Villains Get the Best Songs

I remember Fern Gully as being one of my favorite movies when I was a child. My friend George and I would sit and watch the video over and over and, each time, vehemently criticize the loggers responsible for destroying the forest of Mount Warning (which, FYI, is an actual place…didn’t know that until today. Thanks, Wikipedia).


I would watch this movie a lot on my own, too. And when I did, there was always one part that I had to rewind and watch again at least twice: the song Hexxus sings when he is freed and is feeding on the oil of The Leveler.

This worried my mom. “You know that’s the villain, right?” She’d asked me that at least once, I remember. I think she thought I really liked Hexxus when in truth I was just in love with his song.

To quote one of the commenters on YouTube, “somehow, a big patch of oil singing about destroying the environment is one of the sexiest songs ever written. HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE?!?!?! >.<”

As I continued to grow older, I noticed this common theme throughout almost every animated movie I watched: the villains get the best damn songs.

Governor Ratcliffe, for example, sings a wonderful little ditty about digging up Virginia cleverly entitled Mine, Mine Mine! This was a song on a mixed Disney CD my dad had when I was a kid and I always used to listen to it before going to bed at night. Not Colors of the Wind, not Be Our Guest, not A Whole New World, but Mine, Mine Mine! Odd child.


The rat version (excuse me, the mouse version) of Governor Ratcliffe (at least in my opinion–seriously they’re similar!), Ratigan, amuses us with a song about how awesome he is.


Not to be outdone in the egomaniac category, Gaston from Beauty and the Beast has, in my opinion, the most hilarious villain song ever created.

As a specimen, yes, he IS intiiiiiimidating. I’d marry him just for the chance that these guys would break into songs like this when we’re at home.

Me: How’d you sleep last night, dear?
Lefou (singing): nooooooo oooooooooooone SLEEPS like Gaston, COUNTS HIS SHEEP like Gaston, no one suppresses Freudian urges as DEEP as Gaston!
Gaston: when in REM sleep my PGO waaaaaaaaaves are greatest!
Lefou: which helps YOU remember you’re Gaston! 
Me: …that’s nice, dear.

Also, you know, he’s roughly the size of a barge.


And let’s not forget Scar from The Lion King. Creepiness is exasperated when you listen to the German version.

For some reason, German-speaking hyenas are inherently funny to me.


Finally, for the best villain song EVER, we’ve got the good old Claude Frollo from The Hunchback of Notre Dame.

Tony Jay’s voice is fantastic in this. I just really like The Hunchback of Notre Dame.

What sayest thou? Speak!

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