I’m not a big fan of comedians, but I think that this guy, Brian Regan, is hilarious. His humor is clean, but he’s still very funny. Quotes to judge, though it’s better to look him up and watch his videos, ‘cause his physical humor is great.

(Talking about getting UPS to pick up some boxes.)
“Yeah um, I have uh, 10 boxes. And . . . no I’m another guy. Yeah, and they all weigh exactly, 22 pounds . . . and they all have a girth of . . . 3.”
“Three what?”
“Three . . . girth units! Come pick ‘em up, please. I’m beggin ya, they’re boxes, and they’re brown and they have tape all on ‘em and they’ll probably fit on a DOLLY! Why must you torture me?”

“The big yellow one is the Sun! The yellow one is the Sun!”

“Left leg… BROKEN!”

“I don’t know what’s up with cranberries, but they’re getting in all the other juices.”

“Putt, Golfer, PUTT!”

“There’s a book. There’s a plane! THERE’S ALPHA CENTAURI!”

Yay.