We have a lot of magnetic words on our fridge. It was my goal over the break to write down all of our dirty sentences we had made over the semester. Here they are (I cited who wrote each sentence for each one I remember the author, so obviously there are a lot of mine, since I remember which ones I wrote):

“Fiddle my hot dirty pickle as I fondle myself in the shower.”

“This language is manipulated by us.” –Me

“Please friend, never incubate meat in our puppy.” –Michael (I think)

“Frantically nibble happy banana.” –Sean

“Come hit on me as I am madly cool and happy.” –Sean

“We only lie to you when it is time which it is always.” –Michael

“No men find my sturdy pants special.” –Me

“She is hot so we must screw.” –Me

“Throughout winter I will pretend to have power” –Michael

“Luscious brine woman shakes the pallid monkey prince’s huge torpid man pole and fiddles under his bed with candy girl’s mountainous bouncy breasts as she clubs the dark gardener’s apparatus.” –Aaron

“By repulsive I mean lovely.” –Michael

“This picture of the man is hot.”

“No one can can-can like I can.” –Me

“Live fast with no pants.” –Me

“Hump intoxicated.” –Me

“Cook my smooth pink part to introduce the flavor of galoshes.” –Me

“Gorgeous woman friend is your mother.”

“Silly butterfly tripped in the sky and falled.” –Sean

“Smile and know that I am always on top.” –Me

“Love is essential but is in desperate need of a knife at times.” –Michael

“Night breast.” –Me (this has now become our Rock Band band’s name)

“I scream for bare skin.” –Me

“Together those pecuniary drunks will teach dance.”

“Crave perfect cream.”

“Lick his pretty rod.”

“She would blow him but he has two white breasts, not two white balls.” –Me

“Clit torrent.”

“She is wonderful but only in the nude.” –Me

“Rain produced the wet morning.”

“Gimme violet velvet love muffin.” –Sean

“Think with your tool,
Such a nice, firm taco,
Always install tuna into my slot,
My vagina is private but my nipples are bare and stiff,
Together we have enough to nakedly sizzle big johnsons” –Me (don’t ask)

“Know balls like me.”

“Honey watch please as I ram this mad shaft through exquisite pudding.” –Sean

“Ghost pussy.”

“Rub delicious instrument in good deep bush.” –Sean

“Enough trousers! I would like to have sex, and together we will.” –Me

“I enter your bush
With a soft gentle push
And as you bite your lip
You feel it in your slit
Is only the tip
And no room to put it.” –Michael

“Your tremendous pendulous apparatus is enormous and makes me full of passion, as I tremble and plunge into your delicious privates after whispering luscious language that penetrated your heaving bosom.” –Me

“Zip up your fly or I will go downtown and rock your package.” –Me

“Wet urges always smell.” –Me

 “Go beg, then gush musk from your nasty mound.”

“There is no use for pants.” –Me (of course)

“Some like it on top.” (on freezer)
“Me? I like it on bottom.” (on fridge)

“Sadly I lick you as my dreams are crushed.” –Me

“I peeked in her slot and saw eternity…or pussy.”

“If you are gone, who will satisfy my wild urges?” –Me

“Languid pumping leaves me out of breath.”