Ahem, I think you mean the best things for sale.

I’d buy like half of this stuff. ‘Cause I’m classy like that.

Bubble poppin’ for DAYS (literally)

A…um…healing pyramid? Yeah, sure.

Why eat ovoid eggs when you can make ‘em square and thus 1000% cooler?

If anyone on this planet would have neon green toilet paper, it would be me.
(Ah shit, I just accidentally added this to my shopping cart. Preparing for onslaught of Amazon recommending me nothing but toilet paper for the next century.)

Accidentally ditch your SD card feeding a parking meter! GENIUS!!

Did some guy steal your SD-containing nickel? STAB ‘EM IN THE NECK WITH YOUR OTHER SPECIAL NICKEL!

Now I’m just imagining a pocket full of change where not a single coin is actually viable currency but one of these weird novelty coin-like…things.