Claudia’s List o’ Petty Annoyances: April Fool’s Day Edition


Here’s a fun list of things that bug the ever-loving poop out of me.
Because I’m in a BAD MOOD and HATE APRIL FOOL’S DAY more than anybody rationally should and I need to RANT.

So here goes the list.

  • April Fool’s day.
  • People with a story the length of War and Peace who decide the best medium to use to tell such a story is Twitter. Yup, 800 140-character “not at all coherent on its own and hardly even coherent when read with the other freaking tweets” segments. That’s exactly how I want to read the thrilling tale of how Starbucks permanently scarred you by misspelling your name on your cup.
  • People who take the elevator to go down one floor. I get it if you have some sort of impairment that makes walking down stairs tough, but I see this way more frequently than the likelihood of such impairments would suggest.
  • The whole “yoga pants as everyday pants” thing. I didn’t see this as much when I was in Moscow, but up here, especially at U of C, it’s a very popular style. Comfort’s great, yeah, but seriously…it makes you look like you just rolled out of bed and threw on the first thing that was on the floor by the hamper. I’m the last person to be judging others’ fashion choices, but hey, I’m going to do it.
  • This is mostly on Tumblr/online in general, but I’m irrationally annoyed by the popularity of people announcing how tired they are. “I’m 104% tired.” “I feel like I’m already tired tomorrow.” So what do you want, a medal? If you’re honestly that tired, maybe try changing your lifestyle in some way?
  • All these remakes/sequels/live-action interpretations of 80’s and 90’s TV shows and movies. Yes, Millennials are the nostalgia generation in the sense that we have a very strong connection to the media of our childhoods. But do we really have to rehash every damn thing from Beauty and the Beast to The Powerpuff Girls to (edited to add) The Dark Crystal? And what’s worse, do we really have to be so dumb as to throw enough of our money at such a blatant attempt to profit off our nostalgia to the degree that we encourage the making of more of these atrocities?
  • Sequels in general. They don’t work, they’re not worth it. 95% of the time they fail at living up to the original (exceptions in my opinion: the Toy Storys, the Iron Mans, Home Alone 2).
  • The words “doggo” and “pupper.” They just bug me.
  • The expectation of now that Nate and I are married, we’re going to start pooping out kids. “So when are you going to start a family?” Um, we already are a family, you rude bag of antiquated societal spew, thanks for asking.
  • All the pedestrian-related stuff that I’m TOO ANGRY TO EVEN MENTION BECAUSE I THINK IT WOULD GIVE ME A BRAIN ANEURYSM.
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