Dear Phoenix Suns:


Why is your mascot not a guy ablaze in a fire-safe suit?

Wait.

WHY IS YOUR MASCOT NOT THE SUN?!?!

It’s not like he wouldn’t show up to the games if you just open a few blinds.
Or better yet, retrofit your stadium with a sun roof like those stadiums whose roofs open.
“Everybody give it up for the Phoenix Suns’ mascot, The Sun!”
Everyone: “OH GOD MY EYES!”

The Suns should officially be the most terrifying NBA team ever.

“Aw, how cute, you guys are the Chicago Bulls?” *roasts* “Now you fools are the Chicago STEAKS!”
“The Orlando Magic, huh?.” *solar flare* “2 MILLION DEGREES KELVIN! THERE’S SOME MAGIC FOR YA!”
“Houston Rockets, we have a problem!”

It’d be an interesting match-up with the Miami Heat, though.

Sorry, I’m done.

2 responses

  1. Guy ablaze in a fire suit totally needs to happen.

    Like

  2. […] Sports: The inanity of basketball team names. […]

    Like

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