmosphere and billow above it.
Another explosion. It is somewhere in France, but we can’t see the exact location because of all the smoke on the map.
Is this one nuclear?
No. Not this one, either. But the next one will be.
So we wait. Excited dread. Fearful hope that it will be quick and as painless as possible.
We wait.
We wait.
Then it happens.
A third explosion, big enough that it blots out the entire world map. All live cameras go black. The map shudders and goes blank.
This is it, the expert says.
This is it.
It’s like a dream. It can’t be real. This is something that would happen in a TV show or a book or a movie. Not real life. It can’t be real.
How long until we die? No one knows. No one is here to tell us anymore. The expert is suddenly gone.
I want my mom. I need to talk to my mom. I want her to be the last person I talk to. Somehow, by some miracle, I am able to message her over Skype.
Are you there?
Yes.
Are you scared?
Yes.
Me too.
I love you.
I love you, too.
I feel the wind, even though I’m in the house. It stings as if it’s filled with tiny needles. My body hurts. My lungs hurt. Then the walls of the house are gone.
Are you still there?
Yes.
I love you.
I love you, too.
The atmosphere feels like it’s collapsing in on itself. There is a terrible crushing feeling as everything starts to flatten. The horizon flattens. All houses that are still standing flatten. My vision is distorted. Everything hurts.
Are you still there?
Yes.
I love you.
I love you, too.
Everything hurts.
Everything hurts.
What could we have changed to prevent this?
Everything hurts.
Where is Nate?
Where is Jazzy?
All the creatures on the planet are dying a horrible, painful death.
Can we try again? We’ll get it right this time.
Are you still there?
Yes.
I love you.
I love you, too.
Everything hurts.
Please, can we try again?
Sound waves stop being able to fluctuate. First there is static, then there is nothing. Everything is too flat for sound.
Then everything is too flat for light.
Am I even alive, or is this what the end of life feels like?
I can’t be the only one. Not yet. Either we’re all dead or none of us are.
I can’t hear. I can’t see. I don’t know if I’m breathing.
I just know that it’s over. There is no more one last try.
Are you still there?
…
Hello?
…
…I love you.
SOUND THE ALARM
Hello friends. Today I want to share with you all of the alarms that I have on my phone.
Why, you ask?
Because that’s the kind of worthless content I’m sure you’ve all come to expect from me.
Because it’s…uh…interesting. Yeah, let’s go with that.
Anyway. Here is the list of all the alarm times I have as options on my phone:
- 00:00
- 00:10
- 00:15
- 00:30
- 00:45
- 01:30
- 02:00
- 02:20
- 02:20
- 02:30
- 02:34
- 02:38
- 02:40
- 02:47
- 02:55
- 03:00
- 03:05
- 03:10
- 03:20
- 03:25
- 03:30
- 03:31
- 03:32
- 03:35
- 03:36
- 03:37
- 03:40
- 03:42
- 03:45
- 03:50
- 03:51
- 03:55
- 04:00
- 04:05
- 04:10
- 04:15
- 04:20
- 04:30
- 04:33
- 04:35
- 04:40
- 04:45
- 04:51
- 04:55
- 05:00
- 05:05
- 05:10
- 05:13
- 05:15
- 05:20
- 05:30
- 05:35
- 05:36
- 05:40
- 05:41
- 05:43
- 05:45
- 05:46
- 05:50
- 05:55
- 06:00
06:05 - 06:08
- 06:12
- 06:15
- 06:20
- 06:25
- 06:27
- 06:30
- 06:32
- 06:35
- 06:40
- 06:42
- 06:45
- 06:47
- 06:50
- 06:52
- 06:55
- 07:00
- 07:05
- 07:15
- 07:20
- 07:25
- 07:30
- 07:35
- 07:40
- 07:45
- 07:55
- 08:00
- 08:07
- 08:10
- 08:15
- 08:20
- 08:24
- 08:25
- 08:26
- 08:27
- 08:30
- 08:35
- 08:39
- 08:40
- 08:45
- 08:53
- 08:54
- 09:00
- 09:05
- 09:10
- 09:15
- 09:25
- 09:30
- 09:45
- 10:00
- 10:30
- 10:45
- 10:48
- 11:35
- 11:56
- 12:15
- 12:20
- 12:25
- 12:30
- 12:48
- 12:50
- 13:45
- 13:40
- 13:45
- 13:48
- 14:30
- 14:40
- 14:50
- 15:00
- 15:30
- 15:40
- 15:45
- 17:05
- 17:15
- 17:30
- 17:40
- 17:45
- 18:00
- 21:45
- 21:50
- 22:30
- 23:15
- 23:20
- 23:30
- 23:50
I’m sure you have questions. Let me answer them.
Q: That’s 146 different alarms.
A: Not really a question, but…yes.
Q: Do you use them all in a single day?
A: God, no.
Q: Do you not have a snooze function on your phone?
A: I do have a snooze function on my phone. The problem with the snooze function is that my lizard brain goes “DO WHATEVER YOU CAN TO MAKE THE BEEPING STOP” and I will, in the half-daze of sleep, manage to disable it.
Q: Why are there several sequences of alarms going off every minute?
A: Because I really, really, really have trouble waking up.
Q: How many of these do you usually utilize to wake up in the morning?
A: I’d say anywhere from 10 to 30 of them. Depends on when I’m getting up.
Q: Why are there so many in the morning but not as many in the afternoon/night?
A: Because I’m usually up by that point. Usually.
Q: An alarm at 02:34 in the morning?
A: Yes.
Q: What the hell is wrong with you?
A: Many, many things.
Eigenblogger 