I don’t know what’s up with the presidents lately. Must be a new phase. Anyway, here’s this thing with the zodiacs, assassination attempts, and why Aquarians are basically screwed if they become president. I’ve done this before, but I don’t think I’ve ever put out an entire list of the presidents and their zodiac signs. So pick either your favorite presidents or your zodiac sign, and get to it! Damn you Capricorns for taking Millard Fillmore!

Assassination Key of Fun!
* Assassination attempt
** Successful assassination

George Washington: Pisces
John Adams: Scorpio
Thomas Jefferson: Aries
James Madison: Pisces
James Monroe: Taurus
John Quincy Adams: Cancer
Andrew Jackson: Pisces*
Martin Van Buren: Sagittarius
William Henry Harrison: Aquarius
John Tyler: Aries
James K Polk: Scorpio
Zachary Taylor: Sagittarius
Millard Fillmore: Capricorn
Franklin Pierce: Sagittarius
James Buchanan: Taurus
Abraham Lincoln: Aquarius**
Andrew Johnson: Capricorn
Ulysses S Grant: Taurus
Rutherford B Hayes: Libra
James A Garfield: Scorpio**
Chester A Arthur: Libra
Grover Cleveland: Pisces
Benjamin Harrison: Leo
William McKinley: Aquarius**
Theodore Roosevelt: Scorpio*
William Howard Taft: Virgo
Woodrow Wilson: Capricorn
Warren G Harding: Scorpio
Calvin Coolidge: Cancer
Herbert Hoover: Leo
Franklin D Roosevelt: Aquarius*
Harry S Truman: Taurus*
Dwight D Eisenhower: Libra
John F Kennedy: Gemini* *
Lyndon B Johnson: Virgo
Richard M Nixon: Capricorn
Gerald R Ford: Cancer* *
Ronald Reagan: Aquarius*
George Bush: Gemini*
Bill Clinton: Leo* *

Of those that were assassinated/almost assassinated, there was/were:
1 Taurus
2 Geminis
2 Cancers
1 Leo
1 Libra
2 Scorpios
4 Aquarians (WTF??)
1 Pisces

I love how there were no assassination attempts until Jackson came along. I also love how all Aquarians were assassinated/almost assassinated save one (William Henry Harrison, but honestly, who gives a crap about William Henry Harrison?).

Just a bit of fun for you all.

Okay…this is disturbing…

These are the 5 Aquarian presidents: William Harrison, Abraham Lincoln, William McKinley, Franklin D. Roosevelt, and Ronald Reagan. Of these five, four had assassination attempts, and of those four, two were assassinated.
The only one spared of this trend was Harrison. He did die in office, like all the other Aquarians except for Reagan, but honestly, who gives a crap about Harrison? Did he do anything? I don’t recall much about him from History. He’s almost as unheard of a president as the Capricorn Millard Fillmore (“Millard who?”).

Yes, I am bored, how could you tell?