Because this has renewed my will to live.

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi
You: DISCONNECT FOR YOUR OWN SAFETY, I AM AN STD
You: DO IT
You: OH GOD, YOUR GENITALS
You: YOU’RE DOWNLOADING HERPES, DISCONNECT! DISCONNECT!
You: H
You: E
You: R
You: P
You: E
You: S
You: Congratulations! You have herpes!
Stranger: i got a webcam, but you’re not like a kid are you?
Stranger: god im super fucking bored, you got a webcam? lets have some fun, i wanna dance xD
Stranger: alright well im gonna try and invite you to my webcam session thing ok?
You: Dude, you have just downloaded HERPES and you want to celebrate?
You: Sick
You: Good luck explaining this to your girlfriend
Stranger: ok, accept this http://www.freecamlink.net/OmegleCam?accept=ariella its free like omegle, but with webcams, so its awesome
You: I want no part of your herpes party!
You have disconnected.

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: 18 m usa
You: 87/f/…
You: …um…
You: Damn Alzheimer’s
You: Where am I again?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Stranger: i am china
You: YOU’RE China?!
You: Nice to meet you!
You: Holy crap, I never thought I’d get to meet China!
You: I’m the Ukraine!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: AUTO ALERT: YOU ARE CHATTING WITH A REGISTERED SEX OFFENDER. THEY DO NOT SEE THIS MESSAGE. PLEASE DISCONNECT IMMEDIATELY
You: OH SHIT SEX OFFENDER
You: OFFEND ME!
Stranger: what?
Stranger: fuck how’d you know!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hey
You: PEDESTRIAN IN THE CROSS WALK OH FUCK WATCH OUT
You: Sorry, PTSD
Stranger: fuck
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi
You: YO
You: MY NAME IS CAPTAIN CAPS LOCK
Stranger: Okay then…
You: WHAT IS YOUR NAME, FELLOW PATROLLER OF TEH INTARWEBS?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Today’s song: 22 by Lily Allen