Here are, again, a bunch of titles I give my school documents. Enjoy. Apparently titles deserve all-caps.

• “Jesus called, he wants his Hume paper back”
• “SO-SO-SO-SOCRATES!”
• “The ExistentialShamWow holds 20 times its own weight in angst”
• “DIONYSIUS, WHYYYYYYYYYYY?!?!?!”
• “PROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOF”
• “College is fun except for this Locke paper”
• “This SERIOUSLY is the intro…FINAL VERSION!!”
• “That’s no essay…it’s a space station.”
• “It’s distressing that I derive so much pleasure from titling my documents in a silly manner”
• “OHSHITOHSHITOHSHITOHSHITOHSHIT”
• “Where’s your gravity NOW, Newton?!”
• “OH GOD THE PAIN OF EPISTEMOLOGY”
• “My Vaio hates me”
• “WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO”
• “Locke your doors!”
• “SYMBOLIC LOGIC OH GOD NO”
• “Pantsssssssss”
• “SHAZAAM! QUINE!”
• “Pseudo-intellectual ramblings regarding philosophy and other crap that’s important”
• “IGNORE THIS IT’S POINTLESS”
• “Nietzsche can suck it, I’ve got pasta”