I’ve been having a real hard time working up the ability to care about anything lately.
Which would bug me, I’m sure, if I cared.
I suspect this overwhelming feeling of apathy has a lot to do with the fact that I don’t have a walking mileage goal that’s better (read: more) than last year’s. Goals motivate me. Sometimes my goals are the only things that keep me from jumping in front of a bus. But goals only work for me if they get progressively more challenging and/or impressive. So the fact that my mileage goal this year is not greater than 5,000 miles is really messing with my head. It’s like…why care about anything anymore if I’m not making progress by setting more difficult goals?
I know that probably sounds ridiculous, but I can’t think of another reason for such a high level of “I don’t care about anything anymore” feeling. I honestly feel like I wouldn’t care about something really bad happening to me (e.g., getting murdered) or something really good (e.g., winning a Nobel Prize or something) right now.
I’d just be like, “alrighty.”
So that’s a fun mood.