Tag Archives: germans

I just had the weirdest fucking dream about waffles

‘Cause why not, right, brain?

Anyway, in my dream, CNN did this big story about how someone (it was heavily implied that it was Trump) was putting microscopic GPS trackers in Eggo waffles which, once consumed, were used to track where people went for the rest of their lives.

(Why the waffle got digested/pooped out but the GPS trackers did not was never explained.)

The German government got involved (?) because they were pissed at the fact that America was getting all this attention for mini waffle-engulfed GPS trackers but in fact Germany had been doing this for years and could prove this by showing a complex map of all the German citizens that had been tracked by said mini waffle-engulfed GPS trackers.

Then Steven Spielberg comes out of nowhere, saying that the mini waffle-engulfed GPS trackers was his idea: he used it in Jaws to keep track of the shark while they were filming.

(‘Cause the shark in Jaws was totally real, y’all.)

I don’t remember much after that, but seriously, brain?