Hahaha, this is great. I’d actually never seen Forrest Gump until I was like 16. We were supposed to watch it in shop class in 7th grade (yes, I took shop class) on the day before Christmas break, but someone mentioned that there were bare boobies in it and our shop teacher flipped out, screamed at us to keep working on our projects instead, and stormed into his office.
I’d never seen such an adverse reaction to the mention of boobs.
The review is funny. A couple of the lines are just great:
“Forrest run-Forrest-runs right through a college football game and the football coaches are like, “Gwuuuuuhhhhhh!???!!?!?!” and they hire him to play football for their college even though he is clearly 45 years old.”
“That’s when Gump meets Bubba, who is secretly 100,000 live, writhing shrimp standing on each other’s shoulders wearing a human suit.”
“We’re back on the bus bench! Forrest is like, “Yep, I got this letter that I should come visit Jennay, so I’m on my way to her apartment,” and the people on the bench are like, “FUCKING FINALLY, MY FAMILY THINKS I’M DEAD,” and then some old lady gives him directions and it’s denouement o’clock.”
Haha, sorry, I got nothing else today.
But hey, it’s supposed to snow tomorrow!