I already miss school, haha


I am BORED OUT OF MY MIND, so I’m going to answer each of these survey questions with a haiku. Turn back now.

If you were to attend a costume party tonight, what or whom would you go as?
A costume party?
Is nudity a costume?
Best costume ever!

What are your choice of toppings on a hamburger?
A lot of mushrooms
And lots of cheese, too (hooray!)
Ignore this last line.

You are chosen to have lunch with the President. The condition is you only get to ask one question. What do you ask?
“Mr. President,
Could you bring Gottfried Leibniz
Back from the dead, please?”

It’s your first day of vacation, what are you doing?
Vacation? Hooray!
I’m doing internet stuff
Or finding music.

What is your concession stand must-have at the movies?
I don’t do movies,
At least not often. No food
But maybe water.

What do you think Captain Hook’s name was before he had a hook for a hand?
“Captain Hand,” maybe?
No, it was “Hook” all along.
Oh, the irony!

Rock, paper, or scissors?
“Rock, paper, scissors”
Is a good haiku first line.
I am great at this.

Let’s say a brick fell on your foot, and your kid is standing right next to you, what is your ‘cleaned up’ swear word?
I have a kid now?
Oh crap, where did he come from?
(Does he enjoy stats?)

Which is worse, being in a place that is too loud, or too quiet?
I don’t like too loud.
Even the ‘net can be loud.
CAPS LOCK IS LOUD, RIGHT?

What is one quality that you really appreciate in a person?
Yes: genuineness.
A person true to themselves
Is very awesome.

At the good old general store, what particular kind of candy would you expect to be in the big jar at the counter?
Candy in big jars?
Not sure I’ve ever seen that.
I want M&M’s.

What is the most distinguishing landmark in your city?
Likely the Tower.
Or that sculpture that burns dudes.
Silly Calgary.

Everyone hears discussions that they consider boring. What topic can put you to sleep quicker than any other?
Money or finance.
I really don’t care that much
About stocks and bonds.

If you had to have the same topping on your vanilla ice cream for the rest of your life, what topping would you choose?
Just one? Nuts, I think.
Or awesome rainbow sprinkles.
Rainbows are the best.

What food item would need to be removed from the market altogether in order for you to live a healthier, longer life?
Most likely chocolate.
Specifically, M&Ms.
Though then I’d be sad.

You are offered an envelope that you know contains $50. You are then told that you may either keep it or exchange it for another envelope that may contain $500 or may be empty. Do you keep the first envelope, or do you take your chances with the second?
I’d take my chances.
500 bucks would be sweet,
And quite worth the risk.

If you had to choose, which would you give up: cable TV, or DSL/cable internet?
Goodbye to TV,
Since all I could ever want
Starts “http.”

What kind of lunch box did you have as a kid?
It was hard and square
Mostly purple and some pink
I put worms in it.

What would you rather have, a nanny, a housekeeper, a cook, or a chauffeur?
None of the above.
I can clean and cook just fine
And do not want kids.

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