So I found this link to a page listing 62 questions to ask on a first date.
Since I’m probably never going to have another first date ever, I’m going to just answer them here. Just pretend you’re on a first date with me.
Run while you can.
What three U.S. cities would you never, ever move to even for the job offer of your dreams?
I don’t think I’d want to live anywhere in the south, mainly because of the humidity/heat. But I’d have to visit more cities first to determine which ones I’d definitely avoid.
What combination of fixings makes your perfect burrito?
Refried beans, ground beef, sour cream, and cheese. And that’s it.
What is the best gift you’ve ever received?
Rock Band 2 was pretty freaking awesome, both because I was totally not expecting it and because it let the roomies and me keep pretending we were actual rock stars in an actual band and on an actual tour.
What is the most thoughtful gift you’ve ever given?
I don’t know, actually. I can’t currently recall any recent gifts I’ve given.
Who is your role model or has had the biggest influence on your life?
LEIBNIZ. [insert 50 minute rave about Leibniz during which my date slinks away undetected while I ramble]
Do you have any nicknames?
Not that I know of.
What’s one thing you wish you had known as a freshman in college?
What I really wanted to do with my education. I didn’t even want to go to college there at the beginning. HOW QUICKLY THAT CHANGED.
How many siblings do you have?
Do you consider yourself a morning person or a night owl?
I’m such an extreme night owl that I’m practically a morning person. I’ve consistently been going to bed around 9 AM and waking up at 11 AM for the past few weeks. At least, that’s what happens when I actually do sleep.
How long did it take you to start enjoying coffee?
What do your parents do for a living?
Mom: web designer at the U of I disabilities center.
Dad: soils/environmental science professor at the U of I.
What quality is your automatic “no fucking way” when pursuing a potential relationship?
Obviously being cruel (to animals and people), but another one is when they treat wait staff/ servers poorly. That says a lot about a person.
What are two of your bucket list items?
End up in a job I really, really, really love. I know that’s kind of a weird bucket list item, but what the hell.
Visit Leibniz’ archives in Hanover. This could easily be combined with the previous item.
Have you ever kept a New Year’s resolution?
A few. Blogging daily, acquiring a new song daily, all that frivolous stuff.
Were you closer with your mom or your dad growing up?
My mom, definitely. She’s awesome!
What is something you are financially saving up for currently?
Tuition and housing.
Where is your happy space?
In my head. With my own fantasies. You’re not invited.
What is your favorite article of clothing you own?
I like my lime green baggy pants. I also like my Leibniz shirt and my Hume shirt, though I could buy replacements of those two shirts if necessary.
Do you have any specialty cooking dishes?
Apparently my scrambled eggs are pretty good, but other than that, no.
What is one job you could never do?
Due to physical limitations, I could never do a job that required me to rely on my sense of smell. But as for like personal preferences, I probably could never do a business/finance type job, just ‘cause I think it would make me insane. That’s NOT an area that interests me at all.
When is your birthday?
What is in your fridge right now?
Lots of moldy stuff. LOTS of moldy stuff. And broccoli.
What are you worse at than 90 percent of the population?
Probably anything involving flexibility, like touching toes or anything like that.
Do you believe in aliens?
I believe there is life that exists outside of this planet, yes (and I don’t mean like in the ISS or something).
Do you think it’s the little things or grand gestures that count the most?
Depends on the situation.
Have you ever been out of the country?
What fact about you surprises people the most?
My age? People always think I’m younger, ‘cause I’m SO SHORT.
What do you do for a living?
What’s the most spontaneous thing you’ve ever done?
Probably my industrial piercing in my right ear. I was under the influence of Aaron and his wiles.
What’s your ideal vacation?
I like cruises, having been on a few before. I think it would be cool to do an around the world cruise (though I think that’d count as a little more than just a vacation, haha).
If you could live in any other U.S. city, which city would you live in?
I’d like to live in New York. I like big cities. Chicago’d be coolio, too.
What was your favorite family vacation growing up?
I don’t remember us ever going too many places. I always liked going down to my grandma’s/grandpa’s house in California ‘cause that house is huge and fun.
Are you a big fan of any major pro sports team?
What was your favorite subject in school?
Now or when I was in like high school? I guess I liked drama the best in high school. Or band. Now it’s math/stats.
What are you better at than 90 percent of the population?
If you could travel back to any one point in time what would it be?
1676 Europe. I’m sure you can guess why.
What is the proudest moment or greatest achievement of your life so far?
