Haha, what the hell?
This is probably the strangest survey I’ve come across, so of course I had to fill it out:
NAME:
Claudia
5 THINGS YOU CAN DO WITH A BRICK:
1. Build with it
2. Chuck it at an enemy
3. Hump it
4. Use it to smash one Christmas light in a long series of Christmas lights that are connected to a electrical converter that is hooked to a quarter welded to a snakeskin that has been coated with a special metal alloy that enables it to transmit nuclear energy through the air to a reciever on the hood of a time-warping machine that allows you to go back to the time to prevent said brick from ever being made.
5. Stand on it to create the illusion of height!
I WANT TO LEARN HOW TO:
Use a brick to smash one Christmas light in a long series of Christmas lights that are connected to a electrical converter that is hooked to a quarter welded to a snakeskin that has been coated with a special metal alloy that enables it to transmit nuclear energy through the air to a reciever on the hood of a time-warping machine that allows you to go back to the time to prevent said brick from ever being made.
IF YOU HAD TO BE STRANDED ON A DESERT ISLAND WITH AN INFAMOUS CRIMINAL (DEAD OR ALIVE), WHO WOULD IT BE?
Hitler! Definitely Hitler.
Note: me choosing Hitler as the criminal I’d like to spend time with on a desert island does not make me a Hitler activist. Jeez.
BARNEY THE PURPLE DINOSAUR VS. A VELOCIRAPTOR: WHO WOULD WIN?
It’s all a question of stamina. Will barney be able to withstand the disemboweling longer than the velociraptor will be able to withstand the “I love you…you love me…” song?
Yeah. My vote’s on Barney.
HOW DO YOU THROW AWAY A GARGABE CAN?
Duh! You throw it in the…
…oh.
Fail.
ITS TIME TO VOTE. THE OPPOSING PARTY OFFERS YOU $100 TO VOTE FOR THEM, AND WILL KNOW IF YOU ACTUALLY WENT THROUGH WITH IT. DO YOU ACCEPT?
The opposing party in this case is the Republican Party. So no way in hell.
IF PRESIDENT BUSH WAS A TYPE OF FOOD, WHAT FOOD WOULD HE BE?
A dodo meat burger.
No question.
HYPOTHETICAL QUESTIONS:
You mean I could make my own? Wow…this could take awhile…
I must think on this.
Millard Fillmore?! No way!
Because Millard Fillmore Appreciation Week should last one day longer than a week:
The Survey in Which Every Answer Includes the Name “Millard Fillmore”
1. I love…Millard Fillmore
2. Right now I want…to get into Millard Fillmore’s pants
3. I feel like…feeling up Millard Fillmore
4. I hate it when…I’m not feeling up Millard Fillmore
5. I fear…a world without Millard Fillmore
6. I’m lonely without…Millard Fillmore by my side
7. I need…Millard Fillmore! Now! Go!
8. Today I…went to Millard Fillmore’s grave and wept uncontrollably for the great loss our country suffered when he died
9. Tomorrow I’m…going to Millard Fillmore’s grave to weep uncontrollably for the great loss our country suffered when he died (and then I’m going to get that taco from last night’s dream)
10. I just…want Millard Fillmore, is that too much to ask?!
11. I want to meet…Abraham Lincoln (cause I’ve already met Millard Fillmore)
12. I’m hungry for…whatever Millard Fillmore cooks
13. I love it when…Millard Fillmore takes his pants off and does the “Macarena” every night at 10
14. I’m afraid of…losing my sex drive and having to explain myself to Millard Fillmore on our honeymoon
15. I’m listening to…Millard Fillmore whispering sweet nothings into the ear of a bran muffin
16. I’m wearing…underwear that used to belong to Millard Fillmore
17. I wish I was in…Millard Fillmore
18. I’m craving…Millard Fillmore’s…yeah.
19. I want to get…a Millard Fillmore action figure to play with when he’s not around!
20. I can…see myself being Millard Fillmore’s wife
21. I can’t…marry anyone else but Millard Fillmore!
22. I have…a social obligation to Millard Fillmore! That is why I can see myself as his wife!
23. I haven’t…been unfaithful to Millard Fillmore. Never!
24. I’m nervous to…tell Millard Fillmore that I once dated Zach Taylor and now he’s stalking me even though he’s dead
25. My Mom thinks…that I’m a bit too obsessed with Millard Fillmore
26. My Dad thinks…”who the hell is Millard Fillmore?”
27. I think…”Millard Fillmore + me = OMG!”
28. I’m happy when…Millard Fillmore is in the room
29. I’m sad when…Millard Fillmore sets fire to the room
30. I like eating…when Millard Fillmore’s around me!
31. I hate eating…alone and without Millard Fillmore
32. I love watching…Millard Fillmore take his drawers off and beckon me towards him
33. I love listening to…Millard Fillmore’s feeble attempts at tickling the ivory (he hates elephants and they like to stomp him)
34. I like playing…with Millard Fillmore’s fragile emotions till he’s putty in my hands and I can do whatever I want with him!
35. I hate waking up to…my parole officer threatening me in order to get me to stop stalking Millard Fillmore
36. I can see…Millard Fillmore! Seriously, he’s right there! Don’t you see him?
37. I’m glad that…Millard Fillmore was around and made our world better
38. I’m disappointed that…Millard Fillmore never got around to culinary school (those stupid elephants take up too much of his time!)
