Sleep Deprivation Makes Me Cooooool.

Theory: Cinnamon Toast Crunch is Cap’n Crunch’s estranged son who, rebelling aginst his father’s wishes that he join the Navy, took up a life of stripping. His real name’s like Gary or something and “Cinnamon Toast” is just his stage name.

I’d like to know how that went down when Cap’n Crunch found out.

Like one day The Cap’n comes home from a long day of Crunchatizing and finds li’l Gary taking off all his cinnamon in a bowl of milk to the tune of “You Sexy Thing.”

“Dad! I uh…what are you doing home so early?”
“Son, what are you doing?”
“I, uh…just…”
“Get out of the milk, son.”
“But da—”
“Get out of the milk.”

Completely unrelated:

2 responses

  1. Best post I’ve heard in weeks!!!!


    1. Haha, thank you!


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