What the friggity flying hell is up with this?

Why do people try to out-emo each other? I’v e heard about seven different conversations regarding the awfulness of peoples’ lives over the course of the last week, and each went something like this:

“My life sucks.”
“So does mine.”
“Mine sucks so bad. My mom wouldn’t buy me Half-Life 2 so I tried to slit my wrists last night.”
“I tried to slit my wrists three times last week.”
“I tried to hang myself from my bed last Wednesday, but the rope broke, so I decided to do my math instead.”
“I tried that last month, but my mom came in the room so I pretended I was practicing knot-tying.”
“There’s no point in living, really. I hate everything. My parents suck.”
“I’m so full of hatred and anger. “
“I bet I have more hatred and anger than you do.”
“You can’t possibly have more hatred than I do.”
“I’m pretty sure I do.”
“I bet I’m more miserable than you!”
“Prove it!”
“I can slit my wrists much better than you!”
“You’re on! Your house or mine?”
“Yours. My little sis just got a Furby and I don’t think it would be nice to get blood all over it and stuff.”
“Okay. Hey, we can play D&D for a few hours before we start.”
“That sounds so boring and utterly pointless.”
“True. Why do we even bother?”
“I dunno…So 5:00?”
“Yeah.”

I’m sure your lives are just awful, what with that roof over your head and your opportunity to go to college and the fact that the cafeteria is open and available only MOST of the hours of the day instead of all of them. Just awful. No wonder you want to kill yourselves.

Gr.