RUNNING


Smart person: Hmm, I haven’t gone on a run since 2012, but let’s see what happens when I try to run on a treadmill.

Me: Hmm, I haven’t gone on a run since 2012, but let’s see what happens when I try to run on a treadmill.

Smart person: (after running a mile) Cool, this is fun and doesn’t hurt. I should take it easy, though, ‘cause I haven’t run in four years.

Me: (after running a mile) Cool, this is fun and doesn’t hurt. Let’s keep going!

Smart person: (later) I’m glad I stopped after 3 miles. It felt good and I’m not in pain!

Me: (later) LET’S KEEP RUNNING THIS IS AWESOME

Smart person: (the next morning) Still not in pain! Maybe I can run for a slightly longer distance today.

Me: (the next morning) FOR THE LOVE OF GOD AMPUTATE MY LEGS PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN

Yeah. I haven’t gone on a run since 2012 and yesterday I decided to do a dumb and run 8 miles without a break. The good news: I’m able to run 8 miles without a break and it felt fantastic. The bad news: my quadriceps feel like they’re going to shrivel up and die.

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