SO SPEAKING OF MALLS…
Let me regale you with an embarrassing moment of mine.
Yes, there are still plenty that I have not yet mentioned in my nearly 19 years of daily blogging.
Sad, huh?
Anyway.
The year was 2000. We had just transitioned into a new millennium. The youngest Gen Z-ers were in preschool. Beanie Babies were beginning to lose the stranglehold they had on the collectible toy market. I was in sixth grade. Malls were still an important part of life and were, arguably, thriving.
Also, the first version of The Sims was released.
I didn’t buy The Sims right when it came out because I didn’t know about it. But a few years later, I had my own laptop, a consistent “allowance” (I put it in quotes because I never actually did anything to earn it, haha) from my dad, and knowledge of this wonderful simulation game that sounded like it was right up my alley.
We also had a Toys ‘R’ Us in the Palouse Mall and I knew that this store carried The Sims. I want to say that the game cost something like $50 (I could be totally wrong about this, though), but I neeeeeeded it so I had to save up some allowance over several weeks before having enough to buy it.
If you think I’m shy and socially awkward now, you should have seen me as a preteen. I got nervous talking to anyone about anything, so imagine how anxiety-producing a monetary transaction was.
But I neeeeeeded The Sims, so one Saturday morning, I worked up the courage to go into Toys ‘R’ Us, grab a copy of the game, and march up to the cashier to pay for it. From the moment I walked into the store, my brain was like get this over with get this over with get this over with, so all I wanted to do was pay and flee. But before I could do so, the cashier took a quick look at the game I’d put on the counter and said, “you know this is the Mac version, right?”
Nope.
Nope, I did not know that.
I hadn’t even thought about that. Again, get this over with get this over with get this over with. I just grabbed the first copy of the game I saw so that I could get out of a situation that, according to my 12-year-old brain, was as life-threatening as getting chased by a polar bear.
But because my 12-year-old brain thought this situation was as life-threatening as getting chased by a polar bear, I still just wanted to get this over with get this over with get this over with. So I just nodded, paid for the game, and fled.
And as you can probably guess, I did not want the Mac version. I had a PC. I needed the PC version. But I was too embarrassed and afraid to be like “oh, oops, I’ll grab the correct copy!” and instead just ended up spending $50 on a VERSION OF THE GAME THAT I COULDN’T EVEN PLAY.
I can’t even be mad at Baby Claudia, though, because Current Claudia would probably still do the same thing.
But yeah. I kept the $50 Mac version (I think I ended up giving it to one of my friends at some point) and lived in my humiliation for several more weeks before I was able to save up enough money to BUY THE GAME AGAIN. I also had to wait until that same cashier wasn’t working so that I could avoid ultimate humiliation.
BEING SHY SURE HAS ITS PERKS, DOESN’T IT
Ah, Hell With It
This won’t be the first time I’ve humiliated myself on this blog, and it certainly won’t be the last.
So let’s get to it!
Remember back in the summer when I was off the wall enthused by all those home movies that we finally got converted to digital form?
And remember how I posted like three of them and then you never heard about them again?
Yyyyyeahhhhhhhhhh, that’s ‘cause I got busy.
But I’m still working through them! So in the spirit of “better late than never,” here’s the next installment.
Back in the summer between fifth grade and sixth grade (I think?) I took my mom’s camcorder, a brand new blank tape, and filled said tape with a whole bunch of nonsense that I dubbed “The Fifth Grade Movie.”
It’s basically me being super hyperactive in my room and filming a bunch of shorts, improvised songs, commercials, and interviews.
A few notes:
- I am an only child. This whole video is proof of why I’m an only child.
- This is how an only child entertains themselves. A least in my case.
- I call everything “Tony” because this was during the time that I was obsessed with the “Hey Tony!” Frosted Flakes commercials. Don’t ask questions.
- This is not me acting for the camera. I was just like this. Ask my classmates.
- Yes, my room is very, very messy.
- I sure screeched a hell of a lot, didn’t I?
- My FREAKING HAIR
- I have no idea how my mom put up with me.
You are under no obligation to watch this. In fact, just skip it for sanity’s sake.
