A typical “Claudia Fails in Hilarious Ways” day proceeds as follows:
It’s 2.19 miles to my office from my house, and after walking about 40 miles in the past few days, I had TWO MILES TO GO to reach 850 total walking miles for the year by the time today rolled around. But I was late getting going this morning, so to save time I decided to ride my bike to my office instead.
- Ended up riding through a cloud of angry bees and getting stung on the inside of my lip twice.
- Spent like 10 minutes trying to frantically extricate the stingers (while spitting pieces of bee out of my mouth…ew) with no mirror and while parked on the side of a busy street (this happened about halfway in between home and work). Keep in mind that I’ve never gotten stung by a bee before, so I wasn’t sure whether to just expect pain or to expect anaphylactic shock. Luckily the latter didn’t happen.
- Finally got to campus; was going to ride to Rite Aid to get some Benadryl or something but I had work to do and stuff to post for class so I just said “screw it.”
- Spent my last $1.50 in cash buying something cold from a vending machine to ice my lip. Of course, I had to buy a pop, ‘cause the vending machine that vends bottled water was broken. Now I have a random pop that I guess I’ll just store in my office.
- And my lip looks like the victim of a really lopsided collagen injection. Hoping that diminishes by Monday’s class.
It’s like the universe said “HAHA YOU STUPID, that’s what you get for trying to cheat the system.”
Oh well. Gotta walk home now anyway; at least I’ll hit 850 as long as I don’t inhale a snake or something. *optimism*
Edit: 854 miles! Take that, bees!