So here’s Calgary, right?

Here’s how far Calgary is from Moscow.

How do you think I would fly from Moscow to Calgary?

Well, the nearest international airport is in Spokane, which is here:

Reasonable route:

Would you agree?

Well, here’s how you actually get from Moscow to Calgary:

Dafuq, Alaska Airlines?

Also, all the layovers in SeaTac are like SIX HOURS LONG. Like I haven’t spent enough time in that airport.

(I know, I know, pointless complaining.)