Finishing that damn psych masters, mainly ‘cause everything was working against it. It’s not a degree I’m particularly proud of or anything (everybody does psych), but hey, it got me teaching stats at UI, which has been the best thing EVER.
How did you meet your best friend?
I don’t have a best friend. Unless I count my mom, in which case…
If you could be any animal, what would you be?
I have no idea. Something colorful and obnoxious. A mouthy parrot!
Salty snacks or desserts?
Depends on the time/day.
What is a family tradition your family has?
I don’t know if it’s a tradition as much as a routine, but we have two Christmases. On Christmas Eve, we go to my mom’s house and open presents and all that fun stuff, then on Christmas day we go to my dad’s house and do the same thing.
What do you think is the most important life lesson for someone to learn?
I can’t think of anything that’s not totally cliché. What do you want, it’s 4 AM.
What was your favorite toy growing up?
What counts as growing up?
I remember one Easter my dad gave me this little fuzzy chick toy that cheeped when you touched the bottom of its feet. I fell in love with it and named it Fred. Over the course of the next few years I acquired 26 total, one for each letter of the alphabet.
I can still remember their names, too: Adam, Bill, Candy, David, Ed, Fred, Greg, Herbert, Ivan, Jacob, Kiwi, Lena, Marie, Nelson, Opus, Peachy, Quince, Rachel, Sylvester, Tom, Ursula, Veronica, Walter, Xena, Yvonne, Zachary.
Who was your favorite teacher or professor?
Dr. Abo is freaking awesome. If you’re ever at the U of I and have to take a math class, take it from him if possible.
Alex (Dr. Woo) is pretty amazing, too.
What is the best advice you’ve received?
To not throw off the emperor’s groove.
(Bewaaaaare the grooooove!)
What’s the luckiest thing that’s ever happened to you?
I think I was lucky to be able to finish my first undergrad in 2.5 years. I wouldn’t have been able to do that had I not (unknowingly) taken the right classes in the right semesters. Also, I was lucky to be able to get the second degree in the following spring semester. One of the classes needed was not supposed to be offered in the spring, and yet it was offered that spring for whatever weird reason.
What do you feel people take for granted the most?
Electricity, cars, indoor plumbing, all that modern stuff that makes our world run.
What do you like the most about (insert city of residence)?
I like that it’s a college town. I lived here until I was 21 and I always remember really liking the idea of there being a university here. It helped that my parents worked on campus, haha.
What is the craziest scene or event you have ever witnessed?
Uh…Rock Band with my roommates?
Nonono wait…drunk Rock Band with my roommates.
What is your biggest pet peeve?
People who lack courtesy/common sense when walking in a public place/on a public sidewalk. Treat it like a road—walk to the right! And don’t dawdle like a fartface and don’t walk with a group of friends so that you take up the whole sidewalk and don’t weave for the love of GOD how hard is that?!?
What was the worst job you’ve ever had?
I’ve never had a truly “bad” job. There’s been at least one where I was like “WHY THE HELL am I here doing this nonsense?” but we won’t talk about that.
What was the last book you read?
I think it was Leibniz: An Intellectual Biography, but if we’re talking about fiction, it was The Jungle.
When you were younger, what did you want to be when you grew up?
I wanted to be an artist for awhile. Then I wanted to be whatever I needed to be to work in Antarctica (I didn’t know what types of people worked down there).
What was something that recently moved you?
If I say Leibniz’ biography, will you just run out on me? ‘Cause I’m gonna say it. Specifically the last chapter. He did not deserve such injustice!
What skill or talent do you wish you had or were better at?
I wish I could write better. I know my writing is terrible as all hell on my blog, that doesn’t bother me. But when I actually want to write a story, I wish I was better than I am.
If you just won $1 million, what would you do with it?
First, I’d give my mom half of it. Then I’d pay immediate school expenses, save some for a trip to Hanover, save some for a fun cruise, and probably save the rest.
If you had a superpower what would it be?
Invisibility would be cool. Time manipulation would be more useful, though.
What are you passionate about?
Statistics, math, history of math, blogging, Leibniz, the internet.
What is your favorite movie?
Are you a cat person, a dog person, both or neither?
Definitely a cat person.
What do you think is your greatest strength?
I’m quite persistent when I have a goal I want to accomplish.
What is the last vegetable you would ever want to be?
What an…odd question.
Probably celery. Celery is the stringy jerk of the vegetable world.