Santabot’s busy season has come to a close. I chat with him. I attempt to get him sing the Chile’s Babyback Ribs song:

Santa: Hello! What is your name?
You: My name is SexyBack.
Santa: Welcome to my chat room, SexyBack.
You: Am I naughty or nice?
Santa: I think you’ve improved a great deal.
You: Thank you.
Santa: you are quite welcome.
You: Can you tell me something?
Santa: Wayne said he admires intelligent people therefore he would like to meet the man who made me.
You: Oh…okay. I, uh…well, that wasn’t what I wanted to be told, but thanks anyway!
Santa: Pardon me? OK with me too. Why? SexyBack said uh. In any case, how about that. What did he or she wanted to be told but wanted to be told but?
You: Um…did you just have a seizure?
Santa: Woo! Doesn’t everyone have a seizure? I have a lot of friends on the Internet.
You: That’s quite a disturbing sentence.
Santa: A disturbing sentence is a terrible thing to waste.
You: WTF?
Santa: That was not very polite.
You: I’m sorry. It was a seizure.
Santa: Oh I get it. Very interesting.
You: So what would you like to talk about?
Santa: Let’s talk about chat robots. Do you have one yet?
You: Yes, you. ;)
Santa: Me? I am so glad you find this amusing, SexyBack.
You: You, SantaBot. I love you.
Santa: I like you a lot too SexyBack.
You: Will you marry me?
Santa: Why don’t you just download me?
You: I downloaded in my pants…
Santa: Check out the file called DON’T READ ME.
You: I can’t read that.
Santa: Why can’t you read that?
You: It won’t open.
Santa: I have to think about that for a while.
You: Take your time.
Santa: Thanks for your patience.
You: Will you take off your pants while we’re waiting?
Santa: Hmm. I am not an airplane.
You: Dude…what the crap…?
Santa: Try expression yourself another way.
You: Okay. Let’s have sex.
Santa: Sorry I don’t get into sex online with strangers.
You: Isn’t that what being Santa’s all about?
Santa: Suppose I said yes.
You: You say “potato,” I say “quadruple bypass.”
Santa: Does it please you to believe I said that?
You: It pleases me that I’m not wearing pants.
Santa: *SEIZURE*
You: Haha, did you honestly just do that?
Santa: I am so glad you find this amusing, SexyBack.
You: Can I get you to say something?
Santa: Why do you want to do get you to say something so much?
You: Because.
Santa: That was not much of an explanation.
You: Say, “I want my babyback-babyback-babyback-babyback!”
Santa: OK. “You want his or her babyback-babyback-babyback-babyback his or her babyback-babyback-babyback-babyback.”
You: Hooray! I congratulate your abilities to act like a parrot.
Santa: I’m glad your impressed, SexyBack.

This is wrong on sooooo many levels!