This is quite possibly the WEIRDEST movie in the world. In the universe. I must share this trip with you, so this is the general summary (I’d warn for spoilers, but…well…):

So this is apparently set awhile after the original The Brave Little Toaster, and Rob and Christine have had a baby (Robbie, of course). One night, an old Hearing Aid gets out of the junk drawer and it is discovered by Toaster that he is communicating to someone in space. The old gang of appliances decides to watch him the next night, but they fall asleep and wake up just in time to see Robbie, in a bubble, float off to Mars under a big beam of light.

(Let’s stop for a minute. The little kid, IN A BUBBLE, goes to Mars. Keep in mind that this has all been masterminded by a HEARING AID.

Okay, got that?

It gets weirder.)

They consult a computer that gives them the magic formula for space flight: a microwave, popcorn, a laundry basket, and the Ceiling Fan. Alert NASA! In space, they sing a rousing song about floating with a bunch of balloons (it’s worth mentioning again that they’re in SPACE here, where appliances still can sing, balloons don’t pop, and gravity is doin’ fine) before crashing on Mars.

(At about this point I ponder taking some acid to see if that would make this movie make sense.)

Now on Mars, the appliances meet a group of military toasters (never thought I’d use those two words in such close conjunction) as well as a Christmas angel named Tinselina (why she has a name and everything else is just Toaster, Blankie, or Mr. Coffee is a mystery). They learn that the Supreme Commander (a refrigerator, of course) is plotting to blow up the earth—such a COLD and HEARTLESS leader! Toaster, however, with his spunky personality and knack for coming up with musical numbers off the top of his head, wins an election against the fridge and becomes the new Supreme Commander.

Following this, there’s some really weird reunion between two Hearing Aids, an “oh crap, we FORGOT TO DEACTIVATE THE EARTH-BOUND DEATH ROCKET moment,” and a sacrifice of material (a.k.a. clothes) from Christmas Angel (if the other appliances don’t get unique names, neither does she) to get them back home.

And, of course, a happy ending. Robbie’s first word is, appropriately, “Toaster,” and life goes on for the talking appliances.

You all seriously need to see this. Weirdest damn movie ever.

God, if I had a kid and its first word was “toaster,” I’d probably shoot myself. Of course, my first word was “tick-tock,” so I probably shouldn’t be talking. Maybe when I was real young I had a similar adventure…”The Brave Old Grandfather Clock Goes to Alpha Centauri” or something.