Haha, this is pretty funny. My favorites are in red.
One day, all of the world’s famous physicists decided to get together for a party (ok, there were some non-physicists too who crashed the party). Fortunately, the doorman was a grad student, and able to observe some of the guests…
– Everyone gravitated toward Newton, but he just kept moving around at a constant velocity and showed no reaction.
– Einstein thought it was a relatively good time.
– Coulomb got a real charge out of the whole thing.
– Cauchy, being the mathematician, still managed to integrate well with everyone.
– Thompson enjoyed the plum pudding.
– Pauli came late, but was mostly excluded from things, so he split.
– Pascal was under too much pressure to enjoy himself.
– Ohm spent most of the time resisting Ampere’s opinions on current events.
– Hamilton went to the buffet tables exactly once.
– Volta thought the social had a lot of potential.
– Hilbert was pretty spaced out for most of it.
– Heisenberg may or may not have been there.
– Feynman got from the door to the buffet table by taking every possible path
– The Curies were there and just glowed the whole time.
– Millikan dropped his Italian oil dressing.
– Hollerith liked the hole idea.
– Stefan and Boltzman got into some hot debates.
– Everyone was attracted to Tesla’s magnetic personality.
– Compton was a little scatter-brained at times.
– Bohr ate too much and got atomic ache.
– Watt turned out to be a powerful speaker.
– Hertz went back to the buffet table several times a minute.
– Faraday had quite a capacity for food.
– Oppenheimer got bombed.
– The microwave started radiating in the background when Penzias and Wilson showed up.
– Gamow left the party early with a big bang while Hoyle stayed late in a steady state.
– For Schrodinger this was more a wave function rather than a social function.
– Skorucak wanted to put everybody on his web site.
– Erdos was sad no epsilons were invited.
– Born thought the probability of enjoying himself was pretty high.
– Instead of coming through the front door Josephson tunneled through.
– Groucho refused to attend any party that would invite him in the first place.
– Niccolò Tartaglia kept stammering throughout the evening.
– Pauling wanted to bond with everyone.
– Keynes was keen to question the marginal utility of this party.
– Shakespeare could not decide whether to be or not to be at the party.
– John Forbes Nash wanted to play an n-person zero sum game.
– Pavlov brought his dog; which promptly chased after Schrodinger’s cat.
– Zeno of Elea came with two friends – Achilles and the tortoise.
– Bill Gates came to install windows.
– Bertrand Russell kept wondering if the cook only cooks for the guests, who cooks for the cook?
– Witten bought a present all tied up with superstrings.
– The food was beautifully laid out by Mendeleyev on the periodic table.
– Chadwick was handing out neutrons free of charge.
– Everyone was amazed at Bell’s inequality.
– Watson and Crick danced the Double Helix.
– Fermat sang, ‘Save the Last Theorem for me.’
– Maxwell’s demon argued with Dawkin’s friend, the selfish Gene.
– Russell and Whitehead insisted on checking the bill for completeness and consistency.
– Godel said it was incomplete and it can never be proved otherwise.
– Epimenides the Cretan announced that only non-Cretans spoke the truth.
– Rontgen saw through everybody.
– Descartes cogitated, ‘I think I am drunk. Therefore I am at the party.’