Hello, June!


So I had this weird dream the other night about me as a kid, and it got me thinking today about all the random crap I believed when I was little. Examples:

  • I believed that since there was a New York, New Jersey, New Mexico, etc. that there existed states that were called Old York, Old Jersey, Old Mexico, etc.
  • I thought that atoms made up inorganic things and cells made up organic things and that they were entirely different and non-inclusive from one another.
  • All through preschool I thought that sounds like “th” and “ch” and “sh” had their own single letter, and I would agonize for hours over the banner we had in the classroom that listed the letters of the alphabet, trying to figure out which letters made the “th,” “ch,” and “sh” sounds. Now that I think about it, though, I don’t really know why I had that problem, ‘cause I could easily read by that point and had no problems with words like “the” or “chair.”
  • I went around for the longest time thinking that you had to “learn” how to smell. I remember having to do this assignment in first grade where our teacher put different things with strong scents in paper bags and we had to go around and identify them by smelling them. I cried the whole time because everyone else had learned to smell except for me.
  • I thought they were called “ultraviolent” rays, which is why they burned you.
  • I always wondered why posters of the body always showed the colon but never the semicolon.
  • I thought the New Testament was like a remake of the Old Testament (like Godzilla 2000 was a remake of the original Godzilla). I held that the remakers did a poor job, ‘cause nothing was really the same and there was this new character named Jesus (I was a pretty dumb kid).
  • To “box someone’s ears” meant to force them to wear little boxes around their ears, which would be embarrassing for them, which would be their punishment for whatever they did.

 

Um…yeah.

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