Diggety Diggety Bald Peeps Wear Wiggeties
Well hi.
Today my mom was way too nice to me (like she always is) and bought me a metric ton of earrings, along with some other things.
Prompted to continue to look for things to buy (because I have issues), I was looking at watches on Amazon, ‘cause that’s what I do (and because I wanted to see if my favorite watch would ship to Calgary, should I ever need another replacement) and I came across a pretty great review for a Casio calculator watch:
I’ve always wanted a calculator watch. Now that I’m pushing 30, I felt that I’m an adult and I can do what I want and I want to buy a calculator watch, dammit. Yeah, I said it. You’re not my mom. Deal with it.
It’s great. It has dual time, a stopwatch, alarm, tells the date and day of the week, AND A FRIGGIN’ CALCULATOR. If you wear it tightly enough, you can feel your pulse. So it’s like an Apple Watch only it costs under $20, has a 3 year manufacturer’s warranty, and the battery lasts five years. Doesn’t send text messages, but you can write such words as ‘BOOBS’, ‘BOOBIES’, ‘BOOBLESS’, ‘BEES’, and ‘SHOE’. So if you’re a man of few words and your friend is right next to you, it’s basically the same as iMessage.
Knocked off a star because the screen seems to lack some contrast. Not sure if it’s permanent or the battery is low. Can’t recharge the battery, so I don’t know.
Haha.
Side note: I’m loving these small, low profile Casio watches. This is the one that I’ve been wearing for a while now, but Casio’s got quite a few watches that are super small and compact and make it feel like you’re not wearing a watch at all. If you’re on the lookout for a small, barely-there watch that works great, give this one a try.
WHOA
I AM GOING TO PEE MY PANTS
LOOK AT THIS BEAUTIFUL THING
Midnight Planétarium from Van Cleef & Arpel’s Poetic Astronomy series.
One of the comments on the video: “In addition to telling time by way of a shooting star that rotates along the outmost area of the face, the watch more prominently features an accurate rotation and representation of the Earth and the five other planets visible from here around the sun—Mercury in 88 days, Venus in 224, Earth in a year, Mars in 687 days, Jupiter in 12 years and Saturn in 29. It’s a very complex watch and a true display of supreme watchmaking. But as complicated as the piece is—with 396 parts to the movement—it’s also beautiful.”
FREAKING
CRAP
I really need to get a book (or two) on watchmaking, ‘cause these things are becoming a bit of an obsession.
I’M WATCHING YOU
If I’m ever in a city with one of these stores, I’m spending like 15 hours in it and no one will be able to stop me.
I like to think I’m not a very materialistic person, but I really like fancy-ass watches.
Pretty ones:
More Haute Horology
Incredibly ostentatious watches are like my favorite things now.
This is the Antoine Martin Slow Runner (picture from here).
I love how celestial it looks. And check out the video on the site linked above. It looks like it’s breathing!
Now, a watch from De Bethune (picture from here):
Finally, the Patek Philippe Sky Moon Tourbillon (picture from here).
They’re so preeeeeeeeeetty.
WATCH PORN
No, that wasn’t a command. I meant “watch porn” as in this beautiful nonsense right here:
This is the Aeternitas Mega 4, designed by Franck Muller, and is apparently the most complicated wristwatch ever made (it’s also like 2 million dollars so yeah).
The Aeternitas Mega 4 is an example of haute horology, which is basically like extreme pimping of a car, except the car is a watch and the pimping is like, “let’s see how many dials we can put on this thing!”
MOAR!
Yeah, this is pretty much awesome.
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