39. I look like…Millard Fillmore’s twice-removed half-brother’s uncle’s cousin’s second daughter
40. I wish I looked like…Millard Fillmore
Holy crap! Survey #3!
Two Names You Go By:
1. Claudia
2. Claude
Two Things You Are Wearing Right Now:
1. Undies
2. Pants
Two Things You Want in a Relationship:
1. True love
2. Dry humping
Two of Your Favorite Things to do:
1. Write
2. Read
Two Things You Want Very Badly At The Moment:
1. A Pulitzer Prize
2. A taco
Two pets you had/have:
1. Pretty kitty Annabelle
2. Pretty puppy Mindy
Two things you did last night:
1. Homework
2. Had a taco
Two People that live in your house:
1. Dorm, you mean? In the whole dorm? ‘Cause no one live in my room…
2. Aw frick! My fish! That counts, right?
Two things you ate today:
1. Nothing yet.
2. Seriously…been too busy
Two people you Last Talked To:
1. Mom
2. Dr. Queller (last class)
Two Things You’re doing tomorrow:
1. Homework
2. Rec Center (damn)
Two longest car rides:
1. 24 hour bus drive down to Disneyland with the band!
2. 24 hour car drive to California with my dad.
Two Favorite Holidays:
1. Christmas
2. Groundhog Day (it IS a holiday!)
Two favorite beverages:
1. Water
2. Milk
Another quiz! Top 10! Lifted from a friend! I’m unstoppable!
TEN FAVORITES
01. television show: “Chicago Hope”
02. flower: PUSSYWILLOW! Is that a flower?
03. color: Orange
04. sport: Marching band!
05. mall: Erm…Palouse?
06. music: Techno!
07. food: Basque (new obsession)
08. season: Summer
09. animal: Cat
10. city: Stockholm
TEN FACTS
01. hometown: Moscow, ID
02. hair color: Black
03. hair length: Almost boy’s length short
05. eye color: Hazel
06. shoe size: 6
07. mood: Purple
08. orientation: Towards whomever is interested (honestly)
09. available? Yes
10. lefty/righty: Righty
TEN THINGS ABOUT YOUR LOVE LIFE
01. have you ever been in love: Maybe…
02. do you believe in love: Yes
03. why did your last relationship fail? It consisted of nothing but lighthearted stalking…
04. have you ever been heartbroken: Man…yes
05. have you ever broken someone’s heart: Don’t think so…
06. have you ever fallen for your best friend: Fallen for? No. Fallen on with the goal to hump? Yes.
07. have you ever loved someone but never told them: Yes
08. are you afraid of commitment: Probably
09. have you ever had a secret admirer: Um…not so secret when they kinda stalk you visibly, but I suppose so
10. do you believe in love at first sight: Yes
TEN THINGS: THIS OR THAT
01. love or money: Humping for pocket change (a nice even mix of the two!)
02. hard liquor or beer: Neither
03. one night stand or relationship? What is humping categorized as? What if it’s repeated humping of one person?
05. television or internet: Internet
06. pepsi or coke: Neither
07. wild night out or romantic night in: Wild!
08. colored or black and white pictures: Colored
09. phone or in person: Neither
10. aim or myspace: MySpace!
TEN HAVE YOU EVERS
01. have you ever been caught sneaking out: No
02. have you ever skinny dipped: Surprisingly, no
03. have you ever done something you regret: Many times
04. have you ever bungee jumped: Unfortunately, no
05. have you ever been on a house boat: Nope
06. have you ever finished an entire jaw breaker: Nope
07. have you ever wanted someone so badly it hurt: Yes…still in pain
10. have you ever been caught by your parents doing it? Ahahaha…haha…ha…no.
TEN EMOTIONS
01. are you missing someone right now: Yes
02. are you happy: Relatively
03. are you talking to anyone right now: Myself
04. are you bored: No…I should be doing homework, actually
05. are you German: ¼ of me is
06. are you Irish: Nope
07. are you French: Nope…are these emotions?
08. are you Italian: Nope
09. are your parents still married: Nope
10. do you like someone right now: YES!
Survey time!
What Is…
Beside you: My printer
Chicken pox: “What is chicken pox?” Well, they suck…
Sore Throat: “What is sore throat?” It is bad English is what it is.
Stitches: Again, bad English!
Broken nose: Gr.
Do You…
Believe in love at first sight: Ahoy!
Long distant relationships: “Do you long distant relationships?” Nope.
Like school: I find college disappointing academically, but it’s only the first semester.
Question yourself: Oh dear god yes.
Who was the last person that called you?: Mom
Who makes you smile the most: Myself. And Claude. And Jafar.
Who knows you the best: Jafar.
Do you like filling these out: Yes. I am not ashamed.
Do you wear contact lenses or glasses: Glasses!
Do you get along with your family: My mom, yes.
Final Questions:
What did you do yesterday: Humped some stuff…went to classes…the usual.
What car/truck do you wish to have: Don’t own one a’ those.
How many remote controls are in your house?: Uno
Are you double jointed? Nope
When you last showered: Yesterday
Scary or Funny Movies: Funny
Chocolate or Vanilla: Vanilla
Rootbeer or Dr.Pepper: Neither
Summer or winter: Summah!
Silver or Gold: Gold is sex
Diamond or pearl: Diamond is sex
Sprite or 7up: Neither
Coffee or tea: Neither
Phone or in person: Neither again! I’m a rebel!
What fun.
Eigenblogger 