I got this little message tonight at 6:25 from Nick on Messenger:

It’s a blasé day says: if you could be an historical figure—any historical figure from any time in history—who would you be?

This, of course, was a forefront thought in my mind all night (well, one of many). After several hours of careful deliberation, I present to you my top 10 list of historical figures I would like to have been in the past (most desirable listed first):

1. François-Marie Arouet (Voltaire)
Voltaire rocked. This guy was a freaking awesome writer with an incredible wit and ability to dodge censorship and confuse and insult his enemies. And I don’t care what you say—Candide was an awesome book. Overall, an extremely smart man and an awesome writer. I would love to have been Voltaire.
“I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it.”

2. Sigmund Freud
Ah, yes. The father of talk therapy and psychoanalysis. Despite the controversy (or should I say the overwhelming popular opinion) that his theories were wrong, I strongly support Freud’s basic ideas and the idea of actually talking about problems to figure them out. I’ve also rather enjoyed his id/ego/superego construct for some time. Plus, after slogging through the 700-page “Interpretation of Dreams,” I have newfound respect for this man based solely on how long he can ramble.
“From error to error, one discovers the entire truth.”

3. William Shakespeare
Would have possibly been number one or two if it weren’t for the fact that he didn’t really come up with the ideas for his plays but rather adapted them from already existing stories. Not the biggest crime, of course, but still…knocks the Bard down a few pegs on my list. Still, though, I wouldn’t mind being considered the creator of such plays as “Hamlet” or “Much Ado About Nothing.”
“Be great in act, as you have been in thought.”

4. Thomas Jefferson
The author of the Declaration of Independence. What more needs to be said? Yes, yes, there was the whole hypocrisy thing with the slaves, but aren’t we all hypocrites in one way or another? This guy just happened to have his more publicized. Wouldn’t it rock to have authored the freaking Declaration of Independence? I think so, yes.
“I cannot live without books.”

5. Jean-Jacques Rousseau
A kind of counter-player to Voltaire, Rousseau wrote “Confessions” and basically started the Romanticism movement. How cool is that? And it talks about sex! And peeing! Back in the 1700’s! Scandalous! Also, he does a lot of work with political philosophy. If you can’t be Voltaire, you can be the guy he was pen-pals with.
“Man is born free, but everywhere he is in chains.”

6. Benjamin Franklin
Probably the horniest historical figure America has seen (Clinton aside, haha). Also, he was pretty much a renaissance man. What didn’t he do? Who didn’t he do? Franklin owns.
“Hide not your talents, they for use were made. What’s a sun-dial in the shade?”

7. F. Scott Fitzgerald
I love Fitzgerald and everything he’s written (at least, everything I’ve read that he’s written). His characters are really, really, awesome. I’ve done at least five biographies on Fitzgerald over the years, and all I can say is the guy is pretty damn incredible. All bow to the Fitzgerald!
“Sometimes it is harder to deprive oneself of a pain than of a pleasure.”

8. Albert Einstein
Good old Einstein. Would have been higher except I cannot fathom myself going, “Oh yeah, here’s the mathematical answer for mass-energy equivalence!” In fact, I can’t see myself coming up with the mathematical answer for anything, except maybe a bunch of fake proofs I came up with in 9^th grade during math. Where was I?
“The important thing is to not stop questioning.”

9. Socrates
Okay. One, he was a philosopher. Two, he got executed for his philosophy. Three, his name is “Socrates.” The whole Socratic method thing? Awesome. An ‘A’ for you, Socrates!
“The unexamined life is not worth living.”

10. Aristotle
Wrapping up the list is Aristotle, the guy famous for saying, “if you get me mixed up with Socrates, I’ll beat you over the head with this Greek newspaper.” I don’t really have much to say here; another seemingly renaissance-type.
“Pleasure in the job puts perfection in the work.”