My Weird-Ass Nenshi Dream

Alright, take a seat for this one, ‘cause it’s gonna be long.

I don’t remember nearly as many dreams as I used to, probably because I get so little sleep that my brain goes right into REM sleep as soon as I close my eyes and it’s like “I don’t have time to remember any of this nonsense” when it comes to the dreams.

But last night’s dream I remember quite vividly.


In this dream, I’m living in this weird hybrid apartment that’s kind of like my place in Vancouver and kind of like our place here. I have no idea where Nate is or where Jazzy is; it seems like I’m living there alone.

But anyway, I come home one afternoon and Mayor Nenshi is just chilling in my living room. Now I’m pretty sure this is an unrealistic scenario—I doubt part of Nenshi’s re-election campaign is breaking and entering—but my reaction in the dream is one that makes the dream feel real. I’m like, “oh my god, how cool, Mayor Nenshi’s in my house, holy crapples, it’s Mayor Nenshi” etc.

He’s pretty cool with this; he lets me give him a hug and he says that he’s heard all about my walking and wanted to talk to me about it.


Then suddenly there are these two other guys in the house, who are apparently working as Nenshi’s publicists/promoters, and they say that they’re planning on using my commercial to help Nenshi’s campaign.

I’m thinking, “what commercial?” But I say sure, yeah, okay, go for it. They show it to me to get my final approval, and they’ve got all these shot of me talking about Nenshi while dancing around and jumping into bushes and things.

Again, this dream feels very realistic, but at this point I’m doubting the realism in the dream itself, because 1) “my” body in the commercial is way prettier than my actual body, and 2) I don’t remember doing or saying anything I’m doing or saying in the commercial.

But I say it’s all good, so they say they’ll use the commercial. Then they say they want to do another (?) interview with me and that they need some time to set up to do so, so they tell me to “go take a short walk” and come back in a little bit.

Bad idea.

I leave and realize that I can’t go down to the river path the way I normally go because there’s some sort of huge music festival at the hospital on the hill, so I end up taking a bus out to some middle-of-nowhere forest place and go walking up there.

Well, a “short walk” to me is like 10 hours or something in this dream, ‘cause the bus sent out a search and rescue team for me since I wasn’t back fast enough, and once I got back to the bus (and the very worried driver and passengers), I realized that I’d kept Nenshi and the commercial guys waiting for a loooong time.

I get back to my apartment with every intention of apologizing profusely for my lateness, but—of course—everyone is gone.

I’m like, “OH SHIT I DONE FUCKED UP THIS TIME,” and I go over to where the commercial guys were and there’s this packet of papers with all these X’s on it and the words “do not use; did not show up for interview” on it. They’ve got some other stuff on there like “do not ask for interview again” and “not appropriate conduct for publicity” or something like that.

And I am very sad, ‘cause I don’t like disappointing people or making them mad.

But then I turn around and notice a little origami box on my desk. I seem to know that this box is from Nenshi himself, so I go over and open it.

Inside is a little piece of paper that says, “Keep on walkin’” with a little smiley face.

Which is all I need for the dream to have a happy ending. Nenshi’s not mad at me and he likes my walking. Badass.

Sorry, that’s just the first dream I’ve so vividly remembered in quite some time, so I had to share it.

What sayest thou? Speak!

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