Psychoanalyze Yourself

Don’t read ahead, just answer the following questions with the first thought that comes to mind. Then read what each answer means at the end.

*THE QUESTIONS*
1. You are not alone. You are walking in the woods. Who is with you?
Matt!

2. You are walking in the woods. You see an animal. What kind of animal?
I’m seein’ a wooly mammoth here. Is that too out of place?

3. What interaction takes place between you and the animal?
I go “OMG a wooly mammoth!” and he’s all “harrumph!” and we go through this whole elaborate process involving hand to hand (hand to hoof?) combat, eventually leading us to settle our differences via a game of chess (all the while with me being shocked that the word “harrumph” is recognized by spell check). They’re really civilized, wooly mammoths, if you just give them a chance.

4. You walk deeper in the woods. You enter a clearing, and before you is your DREAM house. What does it look like?
It’s tiny. But very colorful. It’s orange and lime green. It’s the most wonderful thing you’ve ever seen.

5. Is your dream house surrounded by a fence?
Can it have a moat? I’d rather have a moat.

6. You enter the house. You walk into the dining room and see the dining room table. What do you see?
Nothing…the table is clean and dust-free and bare. As it should be!

7. You exit the house and a cup is on the ground, what kind is it?
It’s one of those Tupperware bad boys.

8. What do you do with the cup?
Take it in and fill it with water to drink for us. We just walked through the woods, after all, and are thirsty.

9. You walk to the edge of the property where you find yourself at: what type of water?
The vast ocean.

10. How will you cross the water?
I forge a team of confederates eager to build me a sturdy wooden ship capable of sailing the lot of us to the other end of the earth, and upon it I take a stance not unlike that of George Washington crossing the Delaware. We would endure strife, but we would survive.

*THE MEANINGS*
1. The person who you are walking in the woods with is the most important to you.
Awwwww…

2. The size of the animal is representative of your perception of the size of your problems in your life.
Haha, good lord!

3. The severity of the interaction you have with the animal is representative of how you deal with your problems.
Sweet! Chess will solve all my problems.

4. The size of your dream home is representative of the size of your ambition to solve your problems.
Hmm…I have to disagree with this one here. I have a very strong ambition to solve my problems.

5. A lack of a fence is indicative of an open personality. People are welcome at all times. The presence of a fence indicates a closed personality. You’d prefer people not drop by unannounced.
I’m mixed, cause I said a moat. Depends on the mood I’m in and the person involved in the dropping by unannounced.

6. If your answer did NOT include food, flowers, or people, then you are generally unhappy.
Sad, isn’t it?

7. The durability of the material with the cup is made of is representative of the perceived durability of your relationship.
Hooray! Tupperware is like industrial steel!

8. What you did with the cup is representative of your attitude.
It was a rational, well thought out answer, I thought.

9. The size of the body of water is representative of the size of your sexual desire.
Haha, oh dear!

10. The way you cross the water is representative to how easy or hard you expect your life to be.
Interesting.

Yeah, I’m bored.