Gift of the Magikarp


I suddenly have an insatiable urge to acquire Pokemon cards.  I had quite an impressive collection way back when. I also remember being the only girl in elementary school who was into Pokemon.

I miss my Gameboy Color, too. It was sexy.

Anyway, here is a list of my 10 favorite Pokemon. Just ‘cause.

 

Snorlax

I adore Snorlax. He’s such a fat dude. Any creature whose abilities include “thick fat” has to be awesome. I always tried to play him in my deck as often as possible, haha.

 

Psyduck

This is the creepiest Pokemon ever. Its powers stem from something akin to chronic migraines, which makes me wonder, in its picture, whether its staring into the water to concentrate or contemplating suicide.
“Psyduck are usually unable to think very clearly due to having a chronic headache. Because of the headache, a Psyduck will always hold its head. When these headaches worsen, Psyduck may use psychic powers.”
What if that principle held for humans? “Uh oh, migraine coming on…guess I’ll have to USE AMNESIA!”

 

Sudowoodo

Apparently this is a rock-type Pokemon. I was unaware of this. I wonder why a rock Pokemon would desire to disguise itself as a tree rather than anything else. Now I am even more intrigued by this club-branched weirdo.

 

Porygon

These should always be named Tron.

 

Ditto

Silly Putty Pokemon! I thought this was always one of the coolest Pokemon in terms of moves.
“When two Ditto meet in the wild, they will attempt to transform into each other.”
And this is how black holes are formed.

 

Diglett

Diglett is cuter than hell. He’s also the first Pokemon I was ever introduced to, so I think I have a soft spot in my heart for him.

 

Metapod

Yes, I’m aware that my liking Metapod basically makes me the most boring person on the planet. But I always thought it was one of the cooler-looking dudes. It also lends itself to jokes like this:

 

Voltorb

Every time I see one of these I have to think of how often they would be mistaken for pokeballs. What kind of weird evolutionary tactic is that? “Hey, I’m actually a Pokemon sitting here in the grass and HEY STOP TRYING TO SHOVE ANOTHER POKEMON INTO ME WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU ASH YOU DILETTANTE POKEMASTER!

 

Magneton

It’s a molecule! That’s why I always liked it, it looked like H3 or something.
“Magneton is most commonly seen as one Magnemite on top, and two Magnemite linked via body on the bottom, forming a triangle.”
Bow-chicka-wow-wow.
They can also get hungry and have emotions, apparently.

 

Machamp

Machamp was the first holographic card I ever got; thus I have a soft spot in my heart for it. That’s about all I’ve got for Machamp, haha.

 

 

Today’s song: Horchata by Vampire Weekend

 

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