HOLY CRAP I haven’t laughed this hard in like 500 years.

A constrained writing technique called N+7 (or sometimes S+7), invented by Jean Lescure, a member of Ouliop, “involves replacing each noun in a text with the seventh one following it in a dictionary.”

I found a site that does this for any block of text you enter, and will actually do N+1 (one word following the original in the dictionary) to N+15. Things get pretty funny pretty quickly with almost any text, but if you want a hilarious example, read the Lolita example. Oh my god. The excerpt keeps getting funnier the further out the words go from the original.

• Lolita, lighter of my lifeboat, firearm of my loincloths.
• Look at this tango of thoroughfares.
• My sing, my soup.
• Look at this tannery of threesomes.
• Look at this tantrum of three-wheelers.
• Did she have a prefix? She did, indeed she did.
• You can always countersign on a mussel for a farmhouse protectorate subgroup.
• My siphon, my soviet.

I think I’m going to have a brain aneurism from laughing so hard.