Last night I dreamt about Hungry Hungry Hippos.

“But Claudia, you’ve never played Hungry Hungry Hippos!”

That’s what makes it so scary. Especially since I was named Liz in the dream, which is the name of the game’s pink hippo (thank you, Wikipedia). Or it was, until the newest version of the game renamed the hippos Sweetie Potamus, Bottomless Potamus, Picky Potamus, and Veggie Potamus.

If I ever have a kid, I am so naming him Bottomless Potamus. Bottomless Potamus Mahler sounds like a name begging to be on the list of Nobel Prize winners (or the list of “Nathan’s Famous Hot Dog Eating Contest winners”…either way).

The fact that Wiki has a category on “Fictional Hippopotamuses” is freaking hilarious. As is the ease of getting from the Hungry Hungry Hippos Wiki page to the Pornography page (Hungry Hungry Hippos to YouTube to Pornography).