Oh, MSN Messenger…

MSN is fun. And since I have nothing else to blog about today because work sucks and life is boring, you get some random snippets of my conversations with people. The last two are probably the most interesting. And I have no idea what’s up with all the drug references. I’m in red, other random people I allow to speak are in blue.
I see naked women patterns in the brains in my display pic
I’ve had too much sugar

so what are you up to tonight?
Using all my willpower to resist going back to the I Hate Butterflies forums

Item response theory can go suck it

Renal failure FTW!

Metalocalypse rehab center = necessary

The possible metaphysical ramifications of the existence of god do not affect whether or not I’m going to get an Otter Pop after work. I seriously wish they did, but they don’t

I’m still torn between Leibniz and Voltaire…but Leibniz is winning ’cause his wig is more ostentatious

“Vaaaaaagiiiiiiiiiiina! Vaaaagiiiiiiiiiiiiiiina!”

God needs to write a “How To Win Arguments by Failing To Argue The Point” book

Lips placed provocatively on lollipop = freaking hard to draw

Nick and I
Hot Pockets make me want to conquer Europe

have you ever had a hot pocket?
But I’ve never wanted to conquer Europe, either
Therefore that’s the only conclusion that can be drawn
lol, wow, that symbolic logic class really cleared up your thought processes

are you high?
High on life!
And, you know, crack

Stop reading peer review journals and go buy some erotica

Sean and I take a five-factor personality test online and compare our results
So you’re always complaining that I’m emo…why are you sending me emo music?
hey, I scored a 71 on anger, don’t you contradict me!

“Your level of positive emotions is low”
That depresses me

Your interpretation of my anger issues is PISSING ME OFF

These are all Jacob and I
um, wait… you get AROUSED when the class scedules come out?
Well, as much as *I* can get aroused, I guess
I need help, don’t I?
um, yeah
There isn’t much that leaves me speechless… that statement just did
Who needs sex when I’ve got a PLANNER?

Maybe I’ll write a story on how this song makes me want to do LSD
Math rock: my anti-drug…except it makes me want to get high

I want to lick the chocolate off of the nude Swede, who wouldn’t?
Woah, I almost typed that into the wrong chat window…

I know you named your sexual organs… but did you name your breasts?
Newton and Leibniz
My boobs co-invented calculus
Or invented it independently of each other, rather
The jiggly ones have BRAINS
“It’s not good for tits to be that far from brains”
And this is probably the only time that I can ever use that Metalocalypse quote

My shuffle loves to mess with my head
Like yesterday it went through like five songs involving candy right in a row
I just don’t get why love’s always a candy comparison…I guess it makes sense, but what about the other food groups?
“Bread n’ Butter” would work as a love song, but I guess something like “Beefcake, Beefcake” would not top the charts

Wow, I never really realized how depressing the song You are My Sunshine is
“I love you so much…oh crap, you’re leaving…and I still love you…here’s a guitar solo”
“You have left me to love another, you have shattered all my dreams”
I love this song now
You could totally write this out as a threat letter to the person who dumped you…”you’ll regret it all someday”
I hadn’t heard it in the longest time, then shuffle landed on it
But the next song was Louie Louie, so I recovered

Damn you, Maggie!
mmm… pickles….
Is it sad that Pickles the drummer from Dethklok was the first thing that came to mind?
I need help
haha! That makes it REALLY dirty!
I know!

Man, I want some pickles…
the food, or the drummer?
Both would be nice

So.. if I like little pickles… does that make me a pedophile?
‘cuz I have some tasty little pickles in the fridge right now…
Gah! The imagery!

I wonder how many pickles I can fit in my mouth…
Oh good lord
Why, why, why???
‘cuz it’s FUN!

Holy crap! This pickle squirted juice all the way across the room when I squeezed it!
If I comment, I only encourage you

Last night I overdosed on M&Ms and went insane. This is Jacob and I.
Is that another metalocalypse quote, or did you eat some ‘shrooms?

 So here’s a question…why does the official Scrabble dictionary include words that are impossible to play in Scrabble?
Like “fizz”
There’s only one Z tile
Use a blank tile
But what about words with more than two Z’s?
It lists “zzz”
there are two blank tiles aren’t there?
I guess you could use both, yeah
But I know there were words in that dictionary that need more than two blank tiles and the letter
I now have a mission
First part of mission: find where I put the Scrabble dictionary
second part?
Find a word that can’t be played
Third part: blog about it
Fourth part: laugh

“Zyzzyva”–can be played, but what the fuck?
How many people–excluding American weevil enthusiasts–could just drop that word on the board without looking in the dictionary?

Is that the confluence of celestial bodies?
Indeed it is
Very good, no one knows what the hell that means
that is a FUN word to say
It is!
and that’s just about the only reason I rememberd
Haha, it’s like Lynyrd Skynyrd was allowed to put a word into the dictionary

Tubular Pasta = best band name ever
The lead singer could write under the name “Manicotti” or something
Hahahaha, a “penne” name!!
Oh god, I had way too much sugar

This song is too slow! Claudia wants metal!
You sound like you’re on crack

M&Ms: my anti-durg
Hahaha, drug, not durg
Point not proven

Hahaha, “I’m shipping off to Boston…TO FIND MY WOODEN LEG!!!”
This song shall climb my playlist quickly
what’s it called, and who is the artist?
I’m Shipping Up to Boston by the Dropkick Murphys
I know!
I’ve never heard such an upbeat song regarding amputation

If I ever get a body part amputated, I’m going to write a techno song about it
Or just, you know, rewrite the lyrics of Dropkick Murphy’s song and just have it a blatant rip off
“I’m shipping down to Boise…TO FIND MY WOODEN ARM!”


Yeah. I’m nuts.


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