An Ode to Garbage Weather and My Recently Deceased Umbrella
(to the tune of this part of the Pirates of the Caribbean music)

What in the fuck
is all this rain
It’s like it’s GODDAMN VANCOUVER 
I’m not a duck
I hate the wet
I just want to be dry.

I should get home
but I cannot
Cause I just LOST MY UMBRELLA 
It caught the wind
It flew away
It’s gone forever, goodbye.

True story.