Mother May I Make a May List?


  • If I had been born with a sense of smell, I would have liked to go into something culinary-related. The idea of being a chef sounds super cool, but I seriously doubt I could ever actually do anything worthwhile in a culinary career with anosmia. I know there are a lot of things I just can’t taste (onions, garlic, many herbs, to name a few), so I’m sure my ability to combine flavors and make subtle awesomeness with food combos is very limited.
  • Hey, so Amazon, why the hell is this thing a “top pick” for me? Since when have I expressed any interest in toilet brushes? I like how Amazon’s algorithm picked up on the one time I accidentally clicked on a bath bomb and extrapolated to toilet brushes, but I can look at 60% of the Leibniz books that Amazon sells and still not get any Leibniz-related recommended items.

  • GOD DAMMIT WHY

  • You know a sports team is doing badly when…
  • This is fun.
  • I just remembered part of the weird dream I had last night. Amazon had opened up a new portion of its online store called “Manazon” where you could buy “man things” like beards, shaving tools, and penis polishers (????).
  • I have O Come, All Ye Faithful stuck in my head. Because, you know, it’s the Christmas season and all that.
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