Time Before Land
HEYOOOOOOOOOOO so did you watch (and love) The Land Before Time as a kid?
I did.
But I never watched any of the 10+ sequels.
Lucky for us, though, Alteori did, and she’s got hilarious reviews of all of them in a big YouTube playlist.
Her review of the first one is pretty chill, but they get more hysterical as the movies get worse. Her laugh is infectious.
Chocklit
Hahaha, this is great. I’d actually never seen Forrest Gump until I was like 16. We were supposed to watch it in shop class in 7th grade (yes, I took shop class) on the day before Christmas break, but someone mentioned that there were bare boobies in it and our shop teacher flipped out, screamed at us to keep working on our projects instead, and stormed into his office.
I’d never seen such an adverse reaction to the mention of boobs.
Anyway.
The review is funny. A couple of the lines are just great:
“Forrest run-Forrest-runs right through a college football game and the football coaches are like, “Gwuuuuuhhhhhh!???!!?!?!” and they hire him to play football for their college even though he is clearly 45 years old.”
“That’s when Gump meets Bubba, who is secretly 100,000 live, writhing shrimp standing on each other’s shoulders wearing a human suit.”
“We’re back on the bus bench! Forrest is like, “Yep, I got this letter that I should come visit Jennay, so I’m on my way to her apartment,” and the people on the bench are like, “FUCKING FINALLY, MY FAMILY THINKS I’M DEAD,” and then some old lady gives him directions and it’s denouement o’clock.”
Haha, sorry, I got nothing else today.
But hey, it’s supposed to snow tomorrow!
Question: who should watch Watchmen?
Answer: everyone should!
For those of you who haven’t read the novel/watched the movie and intend to at some point, spoilers abound in this blog, so I would skip it if you don’t want things ruined.
Things I enjoyed:
- I don’t think I’ve ever been so impressed with opening credits as I was in this movie. I loved the way they went over the whole history of the Minutemen and the masked heroes while rolling the opening credits to Bob Dylan’s The Times They are a Changin’ (very appropriate choice of music, too).
- Rorschach. They did a wonderful job with his character.
- Matching the style to the style in the novel. BEAUTIFUL. That is the only word for it. If you saw any of the previews that featured a scene of Archie (Nite Owl’s ship) rising out of the water, that scene looked EXACTLY like it did in the novel. And so did like 97% of the rest of the movie.
- The story. Even though they had to change the ending in order to prevent the movie from running like 5 hours long, they still did an excellent job.
Things that could have been better:
- The sex scene. It’s like five minutes too long—which means that there’s an at least five minute long sex scene. But hey, it’s Hollywood, so I was kind of expecting it.
- Laurie’s hair. The fact that it looked SO MUCH like a wig ALL THE TIME was really distracting, but that might just be me.
- The costumes. Laurie’s costume was a bit too Spandexy, Veidt’s costume a bit too Batman-esque, everything generally too dark. I know that royal purple and gold neck bands don’t really work with Hollywood style, but I would have liked it if the costumes were more like the scenery and stuck closer to the novel.
- One piece of cut dialogue. In the novel, at the end, after Veidt averts the attention from nuclear war by killing millions of people, he and John talk for a minute and Veidt asks John if he’d done the right thing. This little bit of dialogue was missing in the movie, which was really disappointing, ‘cause I thought it made Veidt a much more believable, human character.
Yay. Go see it.
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